Schizoid or Avoidant?

Yeah I've heard that this goes beyond daydreaming. It may in fact be psychosis and may just be blunted due to the antipsychotics.

I called my doctor's office and they said my diagnosis is schizophrenia. I just found it hard to believe because I'm functional, not insane. I can speak coherently, groom, work, etc. And I went in the schizophrenia section here: their delusions are totally outlandish, like being followed by the CIA, being possessed by aliens, stuff like that. That's what comes to mind when I think of schizophrenia, not a fear of being sabotaged or controlled by an everyday person/authority figure.

There's such a thing as 'simple schizophrenia', which includes only the negative psychotic symptoms (ie no hallucinations, no delusions, possibly no disordered thought/speech?). It's higher-functioning but still severe. This is just off Wikipedia though, who knows.

I'm not sure how typical the outlandish style of delusion/hallucination is for people with schizophrenia. Not saying that it isn't, but I could believe that it wasn't. It might depend on how much insight you have.

Fear of the people in your own life is definitely common in schizophrenia. I knew a couple of people in school who went on to develop it. One believes that his parents are controlling him for the benefit of a crime syndicate, which is an everyday kind of outlandishness I suppose. The other just disappeared. I think she's probably terrified of literally everyone, including her parents, although they are the kindest people you could hope to meet.

SkeletonWarDraftee wrote:I think she's probably terrified of literally everyone, including her parents, although they are the kindest people you could hope to meet.

That's what they want you to think.

Holodeck wrote:I have never heard this before.

Of course, because I made that up Glad I made you laugh. I've been working on my sense of humor but honestly not many people appreciate deadpan so it's easier via text. Not many people appreciate being compared to escorts, either, which kind of proves the point, honestly..

SkeletonWarDraftee wrote:There's such a thing as 'simple schizophrenia', which includes only the negative psychotic symptoms (ie no hallucinations, no delusions, possibly no disordered thought/speech?). It's higher-functioning but still severe. This is just off Wikipedia though, who knows.

Simple-type schizophrenia is a sub-type of schizophrenia as defined in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10).[1] It is not included in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Simple-type schizophrenia is characterized by negative ("deficit") symptoms, such as avolition, apathy, anhedonia, reduced affect display, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, low activity; with absence of hallucinations or delusions of any kind.

They should call it diet schizophrenia. Gluten-free schizophrenia. As defined above, it sounds more like SPD.

I think schizoid, schizotypal and schizophrenia could be viewed as a spectrum. Call it the "schiz spectrum". I think I have some mild traits of schizotypal PD. Easily prone to odd beliefs, paranoia, distrust of people who are close to me. But not to any great extent. During periods of acute depression, which tends to exacerbate symptoms of my other disorders, I've had auditory hallucinations and what I call "conceptual hallucinations" in which I have the feeling that there's a wasp living on my body. I can't see it or feel it, but I know it's there, keeping itself out of my view. But I believe this is stress-related, rather than any indication of psychosis.

iabsurdlyexist wrote:As for being inferior, it has been more of a physical/mental sensation, not based on actual abilities. I'd actually feel smaller than I really was, almost like I was still a kid. I wish I could describe it better than that.

Sometimes I feel like part of me is still stuck in a childhood-like mindset. I'll be ruminating over something and it will suddenly occur to me that I'm an adult: no one is going to bail me out of whatever problem I'm struggling with. It's all up to me. It's a jarring feeling.

EmpathySucks wrote:About grandiosity/competitiveness: sometimes it feels like social interaction can be quite.. I dunno, transnational? It seems like there's this hidden, unaccounted for price you need to pay that I'm not sure WHAT it is. Maybe it's a lesson you learn when you're younger and I missed it.

This is a reoccurring theme here. The feeling of missing something or some kind of deficiency where social matters are concerned.

With escorts, the price is clear. Everyone else? You're not a honest person until you're an escort.

