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How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby naps » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:04 pm

That's the problem. I look at people and all I see is warts.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby cataatta » Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:15 pm

Ask questions. But not too personal, because that might be perceived as creepy.
Try to maintain eye-contact. Not too much, though (that's also creepy/flirty? I guess it depends on whom you're talking to).
When you're too bored/apathetic/ too whatever to talk or look at them properly, nod a lot. People love when you agree with them.
Smile. If you want to be extra charming, do that smile that makes your eyes crinkle. It's basically smiling + squinting.
Try not to yawn. Or look at your phone when they babble. Or forget they were talking in the first place and walk away.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby Bluestar » Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:45 pm

To be honest, i dont.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby Aeva117 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 9:33 pm

I try to find something they're into that I actually enjoy talking about. Since animals are my life's work and I get very enthusiastic when discussing them (and most people have or had a pet), I tend to go for that. It usually makes me come off as compassionate, which puts people at ease. I have to be careful though because I can very easily veer into excitedly discussing gruesome surgeries or euthanasias which creeps them out.
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) all grown up
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby naps » Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:01 pm

I'm that way too. I can walk into the vet's office with my cat and easily chat with the other pet owners there. On the other hand, if I'm walking down the street and there's someone walking toward me with a dog, I'll usually say hi to the dog but ignore the person.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby Courtier » Thu Mar 30, 2017 11:04 pm

You don't find people at all interesting, OP?

I like watching and asking about people. Tend to steer conversations quickly towards motivations and questioning what they say are their drives, etc. It leaves you in a fairly good position to build rapport and interestingly I've found that if you set the tone for what I'll call 'deeper' conversation, not meaning to sound completely pretentious, that people stick to that domain fairly consistently, so that when you are sought out it's not so bad. Doing so, you leave a lot of room for light hearted jocular talk about their person or, if you're feeling in the mood, take it up a notch and make it serious and completely change the tone. You can have an entirely sarcastic conversation where only one side is in the loop which can be entertaining :) Another great aspect of this approach is that you seldom have to talk about yourself.

One thing I noticed as a kid is that sometimes I'd accidentally allow people mistake this for an opportunity to use me to vent which can be frustrating if there isn't an easy escape. Had to learn how to shut that down without making them feel like they couldn't talk to me more generally.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby umadcuzimstylin » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:14 pm

I dont.
"i dream therefore i am not"
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby perejil » Tue May 02, 2017 3:46 am

Ask them questions:

What do you want written on your tombstone?
What's the most important thing to teach a child?
If you could have a different career, what would it be?
What age did you like the best?
What's the best gift you ever received?
If you could star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be?
If you were the chef of a restaurant, what would be your signature dish?
What's the most expensive article of clothing you've ever owned?

...etc.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.

—Walt Whitman
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby muswrx » Fri May 05, 2017 4:42 pm

People are interested in me enough that I don't really have to pretend to be interested in them. Everyone I work with thinks I'm weird but obviously the kind of weird that makes them want to talk to me. Recently they've been trying to get me to use snapchat by saying, "It's good, you can see what everyone is up to!" and my response is just "I don't really care what you're all up to." but they just laugh and don't take it to heart.
I'm too charismatic for my own good. That sounds a bit narcissistic but it's basically true ahaha.
Anyway, I think Dalloway has the best advice, be the person you are when you are actually interested in something, rather than making it up.
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Re: How do you pretend to be interested in other people?

Postby I Dream 5 » Sun May 07, 2017 6:06 pm

Senor Blank wrote:I don't particularly like or trust other people and I know you probably don't either. So, how do you go about faking it? This is an important skill to have, but I'm not a very good actor.


I'm not a great actor. I can do it, but prefer not to. I find it's best to just be yourself. I'm really not interested in the overwhelming majority of people I run into.
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