Do pwSPD split after a break-up

First of all, I know that many of you don't have relationships, so of course it just refers to those persons who do or had a relationship at some point in their life.

I had a friends with benefits kind of thing with someone who has schizoid traits or a spd. He recently told me that he doesn't want any physical contact with me anymore, but still wants to see me and getting to know me. I told him, that I can't do that because of my (not so platonic) feelings for him but he convinced me that we should try. To me it seems like on the one hand he pushes me away (doesn't want to have sex anymore) and at the same time wants me to stay.
I tried to accept his terms of our "friendship" (a term he would never use to describe our "thing") but I can't.
So I told him recently that I don't want to see him anymore. He was kind of mad about that, because he wanted to negotiate the terms of our "relationship". It is hard to tell what kind of emotion he felt, but he looked at me like he was far away from everything around him (like he did dissociate). Then he said that he is "sad and disappointed" and that he hopes that I don't take it too hard, when we will see each other by chance.
It was confusing because he really seemed hurt and I know that he did care about me because he wanted me to stay.
But now I am afraid that he will completely split on me...that he cut me out of his memories. (ALthough he told me once that he always keeps an "imago" of persons he once cared about with him in his memories even if they don't talk to each other anymore)...

silentglow wrote:First of all, I know that many of you don't have relationships, so of course it just refers to those persons who do or had a relationship at some point in their life.

I had a friends with benefits kind of thing with someone who has schizoid traits or a spd. He recently told me that he doesn't want any physical contact with me anymore, but still wants to see me and getting to know me. I told him, that I can't do that because of my (not so platonic) feelings for him but he convinced me that we should try. To me it seems like on the one hand he pushes me away (doesn't want to have sex anymore) and at the same time wants me to stay.
I tried to accept his terms of our "friendship" (a term he would never use to describe our "thing") but I can't.
So I told him recently that I don't want to see him anymore. He was kind of mad about that, because he wanted to negotiate the terms of our "relationship". It is hard to tell what kind of emotion he felt, but he looked at me like he was far away from everything around him (like he did dissociate). Then he said that he is "sad and disappointed" and that he hopes that I don't take it too hard, when we will see each other by chance.
It was confusing because he really seemed hurt and I know that he did care about me because he wanted me to stay.
But now I am afraid that he will completely split on me...that he cut me out of his memories. (ALthough he told me once that he always keeps an "imago" of persons he once cared about with him in his memories even if they don't talk to each other anymore)...

I would love to help, but I am absolutely clueless on this one. I can't speak for another Schizoid. There are very different types of Schizoids. I would fall under the severe or "pure" end of the spectrum. Many others will fall under the mild end. Me trying to solve this issue would be comical, but I wish the best for you and this other guy (no matter what).

I think that would constitute "splitting" or standing away, emotionally.

I get a sense it might feel overwhelming to him on the touchy feely side of a relationship. As a guess he can't relate to it anymore in the down cycle, thus it feels hollow or in-authentic, and smothering. There is nothing there, anymore.

I think that the emotional side of life is limited to such an extent that sharing yourself or "values" is just an intellectual exercise, and mostly non-stimulating, or rewarding, especially to blab about it 24/7, like the rest of the world. It's unrewarding.

But, expecting someone else to cut out the intimate part, and retain the other half on a whim, shows a want in awareness. That is where one is lacking insight into people, where there is emotional investment at the onset of a relationship, for them to just flick it "off" like a light switch.

Will he forget about everything? It's hard to say; it's not binary as either or.

It's done now and you made a choice. and I'd live with it. Life is far from easy.

I don't think that he switched the emotional part off, he had other reasons for quitting the physical part. I know that he did care and I know that his feelings can't be easily compared to my "romantic" feelings. But I am ok with that.
But I was suprised that he was hurting so much and I don't know why he felt that way because he knows that I care very much for him.
I just wondered how I can take this kind of pain, which he can't express...and I wondered if he can switch it off and if I can take his need to switch it off...and if it was just a momentary switching it off or if he needs to remain in this state...