That's actually pretty schizoid way of thinking. There's a lot of game playing that seems to go along with standard social behavior. I think it stems from emotional needs. I find it confusing and unnecessary. I prefer to be more direct. So maybe the emotional disconnect that comes with SPD is what makes this game playing seem confusing and unnecessary.

there's a guy in AvPD who uses escorts regularly. I would too, if I had the money. Schizoids are often described as non-sexual because they fear the emotional intimacy that comes with sex.That's not non-sexual. It just means that the whole courtship thing that is often a required prerequisite to sex is too daunting and exhausting for us. Sex is desired, but it's simply not worth the effort. With escorts there's no need to flaunt your feathers like a peacock in heat. It's more direct, honest. It turns a convoluted mating ritual into a simple exchange.

naps wrote:Sometimes I feel like part of me is still stuck in a childhood-like mindset. I'll be ruminating over something and it will suddenly occur to me that I'm an adult: no one is going to bail me out of whatever problem I'm struggling with. It's all up to me. It's a jarring feeling.

A majority of adults can be quite unreliable. I could barely rely on adults for pretty much all my life. Parents tried to "fix" me, teachers ignored me.

This is a reoccurring theme here. The feeling of missing something or some kind of deficiency where social matters are concerned.

It's more like playing a game by somebody else's rules.

That's actually pretty schizoid way of thinking. There's a lot of game playing that seems to go along with standard social behavior. I think it stems from emotional needs. I find it confusing and unnecessary. I prefer to be more direct. So maybe the emotional disconnect that comes with SPD is what makes this game playing seem confusing and unnecessary.

No need to feed my would-be schizoid ego. I'm actually ruling out SPD until I get a diagnosis.

Honest trigger warning: this may be annoying but you're focusing on your own viewpoint too much; It's a bit annoying to understand that other people also have their own life and their own viewpoints, but mainly because I've had experiences of being marginalized. Being reminded that other people have their own agency can feel like being bullied.

I find great humor in people selectively assigning humanity to some people and none to others. I wouldn't condone bad things happening to those people, but the ironi would amuse me, at least.

EmpathySucks wrote:Honest trigger warning: this may be annoying but you're focusing on your own viewpoint too much

I have no other viewpoint to offer!

It's a bit annoying to understand that other people also have their own life and their own viewpoints, but mainly because I've had experiences of being marginalized. Being reminded that other people have their own agency can feel like being bullied.

Actually, this has brought me some measure of peace. It takes the aggravating mystery out of why some people do and say ridiculous or harmful things. It's because they have their own beliefs and are entitled to them, as am I, however wrong they may be.

naps wrote:That's actually pretty schizoid way of thinking. There's a lot of game playing that seems to go along with standard social behavior.

I don't mind games up to the point that I realize the other person doesn't know we're only playing.

EmpathySucks wrote:focusing on your own viewpoint

Probably what we're all here for, tbh.

Holodeck wrote:All of that sounds like someone who feels at least somewhat inferior, and definitely down in the dumps.

iabsurdlyexist wrote:As for being inferior, it has been more of a physical/mental sensation, not based on actual abilities. I'd actually feel smaller than I really was, almost like I was still a kid. I wish I could describe it better than that.

Thinking about these two things some more. I was short as a kid and I still usually think of people as taller than me (I'm taller than average now, but not a giant or anything).

I truly don't feel inadequate, but I think I use a different metric to evaluate myself than I do for other people, and it's an easier one. Maybe I still see myself as a child. Certainly, if I could definitively name a time when I experienced meaning, it was before I was expected to participate in the adult world as a fellow traveller.

EmpathySucks wrote:

Holodeck wrote:I have never heard this before.

Of course, because I made that up Glad I made you laugh. I've been working on my sense of humor but honestly not many people appreciate deadpan so it's easier via text. Not many people appreciate being compared to escorts, either, which kind of proves the point, honestly..

