Is it all underpinned by a low state of arousal?

It's sort of rare. I think if it happened 2x a year that might seem about right.

I think stress causes it, and causes sleep problems to where I feel heavy headed in the morning and throughout the day. The next day it's usually fine.
Its just odd that it bowls me over. Maybe HSP magnifies it.

Anywho, thanks for the heads up.

Btw, is 'holodeck" part of your eidetic imagery that might have? Just a guess.

EasyasPi wrote:It's sort of rare. I think if it happened 2x a year that might seem about right.

I think stress causes it, and causes sleep problems to where I feel heavy headed in the morning and throughout the day. The next day it's usually fine.
Its just odd that it bowls me over. Maybe HSP magnifies it.

From what I understand most mood disorders are like that. Some are years in between mood shifts. I'm still learning since finding out my dx this year. My dad's moods are every couple of weeks, and mine are a bit shorter in length and less intense (though I'm not on wrong meds...or any meds for that matter the way he was.) Mine are more energy spurts where I don't feel any emotion other than extreme anxiety when low, but my battery is either way overcharged or too low and I can't do anything then even if I wanted. Anhedonia is also a symptom of bipolar apparently, so I'm pretty much rolling my eyes when my doc says anything to do with a label other than using the label to find similar traits with others and seeing if I can figure out why it happened and how to fix it.

Btw, is 'holodeck" part of your eidetic imagery that might have? Just a guess.

Good guess as sci-fi is one thing I lean to, but I don't think I have any set eidetic imagery. The holodeck in Star Trek was a room the crew used to take breaks through random programs that felt almost real.

I used the holodeck as an example in therapy to describe my maladaptive daydreaming. Since it detachment through daydreaming is such a large part of me I decided to go with that as my username.

Hope it all works well, H. Maybe as "Easy as pie."

My wife's niece had a Dx of BPD a couple of years ago, and had DBT for 3 months, and it seemed to stabilizer her.

And I sort of thought it swung that way with the holodeck.

All in all I've had sleep problems, from paralysis to sleep walking, and my symptoms resemble sleep deprivation the most.

When *ephedra was still legal to buy, two caps would undo it within an hour.
* that might have been 20 years ago. No spring chicken here.

EasyasPi wrote:Hope it all works well, H. Maybe as "Easy as pie."

*Ba da dum*

EasyasPi wrote:My wife's niece had a Dx of BPD a couple of years ago, and had DBT for 3 months, and it seemed to stabilizer her.

My bf doesn't have any official dx aside from Asperger's. He's very against seeing a doctor, but I can get him to see mine on occasion due to him knowing it's for me. I generally don't talk much during these sessions and let him take the floor. He tends to spend the entire time complaining about people from his job, and mellow-dramatically tells my therapist how good we are for one another, how much he cares for me, I mean the world to him etc.

I know that sounds mean, but though he's not dx'd he's definitely NPD. I know I'm more a favorite pet to him than an equal. May sound messed up, but I really don't care. He knows I won't let him treat me lower, and we both know very few will put up with either of us in another relationship.

As for the borderline with him. I once a month or so ago rewatched the movie Hook. sent him a message saying "Good lord I didn't realize how much you act like him!" He was happy about it.

I sent him this saying "Hey look it's you once a week before I talk you off the ledge!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbv1DE0-JBE

He wasn't thrilled about that one, but instead of messaging me back called and started spewing expletives which ended in him saying "goddamit yeah that's me"

I dunno maybe histrionic is a better guess at him, but he's oddly easy for me to deal with. Either way he's a B clusterf#ck.

And I sort of thought it swung that way with the holodeck.

*Sigh gotta love how bipolar and borderline are so similar. Gonna post this here since many have messaged me about this. Sorry for this now being an extremely long reply, but felt it necessary for reference sake, so I don't have to retype it in a pm again.

Bipolar Disorder

Also known as manic depression, bipolar disorder causes swings in mood, energy, and the ability to function throughout the day.

