How to function better in day to day life.

Hey guys,

So I was diagnosed a couple of months ago as covert. It changed nothing for me, just helped me accept myself better for who I am, which was nice. But since then I've become more aware of my actions and I suppose I'm not dealing with it so well.

To give a bit of background info, i'm not much of a daydreamer. Its just not my thing. To occupy my time instead I train a lot. I'm on the national squad for my sport and it involves training around 20 hours a week. Im in college and there is a national squad on campus too and I live with the other guys on it. We have around 12-15 in our training group (i live with 3 of them). The group mentality is to do all of the training together as a group (obviously ha). And obviously that doesnt work for me. I can manage to do my morning training session with the group but the mid day or evening sessions I will always try do by myself. Im not always successful though and often end up doing the group sessions.

Most people in the group are extroverts and love to talk and all the usual normal person stuff, and I cant cope with it at all. I can fake it and keep them happy, but the second I leave training I end up feeling quite sad and lose the ability to function. I end up skipping training sessions because I cant cope with the thought of dealing with people, or else Ive had to deal with people and im just too tired to go training.

The people in the group are all nice, but I need more alone time than my current situation will allow, and training is the only thing (that I know of) that I enjoy so I would like to be able to do more.

I guess the point of this is to see what yere opinion is. Is there a way to cope with it better and just train more with the group, or how to deal with people without it destroying my mentality and ability to function.

Thanks in advance

Just tell them that you prefer to train/practice alone if at all possible. I mean, hopefully it's not a team sport because you can't exactly practice things like soccer or team rowing on your own. You don't have to tell them why other than you would just prefer it, or, if pressed further, that you can't handle practicing with the team all the time.

Good luck with it!

You don't daydream? I thought all schizoids daydreamed a lot. That's interesting. Maybe it's part of being covert.

Just try to train alone like @smirks said or maybe invite just a few people to small training groups if you're worried about losing a connection with your team. I can see how several group training sessions a day would be draining. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all to want to only deal with one group session per day. Even a lot of non-schizoids would find that difficult.

Yea when I was younger I used to daydream a lot, but as I got older I started noticing it was becoming a problem so I managed to stop doing it. Somehow.

Thanks for the replies guys. I explained the whole schizoid thing to my coach a couple of weeks ago, and in fairness she took it well. But she thinks its a choice that i want to be alone, to me its more of a necessity to avoid feeling like $#%^. So when I try go do things by myself she still tries to keep me with the group and she tries to stop me from "isolating myself". I understand her perspective as a normal person, but I still cant handle it.

Im on a training camp for the next 2 weeks (so breakfast and dinner and 3x sessions as a group a day) which is going to be tough. I got injured yesterday so I cant train for the first week because I got stiches. Its honestly a relief to have a week to myself.

Thanks again for the positivity, I need some

slimsally wrote:You don't daydream? I thought all schizoids daydreamed a lot. That's interesting. Maybe it's part of being covert.

I doubt it. I'm as "overt" as it gets (I don't really believe in that kind of distinction as something significant in that sense), and my capacity for imagination is mostly limited to random and seemingly unrelated (but sometimes repetitive or obsessive) fragments of thoughts, sounds, images, feelings and sensations getting linked to each other. Imagination has to be fed to me, so to speak. Otherwise it's formless and it just drifts away aimlessly, and I have relatively little control over it. I can enjoy a movie, but I can't stomach a novel, and I have struggled a lot with boredom in my life.

I think that's probably close to the root of my mental peculiarities in general.

doogle wrote:Im on a training camp for the next 2 weeks (so breakfast and dinner and 3x sessions as a group a day) which is going to be tough. I got injured yesterday so I cant train for the first week because I got stiches. Its honestly a relief to have a week to myself.
Thanks again for the positivity, I need some

I'm not schizoid but I am introverted. And even just as a introvert, this sounds horrible to me. I can't be around people all day and all night. I AM around people all day in my work, intensely with people, so I need to be alone, or mostly alone with family, at night. Even then, I take breaks throughout the day and get totally alone. I have to, for my own mental and emotional health.

