Difference between Schizoid PD and being reclusive + ADHD?

I'm a 22 year old college student. I'm not sure if I have schizoid PD. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD at a very early age. I had less and less friends as I got older. Now I have none.

I checked to see what were the criteria for having schizoid PD, and I have all of the symptoms except for being asexual and having the dissociative/despersonalization aspects of it. I thought I was asexual at one point, but it turns out I just have low sex drive and they're not really the same thing
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Intro about me:

Dissociative/despersonalization: It seems like a lot of people with SPD have the problem of hating looking in the mirror,having their photo taken, or looking at pictures of themselves. I definitely don't like pictures of me, because it's hard to recognize me in them. But I really don't have trouble with memory or recognizing other people- it's easy. I'm not sure if I lose track of time, because I always have a clock on me and they're everywhere these days.

Sexuality:I'd be lying if I said I was asexual. I find some women attractive, but I do have a low sex drive. If I was in a relationship, I'm sure I'd be the one who would refuse to "put out" instead of the other way around. I really wouldn't care if I went long periods without having sex with my partner, whereas with other people it would be a deal breaker. I do want to be in a sexual relationship and maybe have kids, but no other relationships outside of that. So really, less is more. I just hope it would be someone who isn't clingy and doesn't mind being with someone who's distant.

There was one time when I was 16 when I went to one of my old friend's birthday party. I asked him "Do you ever feel really alone even when you're around other people?" My friend gave me a really confused look like he thought I was crazy

I think all human beings crave human interaction, but for me a lot less. Being among other people without actually getting to know them is good enough for me most of the time, but solitary confinement is brutal and most people wind up going insane from it. I'm not sure even you could survive it. The reason I'm saying this is because schizoid PD might not be as clear cut/extreme as wanting no relationships/sex- period. It could be that you just want a lot less than most people. I wouldn't mind having kids and a wife/girlfriend, but any more than that and I would hate my life. Having a bunch of friends is too much effort they will suck away my life. I would be sure to get both me and my partner tested for diseases before having sex. Sex is too risky without it.
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Back to the original question:
I know for a fact that I have a very flat affect, I don't have much emotion or least have a hard time feeling/understanding my own, and have a difficult time feeling any enjoyment and I don't seem to care much about anything. I don't want to be seen and I want to stay off the map, so to speak. So, if I don't have any issues with memory or recognizing people and still am sexually attracted to people, would I still be considered schizoid or am I just a very reclusive person with ADHD? (I would attribute the lack of pleasure to the ADHD)

*edit: it seems like a lot of people have ADHD on this board.

Also, are there any guides to help schizoids with whatever problems they have?

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the past too, but the doctors were wrong. As my personal experience, my diagnosis was wrong by the following fact: I had no problem focusing on subjects (in fact, I have hyperattention), but lack of interest in them.

This question you put on your topic is very complicated. I know several people with ADHD, and one pattern I found in all of them was EXTROVERSION and EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY. As a schizoid, I never presented any of these personality traits.

Probably you only have ADHD.

I wouldn't say that there is or there isn't a specific "difference between SPD and ADHD with a reclusive personality". Those are different domains of classification. Not mutually exclusive, but not interchangeable either.

So "what are you"? I'd say that "you're young". I don't think it's a good idea to look for anything resembling a definitive answer at your age if that answer doesn't already feel completely natural and obvious to you. If you have to ask, then it's better to leave room for open-endedness. Don't commit to a family of your own and whatnot just yet, but don't commit to a life of isolation either. Commit to figuring out which one works best and to what degree, instead. That's my advice.

I understand that you're actually not looking for a definitive answer, but the reason why I'm saying this anyway is because it's pretty much what a personality disorder is. It's the conclusion that certain fundamental things about your personality are definite and basically unchangeable. Which, apart from clear-cut cases, comes down to a decision (yours or a mental health professional's) rather than an actual underlying fact about you. You're already familiar with the theme and its general relevance to you. That's what matters most, because there's no treatment anyway, just self-reflection. And nothing you could call a guide either, that's for sure.

Now, ADHD on the other hand, is a complicated thing, and you need to learn how it affects you, and how to deal with it, and so on and on, but, there's medication for it. I know for me it sure makes a difference, and the difference is plain and clear. What's complicated about it for me (and for most people, I think) is managing the side effects.

DDK wrote:I know several people with ADHD, and one pattern I found in all of them was EXTROVERSION and EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY.

...perhaps it's because those are the ones that are easy to notice to those who don't understand it?

Senor Blank wrote:-----------------------------
Back to the original question:
I know for a fact that I have a very flat affect, I don't have much emotion or least have a hard time feeling/understanding my own, and have a difficult time feeling any enjoyment and I don't seem to care much about anything. I don't want to be seen and I want to stay off the map, so to speak. So, if I don't have any issues with memory or recognizing people and still am sexually attracted to people, would I still be considered schizoid or am I just a very reclusive person with ADHD? (I would attribute the lack of pleasure to the ADHD)

*edit: it seems like a lot of people have ADHD on this board.