Symptoms: Bipolar disorder is known for alternating periods of depression and mania that can last from days to months. During a manic, hypomanic, or depressed episode with "mixed features," symptoms of depression and mania happen at the same time.

During times of mania, symptoms might include:

An excessively happy or angry, irritated mood
More physical and mental energy and activity than normal
Racing thoughts and ideas
Talking more and faster
Making big plans
Risk taking
Impulsiveness (substance abuse, sex, spending, etc.)
Less sleep, but no feeling of being tired

During periods of depression, symptoms might include:

Drop in energy
Lasting sadness
Less activity and energy
Restlessness and irritability
Problems concentrating and making decisions
Worry and anxiety
No interest in favorite activities
Feelings of guilt and hopelessness; suicidal thoughts
Change in appetite or sleep patterns
Treatment: Most people with bipolar disorder need lifelong treatment to keep their condition managed. This usually includes medicine -- usually mood stabilizers, and sometimes also antipsychotics or antidepressants. Therapy can also help people with bipolar disorder understand it and develop skills to handle it.

^I do all of this.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder involves a longstanding pattern of swings -- in moods, relationships, self-image, and behavior (in contrast to distinct episodes of mania or depression in people with bipolar disorder). People with borderline personality disorder can experience overly strong emotional responses to upsetting life events and often try to hurt themselves. They often have chaotic relationships with people.

I have flat emotions when I do have them, don't hurt myself and tend to be the one who causes the chaos in a relationship. I tend to be the more sedated one. I will say though that I do gravitate to people who are more expressive...this is mainly to a) feed my want for a manic high and b) I'm unexpressive so it's somewhat refreshing to me as a change of pace.

People with borderline personality disorder are more likely to have other mental health problems, too. They are also more likely to have had some type of trauma as a child than people with bipolar disorder, although trauma in itself does not cause borderline personality disorder. They often also can have problems with addictions, eating disorders, body image, and anxiety.

The two can be comorbid, but meh if I have BPD at all it's a light version.

Symptoms: A person with borderline personality disorder has trouble controlling his thoughts and managing his feelings, and often has impulsive and reckless behavior. Here are the condition's main symptoms:

Again similar to bipolar

Frantic efforts to avoid feeling abandoned

Not in the slightest. My bf on the other hand freaks out if I walk too fast ahead of him.

History of unstable, intense relationships

See above response about relationships.

Tendency to view people and situations as either "all good" or "all bad"

Nope. I always assume there's at least a bit of gray. Bf is like this though.

Poor self-image

If someone finds me unattractive I don't care. It's like getting upset over someone saying that they like the color blue better than your favorite red color. Who cares? It's a preference.

Bf has bad self-image though, and doesn't appreciate that critique at all even slightly.

Impulsiveness (spending, sex, substance abuse, etc.)

bipolar does this.

Self-harm (e.g., cutting) or suicidal behavior

Nope.

Mood swings involving anger and depression, usually in response to stressful events or relationships

This can trigger a bipolar episode too. If it involves my work in a bad way or something that reminds me of my ex husband/mom I can have a rather bad episode.

Feelings of emptiness
Problems managing anger and unpleasant emotions
Paranoia

Also bipolar. Emptiness is more anhedonia though. When my bf talks of emptiness he sounds more like he's trying to find himself.

This was all copy pasted from webmd's bipolar vs borderline article-https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/borderline-personality-disorder-bipolar-disorder#1

If he's Aspie that should be easy to spot. They are literal in communication and any innuendos are lost over their heads. Narrow life habits in just a few dimensions. Never understands the real intention behind the person, unless everything is explained outright. I.e., They cannot understand the world from the heart.

If he's NPD he would berate you to smithereens if you tarnished his image.

Strangely it's possible to be both.

Whatever works for you, Miss H.