I'm glad you told your coach. Keep emphasizing that you need to have alone time to do your best performance as that's a part of your personality. People who aren't introverts or schizoids don't really get it - how could they when they looooove to be with people.

As I mentioned in a reply earlier, I told my coach about the whole schizoid thing about a month ago. She tried to understand but she couldn't grasp it, and she was honest about that. She did say that she was okay with it though and at the start she was encouraging me to be who I am and be happy with it.

Then we had a chat during the week about setting targets and goals for the year ahead (in sporting terms). She was going about it the standard way, pick a target, achieve it, be satisfied, continue. I stopped doing this because I dont get any satisfaction from it, instead I just try be my best day to day because that I can manage.

She tried to have the conversation in a public setting in front of friends, and I said in a casual way, that I didn't want to waste her time by having the conversation then because I couldn't be honest in front of the people around.

I think she misinterpreted what I said, because now she wont talk to me, and ironically has started acting like a schizoid person. Talking to me only out of necessity, nothing personal, limited interaction with me, etc. Not her normal attitude at all.

She is the only meaningful relationship I have left and I'm pretty sure I've screwed it up completely and I have absolutely no clue how to go about repairing it. Had a panic attack the other day after having a two word conversation with her that made me realize I had screwed things up.

Any advice on this would be great because I am completely lost, might start a new thread on the topic?...

My initial response is to say that this could possibly be remedied by a little communication.

doogle wrote:I think she misinterpreted what I said, because now she wont talk to me, and ironically has started acting like a schizoid person. Talking to me only out of necessity, nothing personal, limited interaction with me, etc. Not her normal attitude at all.

She is the only meaningful relationship I have left and I'm pretty sure I've screwed it up completely and I have absolutely no clue how to go about repairing it. Had a panic attack the other day after having a two word conversation with her that made me realize I had screwed things up.

You could be misinterpreting this. Note what I put in boldface. You don't sound 100% sure of why she is behaving like this. She could have misinterpreted you when you said "I didn't want to waste her time by having the conversation then because I couldn't be honest in front of the people around."

If she said she "couldn't grasp" the schizoid thing, then it's very reasonable that she thought what you said was rude and didn't at all tie it to the schizoid thing. A lot of times people say things to be polite and accepting. She may have been totally perplexed about your disclosure. The concept of SPD is nor necessarily an easy thing to grasp for some nons. Many people can't wrap their heads around the loner mentality and other things that go along with it. Did you specifically state that your discomfort with having a conversation in front of a group was part of your disorder? Maybe you assumed she would understand what you meant, but if she didn't she might have taken it as rudeness.

Unfortunately, probably the best thing to do would be to talk with her as soon as possible (before her misconceptions of you sink in deeper) and explain that you didn't mean to be rude, it's just part of your Dx. Maybe she looked up "schizoid" and what stuck with her were things like "Blunted affect" or "emotionally cold". Goddamn internet.

So have a talk with her. Clear the air. Explain why such a conversation would be difficult for you in front of others. I certainly can relate to that. I don't even like talking on the phone if there's someone around to hear me.

I'm guessing it was just a misunderstanding . Maybe on both your parts.

Thanks for the different perspective naps.

You are 100% correct, I'm not really sure what I did to make her so angry, I can just tell I did. She did look up the wiki page and I would be pretty sure you are right in saying

"what stuck with her were things like "Blunted affect" or "emotionally cold". Goddamn internet."

I guess I'm a little afraid to talk, because if it goes bad I'm out of options. I wouldn't even know how to start that conversation?!

From my remote viewpoint, I would guess that she isn't mad at you. If she read the wiki page, she might just be uncomfortable with you. Nons react all kinds of odd ways when they find out someone they know has a mental disorder.

My suggestion would be to do whatever you can to make initiating the conversation easier for you. If you believe she's uncomfortable with you, try to be a little more forthcoming with both her and the group. Maybe try to attend afternoon or evening sessions with the group rather than doing it on your own. NOT PERMANENTLY, just so she can see that you're not some emotionless zombie serial-killer. Maybe seeing you change your habits in regards to the group might prompt her to make some kind of comment, which would give you an in to start the conversation you want to have.

Clear the air, then you can go back to being as schizoid as you want!