How to tell my mother

gbk wrote:Reading the responses in this thread makes me realize how good it is to have an introvert parent. My father never bothers me about getting friends, going out, blah, blah, blah. Nor does my mother, who is an extrovert, she just assumes I take after my father more. Though she does think we both are a little bit odd for wanting to be by ourselves so much.

Neither of my parental units bother me with "why do you not go out?" or "don't you ever want to get married?" etc...

Not that I would ever tell her (because then my whole family would know by the end of the hour) but I am pretty sure my mom would understand.
She does not like to go out much, she works in the yard most of the day, and does a lot of solitary activities.
But, she loves talking on the phone - only with her sisters, though.

I recently moved out and started living by myself, and I haven't bothered with changing mail-adress yet, so when I get appointed to a therapist, my mom will probably notice the letter in my mailbox and make a fuzz about it.

She is rather understanding though, so chances are she will find some relief when I attend to what she thinks is a problem. Me being asocial that is.

ive decided never to tell my mother, its just not worth it. let her think im wierd but having a label as scary sounding as schizoid will only make things worse.

to get people off your back most of the time ive resacently found that socalising for about 20 mins a day with them seems to work for my family. they seem to think im less wierd that way and don't get as distressed by my lack of 'normal' attachments, not sure why it works exactly as i haven't changed or anything but she seems more at ease now

stranger wrote:ive decided never to tell my mother, its just not worth it. let her think im wierd but having a label as scary sounding as schizoid will only make things worse.

to get people off your back most of the time ive resacently found that socalising for about 20 mins a day with them seems to work for my family. they seem to think im less wierd that way and don't get as distressed by my lack of 'normal' attachments, not sure why it works exactly as i haven't changed or anything but she seems more at ease now

I choose to watch movies at home with my parents. It's 2 hours where I am with them and there isn't an opportunity to talk much.

First, all schizoid have intrusive mothers, so I, for one, can sertainly relate to your problem.
Now, simply explain to your mother that the next time she forces you into a social event you will show your true indifferent nature to all. If she dares to call your bluf, make sure she wont make that mistake again.
Basically, just be yourself, and things will fall into place.

archie wrote:First, all schizoid have intrusive mothers

Where did you get that from? I'm very warry about sentences which beggin by "All the [include category of people here] are/have/do...".

Maybe I was over-generalizing, but schizoids usually have intrusive mothers and distant fathers. I dont remember where I've read that, but that seems to fit my profile, and I assume lobo's aswell.

archie wrote:First, all schizoid have intrusive mothers...

Not this one. My parents were fine with it. I gave them the info and they said, 'Yup, sounds like you.'

It used to also be said that 'all' kids with aspergers had cold, emotionally distant mothers. People look for causes of things because then they think they can correct the result. Some things just <i>are</i> and the best thing is to move forward, not look back at things that can't be changed or fixed.

What I don't understand are parents who've been around their child for twenty years and know that child's personality but then don't believe the kid is happy the way they are. It's not like the kid just changed their whole personality to match the criteria--it's the way they've been their whole life.

I think of my mother as intrusive (although that could just be from my POV coming out), but I would not say that my father is distant, he is just more willing to compromise with my lack of desire to be a social creature. As long as things are running smoothly, he does not particularly care what I do. Unfortunately, my mother is the alpha of our family. Go figure.

I told my mom and she seemed insulted, she started to get into this " wasnt I a good mother? when you were little i fead you organic baby food and made sure you were clean" ect and all that she then started to pray and asked me if I prayed, and then she blamed the devil and well you get the point, my dad was quite and tryed to tell me the healing powers of god, ok dont get me wrong I believe in god (not because of my parents) but I'm not getting into that, they made it sound like I was crazy