Schizoids: Isn't Solitude Painful?

I guess.

Being alone can be difficult, but being around people is more difficult.
I think that the longest time I've been in isolation without seeing any people is for about a week. Normally I interact with people almost daily.
I tend to miss other people's company but still something stops me from contacting them.

naps wrote:I guess.

under ice wrote:

That's me.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:humans are social by nature. truly being cut off from others, no social contact, is the most injurious.

so i wonder about the schizoid personality, especially those who are apparently content in their schizoidness.

I think the preference for solitude comes from an extreme need for self-reliance and an aversion to being dependent on others. Being in the company of others can be fine as long as they don't make demands or threaten one's sense of self-reliance, in my opinion and experience.

but perhaps my wonderment stems from ignorance or presumption: are you really cut off? do you know the true meaning of being isolated?

I've never gone into the mountain for days/weeks/months on end to be in complete isolation. That is probably true isolation, and it appeals to me in theory but not in practice.

Questions:

to what extent are you isolated? what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

What do you mean by contact with an actual human being? Do shopkeepers count? How about people I pass in the street while taking a walk?

I've shut myself in my house for up to two days without leaving. I heard my neighbor's voices and I may have watched some youtube videos or read or posted on a forum. So I guess that is in a sense human contact. I find it comforting to be able to watch youtube videos or even hear other people near me. If I were completely isolated in a forest or mountains with absolutely no sign of human beings anywhere, I think that would drive me a bit mad.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

I think but I don't know that its a need for self-reliance and an avoidance of the interdependency of human relationships.

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

I have felt lonely before when I was in a different country and knew no one there. This was before the Internet got big so there were no forums or youtube. It was unpleasant for awhile but I eventually did make one friend. All I needed was one friend though, that was plenty for me. Now, I am fine with only interacting on the Internet although I'm trying not to get too comfortable in this isolation and trying to force myself to interact. Not because I feel lonely, but its more like forcing myself to eat broccoli for my own benefit.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:to what extent are you isolated?

Nowadays I work from home with very little interaction, and I don't have any friends that I see or that I could see in person, except maybe once a year or two. But I'm regularly in contact with family IRL and with a couple of friends online. I never had any pets.

what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

Many nonconsecutive periods of one to two or maybe three weeks alone in my apartment, throughout my 20s. I usually tried to buy as much food at once as I could. There were times when I had some kind of interaction online (forum, email, text messaging, etc), and there were times when I had none (just books, music, TV, single-player games, computer projects, wikipedia, etc).

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

"Interacting with others on one's own terms" may or may not be healthy depending on how little you're willing to compromise (and how little you can actually afford to compromise), but in and of itself it doesn't sound like a personality disorder to me.

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

I'm not immune. Something in my brain is either broken or missing. The need and the tendency to isolate were always there, but it was something I had to come to terms with rather than pure inertia.

From time to time I need to remind myself of why I withdraw from everything like I do. And it's because trying to be among people only makes me feel more unbalanced and disconnected. I don't have a purpose for them, and they don't have a purpose for me (or when they do, it just doesn't seem acceptable to me, and it feels completely wrong to even play along).

Others has already answered the same as I would've, with other words.

I would believe that every other schizoid here is vastly different from one another. The schizoid dx is the official one that I've recieved from my shrink, but will be transfered to the psychiatric ward for further evaluation for other pd's/illnesses. My shrink has not evaluated this further but has generally weighed between bipolar and aspd. A risk-taking, mentally gasolined schizoid.

naps wrote:No. I could call any number of people right now and make plans to hang out. I could also stick sewing needles underneath my toenails.

Oh my god. You're me.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:to what extent are you isolated? what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

I'm isolated when I get home. I have a job. I have to work with people. But sometimes just seeing other people is extremely annoying. I've had maybe a month of absolutely no contact... and the problem there is I start worrying about money... food... etc. I do become different over the duration, but I think the person I would be without having to worry about such things is different from the person I become when the world sort of forces me to take actions.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

Either or, probably varying between individuals. Schizoid is rooted in the word schism, as in separate or split. Schizophrenic is kinda like split mind or split from reality. Schizoid is more like split from society or from social life. A bunch of people get labeled this way and in reality they are actually kinda different. I definitely prefer dealing with people on my terms, and I definitely like being isolated for long times just fine. It's not painful. It's honestly extremely relaxing. And if we somehow removed the material components from it, I'd gladly spend the next few years in isolation writing. Maybe it would be worth something, maybe it wouldn't. That isn't what matters. I just actually like writing, reading, researching, thinking, plotting, considering. I live in my own head. It's better there.

I live on my own now and make attempts to socialise through various activities that get me out of my apartment, although I wouldn't call any of the people I meet actually friends.
Being SPD, even when I was married I didn't share the innermost 'me' with either of my wives, even though I regarded them as my only friend at the time.
I think too much solitude is dangerous psychologically, in the same way that too much anything is unhealthy - but I'm not sure how to measure too much.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:humans are social by nature. truly being cut off from others, no social contact, is the most injurious.

Depend on the persons, you have interacted with. If your social network, is mostly someone with personal disorders of their own, it can be a reliefe.
to me it is a gift, to be able to step aside, and do my own thing.

so i wonder about the schizoid personality, especially those who are apparently content in their schizoidness.

but perhaps my wonderment stems from ignorance or presumption: are you really cut off? do you know the true meaning of being isolated?

For me: no! Im not isolated, i have internet, tv, my dog, etc. All i can say, is that i feel the best, when im alone and by myself.

Questions:

to what extent are you isolated? what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

Not long. I need to buy food, and i need to walk my dog. I meet a lot op people everyday, but i don't know then, neither do i want to.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

You could call it that, but in the end, we do not have a choice. It is not some image we try to make for ourself. Who does not interact on ones own terms?

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

At some point yes. But not any longer. When i started to isolate myself, and used to have like 50 friends, it was painfull. Now it think it will be the opposite. Im not immune, there is a bliss in loneliness. It feels good, like deep meditation.

Why do you ask?