Schizoids: Isn't Solitude Painful?

crystal_richardson_ wrote:to those who have answered:

do you own a dog or cat by any chance?

some people have human-like relationships with their pets (built on delusion) that would probably be sufficient to trick the mind into thinking it's getting social stimulation so that would have to be absent as well in a prolonged isolation.

I have a cat. I remember a period years ago when I didn't have a cat. It was very difficult. I used to hang around the pet shop in the mall. There was also a friendly cat at the end of my street who would let me pet him.

crystal_richardson_ wrote:some people have human-like relationships with their pets (built on delusion) that would probably be sufficient to trick the mind into thinking it's getting social stimulation so that would have to be absent as well in a prolonged isolation.

Schizoid or not, we're human, and tend to use verbal communication rather than butt sniffing in social situations, so there goes that theory.

Also, the relationship is not delusional. We know they're animals and they're not on Facebook. But the relationship goes far beyond "feed me/there ya go".

There is also love. That's right, I said it. In the past thirty years I have not once loved anything that didn't walk on all fours, but at least I know what love is.

to what extent are you isolated? what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

If we're counting going to the store as a breach of isolation, a couple of weeks. Aside from small doses like that... a month or two?

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

For me, it's a bit of both, like a 80/20 mix of just preferring being alone to interacting on my own terms.

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

I'm not sure, to be quite honest. It's not painful. Never has been. If I were a motivated person, I could easily be fully isolated with no worries, since I would have my work to keep me company, but being aware of being unmotivated and alone is uncomfortable.

evawright wrote:It's the lack of solitude that's painful for those of us with SPD

qft
Never being alone is hell. I live in florida, so places like disney are the go-to for a lot of people, and it's a nightmare. Actually enjoying the experience is unfathomable to me, and the only reason I go is for my friends.

Not sure if I am schizoid, never been diagnosed or anything but definitely have many of the traits.

Anyhoo, I think the longest I was without any human contact was about two weeks. I didn't leave my apartment except to pick up the mail. That was after college and I didn't live around family. I took two weeks of vacation and just stayed in my apartment reading, writing, watching TV, etc. I had a couple conversations with my mom on the phone which was mostly her talking and me pretending to listen I can't get away with not talking to my mom, at least, once a week or she will send the search parties after me I did not feel any problem spending all that time alone. If I had felt lonely or bad about it, I would have left the apartment. I didn't even go to the grocery. I had enough food to last that entire time.

Now, I live closer to family as they have all moved to the town I live in My brother went to college here and stayed, my sis moved here for medical school and stayed, and my mom and step-dad moved here because that's where the kids were. I have to see my mom about once a week. I usually stop by her place after work once maybe twice a week. It's a free, home-cooked meal so why not. I see my sister and brother much less. Maybe once or twice a month even though they live close. I interact with people at work. I work three 12 hour shifts so have fours days off each week. I usually spend these days alone and don't have any issues being by myself.

Yes, I do have two cats and I like spoiling them, but I don't NEED pets. After my last cat died, I didn't have a cat for about three to four years and it did not cause me to change my routine so it's not like having a cat 'replaces' my need for human interaction...else I would have spent more time with people during those three to four years which did not happen. I just don't have a need for human interaction. My cats are not a human replacement. I have them because I like cats. I have liked cats since I was a young child. A dog is too needy for my liking. My male cat is fairly needy for a cat but no where near as needy as a dog. I like dogs too but don't think I would like to own one because they would need too much of my time and demand affection all the time. My cats love affection and to be held but they also know when to leave me alone. I don't think a dog would respect my 'me time' like my cats do So I don't NEED to own a cat, I just LIKE to own a cat.

Solitude is bliss
My personal record for this year is 41 days. Back in the days of my youth, I tried the wilderness kick and managed 178 days. My family worries if I push it past 30 days.