The Spectrum

ZonedOut wrote:Don't worry. The welcome mat isn't worn out yet, if you ask me. But what I'm trying to say is that I think you tend to oversimplify things in your undoubtly well-meant quest for understanding. There isn't a one-on-one relationship between internal experience and behavior, nor do I believe that the severity of one's schizoidness can be measured by the amount of social interaction. That would be oversimplification taken to outright absurd levels (but sadly not even uncommon in mainstream psychiatry). Of course, there may be a correlation, but there is so much more going on inside, in one's private experience hidden from the outside observer, and ultimately in one's sense of being in itself.

Well, maybe I should asked the Administrators for a slight user name change: EasyasPie.

EasyasPi wrote:

It's a touchy subject I know and i was hesitant to post it knowing the possible reactions to it. I always wonder and worry when the welcome mat is worn out.

I don't feel so much that it's a touchy subject, but more that a lot of folks misunderstand it. Honestly I believe it's good that folks make posts like this, so others might understand it better.

Holodeck wrote:

EasyasPi wrote:

It's a touchy subject I know and i was hesitant to post it knowing the possible reactions to it. I always wonder and worry when the welcome mat is worn out.

I don't feel so much that it's a touchy subject, but more that a lot of folks misunderstand it. Honestly I believe it's good that folks make posts like this, so others might understand it better.

Thats true.

I have the intention and motive to reduce something and everything disparate or " complex" to something relatable and simple. On a macro level that is always possible.

It is just an interest of mine and it probably is due to typology of my personality type via MBTI.

Things are reducible to primary constituents if you work one end of it down through to the other end, sifting through it, and find what is missing or not there; and that one piece is going to tell the whole story. Once it's all shattered into pieces, then you can reconstruct it. Eureka moment!

I could care less is if the whole world says it does not "exist" or can't be done.

Wrapping this dead thread up with real SPD:

Man : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEzGCKl0CZE

Man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjOl7sfeJJk

Woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBUHCVKcH-c

I liked hearing the bald schizoid guy explain that while he has many interests, it's more comfortable to him to lie on his bed and think about doing them rather than actually do them.

I do this a lot because it's very depressing to start an activity you used to enjoy or are supposed to enjoy and instead find it tedious.

I find it depressing, naps, that this was the thing that ailed me all along, in that me finding the mystery combination of smart drugs to cure this neutral state of mind, has ended. It is far more pervasive than what I originally thought over the years. I had no idea it ran this deep as far as being incurable, at all. It's a curable as autism is.

I'd like an fMRI of my brain if there was a study to particpate in, like they had for schizotypal in an imaging study. Interestingly they found the same areas mostly, but with reduced volumes when comparing it to schizophrenia controls. In other words they expected to see the same brain as in schizophrenia but with smaller volumes in measurements and it confirmed their hypothesis of what they would expect to find.

I'm glad I didn't have any kids. The buck stops here as the saying goes. I'm a second generation PD, very possibly a 3rd.

This time my sig is not comforting.

What I found fundamentally wrong with these insights they view SPD as a disease or an affliction, something that you have or get. In my opinion it's not that at all but what or better how you are.

There is no in and no out. If you get what mean, you are born this way and die this way. Blood in, blood out. Everything else is pretense.

I remember they told me when I was really small kid and they dropped me off in kindergarten, they found me later in exactly they same place, just sitting there. I only did thing if I was told to (much like now). No impulse or initiative to socialize or do much of anything...

1st- the way he talks is disturbingly similar to how I talk.

2nd- the talk of the attempts of the adrenaline rush thing is definitely something I do. For me I have no major worry other than...I guess the word here would be annoyance at explaining myself to others. It's nice feeling something different even if it's a physical feeling rather than actual emotion.

3rd- It struck me when she said her dream was to be isolated in the middle of nowhere and not wanting anything to do with others. I differ with that due to simply wanting to be self sufficient enough to not need others. As of right now I have all my bills paid off, my own car, could afford my apartment without my boyfriend (and still save), and work for myself. That all is my "ideal living situation" or whatever you want to call that.

The part where she mentioned not showing negative emotion during a trying time and having people question her reminded me of a similar time in my life. It's bad enough to not display much emotion after something bad happens, but makes people wonder when something traumatic happens and there aren't any tears, sadness or major looks of trauma in the person's expression.

I differ with sexual connection. She said she can if she shares a bond intellectually. I even then have to disconnect/dissociate from it a lot. It can be so bad that if a person talks to me while having sex, my libido will be completely shot even if I find them attractive.

It was nice seeing others who also seem to only smile in a cynical way.

N1ghty wrote:What I found fundamentally wrong with these insights they view SPD as a disease or an affliction, something that you have or get. In my opinion it's not that at all but what or better how you are.

There is no in and no out. If you get what mean, you are born this way and die this way. Blood in, blood out. Everything else is pretense.

I remember they told me when I was really small kid and they dropped me off in kindergarten, they found me later in exactly they same place, just sitting there. I only did thing if I was told to (much like now). No impulse or initiative to socialize or do much of anything...

I was not born with SPD. There may be a genetic link, but mine was brought on by several situations that I prefer hadn't happened. I'd rather I would be how I used to be.

I didn't act out a ton as a kid, but I've always been longing for extroversion. My parents wouldn't let me hang out with other kids for a variety of sheltering reasons, but I wanted to. When I hung out with other kids, I often went way out of my way to not have to go back with my parents. I'd have us "get lost" while we were hidden and could spot my folks from around a corner or whatever.

When I moved out, it was scary at first but invigorating out on my own. Then came a concussion in the frontal lobe area during several years of major trauma...bout the middle of those 7 years (around the same time of the concussion) I stopped feeling thing the same amount as I used to. Coulda been the injury or the experience, but either way for me I feel suppressed and hate it.

Some are already introverts though, and I'm sure that would make things MUCH easier.

Holodeck wrote:I was not born with SPD. There may be a genetic link, but mine was brought on by several situations that I prefer hadn't happened. I'd rather I would be how I used to be.

Nobody is born a schizoid, but you are born with certain brain structure which has a tendency to form your personality in certain way. It's an intricate interplay of genetics and experience, but you react in certain way and process events because it's how it's natural to you. Circulus vitiosus. People with different brain structure would react completely differently. I had my covert times. Your personality is completely formed in a certain way well past teens... but I think for some of us the number of possible outcomes is severely restricted.

Ok, I get what you mean. When you said this it confused me.

N1ghty wrote: you are born this way and die this way. Blood in, blood out.

I was trained by my parents to be very avoidant, but when away from them I acted quite the opposite, both as a kid and teen/young adult. I'm not sure which/what thing specifically caused it for me, but I'm sure in many cases genetics is a possible precursor.