Oneupmanship on Bullies

I want to one-up difficult people.

-One way I was thinking of doing that is by giving people the silent treatment, but that might be too hard. I'm naturally polite.

-Another way I was thinking was to have a superiority complex. People with these tend to not care what people think.

-I was thinking of being stuck up. After all, people think quiet people are stuck up anyway. But I have no justification for being stuck up. I'm not that successful and even if I was, nobody would necessarily care.

-Or I could just keep people at arm's length. Work on getting a work from home job. Just stay away from people.

Thoughts?

The "correct" advice (that is impossible to actually follow): don't bother. By looking for ways to get back at them, you're giving them too much power over you. Some people are jerks, but they're not your people, and they're not your responsibility.

Never been bullied that I think but I agree with the don't bother. Without understanding how you are actually being bullied, hard to give a better answer.

CityMouse wrote:I want to one-up difficult people.

-One way I was thinking of doing that is by giving people the silent treatment, but that might be too hard. I'm naturally polite.

It'd be better to not give a reaction than the silent treatment. Silence treatment lets them know you're bothered whereas not reacting as if they're bothering makes them feel like they're wasting their time. Bullies tend to feed of reaction.

CityMouse wrote:-Another way I was thinking was to have a superiority complex. People with these tend to not care what people think.

This will get you cut down real quick if you don't know what you're doing. Thing is confidence/no reaction works, but acting superior while being unsure of how to react when they make their move...be ready for them.

CityMouse wrote:-I was thinking of being stuck up. After all, people think quiet people are stuck up anyway. But I have no justification for being stuck up. I'm not that successful and even if I was, nobody would necessarily care.

They'll simply make fun of you for it, and you'll hate feeling misinterpreted even if you chose to act that way.

CityMouse wrote:-Or I could just keep people at arm's length. Work on getting a work from home job. Just stay away from people.

Bahaha that's sooooooooo not the way to go! *She said from her isolated home office* >.>;

CityMouse wrote:I want to one-up difficult people.

-One way I was thinking of doing that is by giving people the silent treatment, but that might be too hard. I'm naturally polite.

-Another way I was thinking was to have a superiority complex. People with these tend to not care what people think.

-I was thinking of being stuck up. After all, people think quiet people are stuck up anyway. But I have no justification for being stuck up. I'm not that successful and even if I was, nobody would necessarily care.

-Or I could just keep people at arm's length. Work on getting a work from home job. Just stay away from people.

Thoughts?

I assume these people are co-workers.

The reactions you suggested are all going to provide supply to these bullies. It's just the reaction they're looking for. It may seem like fighting back, but it's really your way of saying "Ouch! You got me!"

You have to ignore them, difficult as that may seem. Look at them as toddlers having a temper tantrum; reacting will only spur them on more.

If this is indeed a work issue, that should probably make it easier. When they start on you, remember that you're there to do your work, not to appease immature children who need a reaction from you to validate themselves. Treat them as such. Don't ignore, disregard them. There's a difference.

Roll your eyes or sadly shake your head as if they're making fools of themselves. But don't direct it at them. Roll your eyes to yourself, as if to say "How am I supposed to concentrate on my work with all these babies running around?"

Your best bet might actually be leaving ASAP. Yes it sucks, but it's a honest death spiral if a lot of people are bullies.