Schizoids: Isn't Solitude Painful?

naps, you might want to read this and see if you still think that solitary confinement would be the way to go: http://solitarywatch.com/2013/03/11/voi ... han-death/

This is my experience:
I have spent time sharing a cell with others, and the problem with that is that they're hardly the kind of people I would have chosen to spend time with.
I have also spent time (much longer) in a single cell, which is certainly preferable (especially for SPD). However this was not really solitary confinement, since I had out-of-cell recreation time in communal areas - real solitary is being permanently separated.
The general run-of-the-mill criminal may prefer sharing as it would probably be with someone they can relate with, and they may lack the inner resources to be alone for extended periods. That sounds highly biased, but that's my observation.
Reading is a useful skill when isolated, so I ran a book group in the library and taught on a literacy scheme - the least I could do.

I'm not SPD but I am introverted. I have no problem being with people, all sorts of people, but they tire me out.

Solitude, in doses, is refreshing to me. I have a regular practice of spending time alone, and I go on silent/solitary retreats several times a year where I'm alone and in total silence for up to 14 days. It's a counter-balance to all the talking and people-time I must have in my regular daily life.

I have several people living with me right now. I sometimes think I'll go nuts since I'm either being engage in talk or hearing the talk around me. Talking long walks has become a new friend, because of that.

to what extent are you isolated?
Not so much anymore. I see my mother and grandparents once a week. Sometimes my only real friend comes by. I used to be a lot more isolated though.

What's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?
If you don't count saying hello to the girl behind the supermarket counter, months and months.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?
When I was a lot more schizoid than now. I didn't prefer to bet prefer to be alone. It was my only real choice. Any communication was a terribly painful ordeal. I had some communication thru forums.

Now I prefer to be alone with some communication like forums and chatting. Real communication hurts me, but the isolation hurts me to. I have no good choice. The isolation burns me. It's no good for me. But real communication makes me feel very uncomfortable. Even chatting and talking on forums feel uncomfortable. It's a no good situation.



and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

When I was severely schizoid I didn't feel the pain anymore. Now I do.

Solitude is only painful if you're sitting on thorns.

For me it certainly is, but then, lately I've been wondering if I really am schizoid. (I considered the possibility of aspergers but it just doesn't seem to fit as well... maybe I'm just getting better) I find that sometimes the loneliness outweighs the preference to be alone.

to what extent are you isolated?

As much as is affordable to me. One thing I have never found myself relating to too much is apathy, at least not strongly. So I care just enough to know that socialization is important and that I need to put up with it, but I'll keep it to strictly professional levels. I still spend most of my free time at home, alone. I avoid the great majority of kinds of socialization that are done "recreationally", and if someone seems insistent on "taking me out of the house", I'll cut ties with them.

what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

Not including internet contact? A week. If internet contact does count, then probably just half a day or so.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I have a preference for a much higher degree of isolation than most people would put up with. That also means that the small amounts of interaction with others are kept to my own terms.

do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

Definitely not immune. I particularly remember that, during the week of isolation I mentioned, I could feel myself starting to get a little too deep inside my head. That experience taught me that I did need my occasional contact back with reality to keep me from losing myself.

Immune

-- Mon Jul 17, 2017 4:24 am --

Immune

crystal_richardson_ wrote:
to what extent are you isolated?

I work from home. I don't do anything outside of the home unless it's for my job (though I work with others, I don't often have to deal with them outside of something like Skype), something like groceries, therapy (once a week) or on occasion I'll run errands for my boyfriend's job (his job is the kind where you're on call 24/7, and when I do this a few times a week I have to interact with more people).

crystal_richardson_ wrote:what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

Not sure the precise length, but it was over a month. This however did include internet contact.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

I'm a weirdo who's both a schizoid and an extrovert. For me it's more like a kid who likes candy, but gets a stomach ache fairly easily every time they eat a small portion of it. I'd lean more towards "interacting with others on one's own terms", but I feel it's a bit more difficult to explain than that.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

I've been both immune and in pain about it (different times obviously). I seem to be somewhat on the mend of my SPD, which also seems to mean being more in pain over it, but I'm coping.

Complete social isolation is detrimental on anybody's mental state... when I was unemployed after college it was unpleasant. In my regular work day I interact with circa 100 people a day - I never though I would be able to but funny I find it enjoyable since the level of interaction/disclosure is superficial (at least on my side). Privately I interact only with family.