I'm married to an introvert, with a lot compassion for people. She's a real sweetheart. She looks up to me, maybe a bit too much, and I have a feeling I'm idealized by a generated image that depicts something, rather than somebody, making an anchor for her to hang onto. I suspect something "dependent" brewing under the hood. If so, then we might be two peas in a PD pod.

I think having a good sense of humor is the only thing that has saved me from going to the nuthouse.

EasyasPi wrote:If he's Aspie that should be easy to spot. They are literal in communication and any innuendos are lost over their heads. Narrow life habits in just a few dimensions. Never understands the real intention behind the person, unless everything is explained outright. I.e., They cannot understand the world from the heart.

If he's NPD he would berate you to smithereens if you tarnished his image.

Strangely it's possible to be both.

Oddly enough despite his Asperger's he's good with reading people, and expressing how he thinks others want him to act. Very good EXCEPT awkwardness. He does NOT understand awkward expressions at ALL. I typically have to rescue people from him during these moments. He does a lot of other Asperger's related things of course, but that's how he is with expressions.

My grandmother is a most likely pure NPD if there is such a thing. I never got much berating from her, but maaaan does she do it to everyone else. For some reason NPD's like me as an extension. My guy has an older brother who also acts NPD, who hated me at first due to my lack of expression at him talking about how important he was. Now he tries to be near me every family gathering. I dunno I don't tend to be too mean with people unless I feel it's really needed, and I'm a good listener.

I think my bf's fear of abandonment that goes with his BPD makes him a bit too wary of annoying me too much.

EasyasPi wrote:I think having a good sense of humor is the only thing that has saved me from going to the nuthouse.

A friggin' men.

Glad you and your's seem good together.

Ok... I think op meant interest when saying arousal, but I saw the examples with relationships and thought it was to do with simply that. Sorry if I misunderstood.

I do/did have intrests, but don't often follow through with pursuing them due to not feeling pleasure through accomplishment. I used to have pleasure in them, but now it's more like they are things that don't annoy me. I get bored easily, but don't see the point with a lot I used to enjoy.

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but for me at least it seems to be no feeling of reward. I'm curious if others feel any reward for doing things. All I can figure is I have a hard time making dopamine.

Holodeck wrote:Ok... I think op meant interest when saying arousal, but I saw the examples with relationships and thought it was to do with simply that. Sorry if I misunderstood.

I do/did have intrests, but don't often follow through with pursuing them due to not feeling pleasure through accomplishment. I used to have pleasure in them, but now it's more like they are things that don't annoy me. I get bored easily, but don't see the point with a lot I used to enjoy.

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but for me at least it seems to be no feeling of reward. I'm curious if others feel any reward for doing things. All I can figure is I have a hard time making dopamine.

That's interesting H, about dopamine. My grandmother was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic in '71. The drug of choice was a dopamine blocker that inhibited excess dopamine from binding to those receptors, dampening the paranoid episodes. There are many subsystems of dopamine and I wonder if those are under-performing, giving rise to the flip-side catatonic under-arousal.

From what I've seen in brain imaging studies of schizotypal and schizophrenia, it looks like a map of global disaster. Like structural deficits across the brain. I've yet to see one of a schizoid brain, but it would seem to follow that "half of schizophrenia" ( half = negative symptoms) then this brain should have similar features.

I've seen more image studies done on Borderlines, and it shows frontal lobe deficits and a larger amygdala.

All in all, if one could change the architecture of these brains to baseline, then you'd have baseline performance.

Bottom line: PDs look far more than being just a neurotransmitter problem. It looks like neurological damage, globally.

I wonder if it's a coincidence at all, that head trauma in some instances can create a classic schizoid individual, with no other deficits? Coincidence?

(Not.)

Whelp I'll let you all know after I see a neurologist. Will be a minute though since I'm having issues with my PCP and insurance.

It just might be holodeck projector that the good doctor finds in there.

And a little woman, sitting in the center, watching it all like being in a movie theater.

He's going to say,"You won't believe what I saw!"