How to tell my mother

First of all, let me start off by saying that I have not been diagnosed with SPD, but I seem to fit the criteria for it. Anyway…
Any suggestions on how to get my mother to give me more space? My mother is a very social and extroverted person and she can not understand why anyone would choose to be otherwise. According to her, it is unnatural for any human to want to be alone all the time. I have tried just telling her both that I like to be alone and that I like the quiet. To these statements I get the response that it is unnatural and that in the “real world” there is no “quiet”. She also asks me why I have to try so hard to be different from everyone else. I even tried telling her that I was schizoid. I showed her the criteria for a schizoid and when she read it she laughed and told me that it described me perfectly, so I told her that I thought that I was schizoid. She immediately shut down and got angry at me, as if she was taking it as a personal insult that her own child could think there was something wrong with herself. Again I got the lecture asking me why I could not act like a “normal human being”. I get the distinct impression that she is comparing me to my extroverted sister whose life goal seems to be to have fun and find a husband so that she can be Suzy Homemaker. I also got the lecture about how there is nothing wrong with me and I should stop trying to make myself different from everyone else.
I dislike these responses, but I am glad that I did not tell her that the real reason that I like to be alone is because it drains me to be around people (acting “normal” and mirroring their emotions as well as trying to make some up for myself is very taxing!). It seems that I also get depressed when I am not allowed to recharge myself often enough. Is that even possible, a depressed schizoid? Anyone else have this problem?
I would be content if she would just leave me alone and not try to mess with me. I do not know how to reason with her. Her brain does not seem to follow a logical thought process; instead, her arguments are always ruled by emotions and logic cannot break through her barriers. How can I effectively get my point across such a belligerent person?

You can't. Don't even try.

I do not need her to know that I am schizoid, I just want her to give me more space. The increase in forced socialization has given me even less time to recharge and I have become depressed. She seems to have caught on that I am depressed, but that only makes her want to croud me even more, (making me more depressed) after all, being around and talking to people should make me happy according to her twisted reasoning.

Just tell her that it's bothering you and that you need space.

My mother took it as an insult as well when I showed her the criteria. I honestly don't know why I bothered. Poor choice on my end.

Yes it was a poor choice for me to. I have tried that argument with her, but because she is ruled by lots of emotion and very little logic it does not seem to work. I usesd to just shut my door to block the world out, but she took it off it's hinges so that I could not "hide in your little hole"

My parents haven't gone that far.

Well, just listen to music. Or kill yourself.

lol

Lobo wrote:her arguments are always ruled by emotions and logic cannot break through her barriers. How can I effectively get my point across such a belligerent person?

If her arguments are emotive and she won't accept logic, use emotive arguments instead of logical ones.

Good luck figuring some out.

Lobo wrote:I would be content if she would just leave me alone and not try to mess with me. I do not know how to reason with her. Her brain does not seem to follow a logical thought process; instead, her arguments are always ruled by emotions and logic cannot break through her barriers. How can I effectively get my point across such a belligerent person?

Before I go too far. How old are you?

Anyway emotional blackmail seems like a good idea for starters. You might consider telling your mother it was she who made you this way, if you have some juicy stories of how she let you down you might want to throw those in for good measure.

Anyway you also asked about depression and that is fairly common among schizoids. Don't confuse not feeling emotions with not having them. The first doesn't neccesarily mean the second.

old