Schizoids: Isn't Solitude Painful?

by **saudade7** » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:30 am

Solitude is best, but it needs to be near 100%. Limbo place is almost worse than the other extreme, because you have to be just engaged enough to be unable to retreat, yet the external stimulation somehow both too high (causing the need to escape) and sub par (causing a need for greater amusement/restlessness).

Sometimes I will actually think socializing is going to be better, that I just need a certain crowd or just need to sort my mind to have a different attitude towards it, and sometimes I think I should condition myself to be oriented towards it before my life is spent, just 'cause. In the end there's always disappointment and mental functioning decreases significantly.

I don't think I really 'exist' during times I'm not alone/detached.

I am not Schizoid, but i relate to a lot of the symptoms.

Being alone does not cause me pain. It is how i recharge my batteries. I talk to people on my own terms, and often fall off of the conversation when i get bored.

The only negatives to isolation is it perpetuates my fantasy world, in which i have a lot of violent and aggressive thoughts.

by **Vink** » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:22 am

Painful? No, though an excessive amount of solitude is still unhealthy. My experience of it the only time I'd consider I actually got isolated is that I started being too aware of my own thoughts. I started feeling detached from everything physical, including my own body. I specifically remember at one point getting so desperate that I pretty much stormed out of my house, and just seeing people walking around immediately calmed me down.

I've never come close to isolation that deep anymore. So, as it is now, I enjoy my moments of solitude. I like not staying to chit chat with people or interact in any sort of way outside of the necessary, and just get home and do my stuff alone. The more alone time I get now, the better.

by **Aikenhead** » Thu Nov 30, 2017 5:50 pm

Crystal_Richardson_ wrote:humans are social by nature. truly being cut off from others, no social contact, is the most injurious.

I disagree. For the vast majority of history, humans had to be social to survive, so it's largely still wired into us. However, we’ve evolved to the point where we display far higher levels of social independence than other primates – if humans, as a group, were “social animals” there wouldn’t be so many exceptions to the rule. Many people have wandered off into the wilderness, or holed themselves away in their homes with no need for any form of social interaction - without negative consequences. While loneliness can be crippling for, say widowers, others never cohabit again and live decades in their own, self-made isolation - without negative consequences.

The longest, non-interrupted period of isolation I've experienced was between 2010 and 2012, when I spend over 20 months without any kind of social interaction, in person or online, and my mental and physical health improved significantly during that period.

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

I can’t speak for schizoids, and I don’t consider myself “disordered” in anyway, but isolation has evidently been the best form of comfort I can offer myself. I have no desire to interact with people in any typical social setting, though I have just started posting on this forum.

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

Never.

by **In-Some-Niak** » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:50 am

It seems like people who are more extroverted just can't fathom that there are people who simply do not need others. It's like they want to convince you that, "No, you really do need others - you just don't know it." Like they are selling a product and they can't tolerate the fact that you are not interested in said product.

I think part of that is the need to validate their own needs and preferences. It's the same in, say, the MGTOW community if someone doesn't want to get married, those who are married insist that you NEED to get married too. You want to get married. Maybe you just wish you could but can't because you're a loser! Yeah, that's it. Whatever makes them feel like they made the right choice by getting married. Even though many of them are absolutely miserable and in denial. Misery demands company.

No, there really are people who don't need others. Sorry if you don't like the idea that some of us can go completely solo.

I imagine Suckerberg is mad that we're not on Farcebook, and Apple is upset that we don't need the latest iPhone to text into all day - staring into it like the rest of the zombies. Posting on instagram and Tweeting... ugh. The ones selling these products definitely would like to convince everyone that they NEED social interaction.

by **asrl** » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:28 pm

crystal_richardson_ wrote:to those who have answered:

do you own a dog or cat by any chance?

some people have human-like relationships with their pets (built on delusion) that would probably be sufficient to trick the mind into thinking it's getting social stimulation so that would have to be absent as well in a prolonged isolation.

I have a dog that keeps me company. He is basically my everything. He helps me relieve my stress and encourages me to go outside and exercise. He's the perfect friend. He is quiet, affectionate, upbeat, and we both shower each other with unconditional love.

by **ApprenticeOfGames** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:02 am

crystal_richardson_ wrote:humans are social by nature. truly being cut off from others, no social contact, is the most injurious.

so i wonder about the schizoid personality, especially those who are apparently content in their schizoidness.

but perhaps my wonderment stems from ignorance or presumption: are you really cut off? do you know the true meaning of being isolated?

Questions:

to what extent are you isolated? what's the longest sustained time you've been completely isolated from human contact, that is not seeing, talking to, or being in the presence of actual humans whatsoever?

Uh well i live with my parents in a house so my max alone time is probably 14 hours or so since eventually i need to eat and my parents will be downstairs. However i have spent probably close to a week or even 2 alone before. This was when my parents went on holiday and my older brothers were out most of the time so yea...

is schizoidism really a preference for isolation; or interacting with others on one's own terms?

I simply prefer being in my own company and interacting with others doesn't appeal to me even with my own terms i could easily cancel and not care but others will and that is part of the reason i have lost even friends that were really close to me as a child, either that or interacting with them became too much trouble for the effort such as them moving house or school or country

and finally: do you know the pain of isolation? have you been isolated enough to feel this pain or are you immune?

I am to young/inexperienced to know true isolation but i have felt what i define as isolation and the pains that comes with it, well i think i did at least. The feelings i feel i can never describe or sometimes even name them unless they are a like common strong emotion of mine such as anger or frustration or rage. I can;t answer this question great can i? Well my brain tells me that at least but it swears it has experienced what it considers isolation but nothing else helpful

Side note: I think i have a fake persona that i unconscious show to people but i can't tell anymore so it must has developed as a child if its truly there. Right now i am seeing myself halfway between being an aspie and halfway between a schizoid. Its not helping things this confusion of mine i say. I unconsciously register myself as not an aspie but it fits me in some ways just like schizoids fits me in the missing ways

Life is just a drag so why not spend it alone is what my cynical mind is saying right now how fun

by **evawright** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:01 am

It's the lack of solitude that's painful for those of us with SPD

by **wickerwoman** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:01 am

Not really for me. Your mileage may vary. Some people are social by nature, some aren't.

I'm reasonably cut off. I work with people but have no relationships that are not strictly professional. I've managed to go 14 days without leaving the house or speaking to anyone and that was pretty awesome to tell the truth. I tend to spend the entire year looking forward to the Christmas break when I can have two whole weeks on my own. Every year there's at least one do-gooder who tries to get me to come to their place for Christmas and I have to come up with some lame excuse when really I just want to say "The best thing about Christmas is not having to see anyone for days at a time."

I've never felt isolated or lonely in my life. I go miles out of my way to avoid being invited to spend time with people so why would I then feel bad about it? I have opportunities for socialising and I choose not to because I don't enjoy it.

by **N1ghty** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:41 pm

I need my solitude like fish needs water. However I would like to connect with someone, to be accepted and understood for what I am, not having to feign normalcy (and fail) with everyone. It's exhausting and uncomfortable.

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