Get To Know Them

UK SPD wrote:At the end of our marriage my first wife called me a 'hollow man' - among the long list of reasons to support this (mostly accurate) was my lack of interest in making friends. Personally, I think that it is more an inability to work out why/when a friendly acquaintance actually becomes a 'friend'.

Haha, you're not alone there. After the break up she referred to me as a robot, that should just live on his own island and that I have no opinions. Of course the opinions part is not true but whatever.

Thanks for sharing this fact. I'm thinking of getting married but for more pragmatic reasons (kids and family). I should be prepared for potential fallouts with my future wife.

An ex of mine from distant past was a musician. At first he was delighted that I was the only woman he had ever met, according to him, who took his job like any other profession (no fangirl reaction). Later he accused me of being cold-hearted and unsupportive when I didn't go to his concerts as often as he would have wanted.

PerplexedMan wrote:I was once in a relationship with a beautiful older woman. Things were ok for some time but then it went sour. During a heated argument she made an observation about me which sort of surprised me. She questioned me: "you don't seem very interested in getting to know others?". I didn't know how to reply. It actually took me some time to become comfortable in my own skin, to accept that I don't feel things others do. But at that time I was still delusional about my ability to relate to others. I hadn't noticed that people are a LOT closer to each other than I am with anyone. Maybe I noticed but I still believed I could relate. Have any of you ever been called out for your lack of interest in others?

No, I haven't been called out for it. But I, TRULY, am not interested in getting to know others. I would sometimes pretend ("schizoid exhibitionism") to date some women (more "schizoid exhibitionism", since dating is obviously not a natural state for me). But, the truth is, I am not interested in getting to know anyone. It doesn't matter if it's the most beautiful woman in the World, I'm not interested in getting to know her. I guess maybe I should not assume that everyone else would bore me, but that's just how I am.

Anyway, to sum it up, if I'm not interested in doing the "schizoid exhibitionism" thing (which I'm usually never interested in), then people are going to have to come to me and get to know me. I am not going to come to them and get to know them.

In my twenties I made a few attempts at having a romantic relationship, but after a few months I always ended up feeling suffocated and left them without ever looking back. Sharing space with someone was not something I enjoyed, nor was the feeling of someone being so needy for my affection/attention. Unlike most girls my age who would mope around for months depressed, breakups to me were the best feeling in the world. It's the same feeling I get when I visit a new town where I don't know a single soul.

evawright wrote:In my twenties I made a few attempts at having a romantic relationship, but after a few months I always ended up feeling suffocated and left them without ever looking back. Sharing space with someone was not something I enjoyed, nor was the feeling of someone being so needy for my affection/attention. Unlike most girls my age who would mope around for months depressed, breakups to me were the best feeling in the world. It's the same feeling I get when I visit a new town where I don't know a single soul.

I see where you are coming from with this. It's pretty surprising to see a lady say this (even on this message board). So yeah...to me, this says something.

I Dream 5 wrote:

evawright wrote:In my twenties I made a few attempts at having a romantic relationship, but after a few months I always ended up feeling suffocated and left them without ever looking back. Sharing space with someone was not something I enjoyed, nor was the feeling of someone being so needy for my affection/attention. Unlike most girls my age who would mope around for months depressed, breakups to me were the best feeling in the world. It's the same feeling I get when I visit a new town where I don't know a single soul.

I see where you are coming from with this. It's pretty surprising to see a lady say this (even on this message board). So yeah...to me, this says something.

I'd also add (as I've stated before) that this fierce independence is a strong alpha trait of the Schizoid. Indeed, I've always considered Schizoids to have strong alpha traits. I consider non-conformity another strong alpha trait. It's never been easy for me to "play along" and not question non-schizoid society. I do this very regularly.

@the girl above: Your case is not so uncommon. My ex was exactly like you and I must admit I found that to be quite attractive. She pretty much destroyed me emotionally back when my attachment issues were all scrambled. Didn't love her but was deeply attached to my beautiful sex toy that could hold deep convo. Did you ever regret your breakup or miss your exes?

^Guy above: Spot on but not quite. Alpha in a very hidden self-confident way. Though, most alphas are public and have a strong sphere of influence. Schizoids don't particularly influence anyone. I barely talk to anyone in the gym and see the weird looks I get. But when push comes to the shove I'm sure most confident schizoids can save their own skin (see Dexter Morgan, schizoid psychopath).

I never thought about my exes when I left. I also don't think about my family when I'm not around them, and never text or call them. It's hard for relatives to understand that it's not that I don't love or care about them - it's just that I have no interest in communicating and having a relationship apart from an occasional visit (once a year is about all I can handle). My mother's whole life and identity revolves around her children, so my lack of interest in maintaining a relationship and regular communication with the family really upsets her.

PerplexedMan wrote:@the girl above: Your case is not so uncommon. My ex was exactly like you and I must admit I found that to be quite attractive. She pretty much destroyed me emotionally back when my attachment issues were all scrambled. Didn't love her but was deeply attached to my beautiful sex toy that could hold deep convo. Did you ever regret your breakup or miss your exes?

^Guy above: Spot on but not quite. Alpha in a very hidden self-confident way. Though, most alphas are public and have a strong sphere of influence. Schizoids don't particularly influence anyone. I barely talk to anyone in the gym and see the weird looks I get. But when push comes to the shove I'm sure most confident schizoids can save their own skin (see Dexter Morgan, schizoid psychopath).

Well...I believe I am spot on, regardless. I believe most who are public and have a strong sphere of influence to be on the beta side. They are so insecure that they must grab the spotlight and gain influence over the vulnerable/gullible types (other beta types). But the strong alphas know what's going on here. You'll find most of them behind The Zeitgeist Movement.