Also, are there any guides to help schizoids with whatever problems they have?

I would say the broader question is what do you see yourself as and what you want to do with your life?

I'm seeing a theme that you want to have children or a family and that is raising some question because Schizoids don't generally have families?

And you want to have a partner some day, as a part of having that family?

Being diagnosed with Schizoid and/or ADHD and/or being reclusive, of course, doesn't necessarily negate the desire nor ability to have a family.

Rather than box yourself in to one or two or three diagnoses and be pressured to fit those criteria, I would recommend focussing more on what your own individual struggles are, as well as your goals and desires, and working at reconciling those.

You may well be diagnosable with Schizoid and/or ADHD but that does not in any way negate your individual goals or desires. At the worst, it may just present some obstacles. But that's what therapy is for, to get past those obstacles and achieve what you want. No diagnosis is a death sentence, I don't think. Just something to overcome, but if there is something you want strongly enough, I think its worth striving for, rather than succumbing to a fate "written in stone."

MotherRussia wrote:I'm seeing a theme that you want to have children or a family and that is raising some question because Schizoids don't generally have families? And you want to have a partner some day, as a part of having that family?

Being diagnosed with Schizoid and/or ADHD and/or being reclusive, of course, doesn't necessarily negate the desire nor ability to have a family.

Even sociopaths can have families. It happens all the time. I also read that some schizoids have a soft spot for animals and sometimes children or plants or close family members. I want only two or three people in my life- at most. I know that would be strange to most people.

MotherRussia wrote:Rather than box yourself in to one or two or three diagnoses and be pressured to fit those criteria, I would recommend focussing more on what your own individual struggles are, as well as your goals and desires, and working at reconciling those.

I have a hard time knowing what I like. I know what I don't like, but that's not the same. My mom recommended I go to college, and that's what I did. I don't really know why I'm in college. Anything seems like a good idea at this point. Apparently getting a degree can get you a high paying job, especially in Science. The only benefit of having a high paying job for me is maybe being able to raise a family, otherwise I'd just be a janitor like I work as a summer job. Nothing material is really important for me. Most things of the I like are cheap because I'm poor- like books. The only expensive thing I might want is a family. Everything else seems kind of pointless and empty and a waste of space. I don't see the purpose.

Do you have any advice on how to care more about things or at least understand yourself better?

Senor Blank wrote:
Do you have any advice on how to care more about things or at least understand yourself better?

Do you have a sense of what makes you content?

I think its a good thing not to be too involved with the material world. You like books, so you probably like intellectual pursuits and imagination, etc. You are very lucky then. Those things are basically free.

Its probably a good idea to finish college with a science degree, since you are already there. Its not bad to have something to fall back on just in case, and since you're halfway there, might as well.

You are 22 and at 22 a person has barely left the nest and is still coming in to their own, developing independence, etc. I'm a bit older than you and still am trying to get independence. Now its amazing how long childhood lasts. I'm not saying this to be condescending and hope it doesn't sound that way. I don't know your experience, but am speaking from my own experience and people I know, and it seems to be something in this generation.

My advice is to give it time and resist being forced into anything you don't like. Spend a lot of time navel gazing and finding out what makes you content, while at the same time preparing for a future since times are a bit hard right now and having an employable degree will probably serve you well in the future.

Senor Blank wrote:Do you have any advice on how to care more about things or at least understand yourself better?

I'd say approach it like an experiment. Nobody can see black holes, but they're pretty much accepted as fact today, and scientists know a lot about them. It's all through indirect observation. Black hole theory explains all the signs they observe much better than any other alternative. That's how I approach the issue of "what I want" and "what I like". Experiments, observation, signs, patterns and analogies. Eventually the observations become consistent (though it can definitely take a very long time).

Edit: I'd say don't make life decisions based on "what you really like" though, even if you can figure it out. Make those decisions based on what you don't dislike instead. You don't want to be forced to "decide" what you do or don't like and then have to stick to it indefinitely. Preferences change. There's no worse obligation than the obligation to feel a certain way about something.

Whether you're Schizoid PD or reclusive + ADHD may depend on how you're assessed.
If the assessor is sure of their opinion they'll put you in one bucket or the other, but often they're wary of being thought opinionated (and being wrong) and will say that you have this trait and that trait, and so hedge their bets.
Often it depends on the mood you're in when you answer their questions - less likely in extended sessions, of course - but possible if it's one of those 1-2 hour things.

I'm just like you in the asexual-or-not thing, and have always been able to take it or leave it, often leaving it for very long periods - which was the root cause of the failure of both my marriages.
But I liked most of the other aspects of being married.

How your life develops depends on how you develop. Being diagnosed one thing or another doesn't have to stop your development. Being SPD, or anything else, doesn't shut the book.