People need to lighten up.

naps wrote:

SkeletonWarDraftee wrote:There's such a thing as 'simple schizophrenia', which includes only the negative psychotic symptoms (ie no hallucinations, no delusions, possibly no disordered thought/speech?). It's higher-functioning but still severe. This is just off Wikipedia though, who knows.

Simple-type schizophrenia is a sub-type of schizophrenia as defined in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10).[1] It is not included in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Simple-type schizophrenia is characterized by negative ("deficit") symptoms, such as avolition, apathy, anhedonia, reduced affect display, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, low activity; with absence of hallucinations or delusions of any kind.

They should call it diet schizophrenia. Gluten-free schizophrenia. As defined above, it sounds more like SPD.

I think schizoid, schizotypal and schizophrenia could be viewed as a spectrum. Call it the "schiz spectrum". I think I have some mild traits of schizotypal PD. Easily prone to odd beliefs, paranoia, distrust of people who are close to me. But not to any great extent. During periods of acute depression, which tends to exacerbate symptoms of my other disorders, I've had auditory hallucinations and what I call "conceptual hallucinations" in which I have the feeling that there's a wasp living on my body. I can't see it or feel it, but I know it's there, keeping itself out of my view. But I believe this is stress-related, rather than any indication of psychosis.

Great. Now my OCD senses are tingling. No OCD bad! you aren't schizotypal! That's what we first checked! We also asked about schizophrenia! You quit that right now! *Newspaper smack*

iabsurdlyexist wrote:As for being inferior...

I wanna jump in and say that I think competitive nature is actually more likely an inferior mindset since they feel they need to prove themselves so badly. Not necessarily for every competitive person, but after I thought about a lot of people I knew with that nature...yeah all of them were excruciatingly insecure.

naps wrote:Sometimes I feel like part of me is still stuck in a childhood-like mindset. I'll be ruminating over something and it will suddenly occur to me that I'm an adult: no one is going to bail me out of whatever problem I'm struggling with. It's all up to me. It's a jarring feeling.

I think that's everyone.

EmpathySucks wrote:About grandiosity/competitiveness: sometimes it feels like social interaction can be quite.. I dunno, transnational? It seems like there's this hidden, unaccounted for price you need to pay that I'm not sure WHAT it is. Maybe it's a lesson you learn when you're younger and I missed it.

Also want to elaborate on this after thinking on it more (see competitive comment above). I was more covert about my grandiose nature in an inner world way when younger. Due to having to jump through a lot of fire encased hoops as an adult, I learned that I had earned the right to feel a bit proud of myself. This changed the way I socialized with people due to that new found confidence.

EmpathySucks wrote:
A majority of adults can be quite unreliable. I could barely rely on adults for pretty much all my life. Parents tried to "fix" me, teachers ignored me.

Yup. Everyone sucks at adulting. Even adults.

SkeletonWarDraftee wrote:Thinking about these two things some more. I was short as a kid and I still usually think of people as taller than me (I'm taller than average now, but not a giant or anything).

I truly don't feel inadequate, but I think I use a different metric to evaluate myself than I do for other people, and it's an easier one. Maybe I still see myself as a child. Certainly, if I could definitively name a time when I experienced meaning, it was before I was expected to participate in the adult world as a fellow traveller.

A few months ago, I had some speech issues that crop up when I'm not getting enough serotonin in my diet (a for of dyslexia.) Basically it makes my hearing weird which in turn makes my speech weird. I had that issue till the age of 27. I'm 31 now. I've been told throughout all my life how annoying it is to try to understand me when I talk/write.

Someone those few months ago said it sounded cute, and I automatically felt horrible remembering all of my bad grades in school and kids calling me retarded due to it while making fun of how I had trouble stringing together sentences without accidentally saying the same words two or three times. Like I've said before. I tend to come off as fairly confident. I don't exactly know how I came off to them, but I know went quiet and regressive for the rest of the day.