Does anyone else have issues with defiance?

It's led to all kinds of problems in my life - school suspensions ect. Even if I was about to do something (say, clean my room), if someone tried to get me to do it, it would immediately cause me to lose all motivation or desire to do it.

As a child, when I did not want to do something, I just refused. No drama, yelling, threats and beatings moved me. It was far bigger issue for my family than for me at the time. When I grew up, I found there are much smarter ways to resist.

Not so much, generally speaking. Not a lot of people tell me what to do these days.

If I am doing a job for a client, however, if I have the energy and if time permits I will do something a little extra. But if they ask me to do that little extra thing, I get all and sort of resent having to do it. Maybe this is because I resent losing the opportunity to go that extra mile for them on my own accord. Or maybe it's my tendency to be somewhat petulant.

pixie fox wrote:...I found there are much smarter ways to resist.

Such as?

naps wrote:Such as?

Avoiding everyone.

I don't usually do things unless I see a reason for it.

I guess in the past I have been defiant. I wouldn't do something just because an authority demanded it of me, sometimes I would prefer to take the consequences of defiance rather than do what they wanted.

Sometimes its easier just to go along though. So it depends. Its a case by case basis.

MotherRussia wrote:I don't usually do things unless I see a reason for it.

I guess in the past I have been defiant. I wouldn't do something just because an authority demanded it of me, sometimes I would prefer to take the consequences of defiance rather than do what they wanted.

Sometimes its easier just to go along though. So it depends. Its a case by case basis.

I was pretty similar to you. Gradually, I learned the art of bullshi*ting.

Logic governs my actions. The tone or manner of expression of a request or even a command has not for some time affected whether or not I will carry it out. Then again, I am a grown man. I cannot remember the last time when I was commanded to do anything. On the other hand, if something violates my principles, defiance is only natural and is absolute. It is then absolute refusal as much as it is defiance.

I like being told what to do - it relieves me of the responsibility of decision making.
I have had mental breakdowns to avoid making decisions.
I am quite defiant in holding on to that position.

pixiefox wrote:It's led to all kinds of problems in my life - school suspensions ect. Even if I was about to do something (say, clean my room), if someone tried to get me to do it, it would immediately cause me to lose all motivation or desire to do it.

As a child, when I did not want to do something, I just refused. No drama, yelling, threats and beatings moved me. It was far bigger issue for my family than for me at the time. When I grew up, I found there are much smarter ways to resist.

Sounds like you and I had similar childhood experiences.

Maybe. It's more reasoned than reactionary, though.

I need to know why I am doing something. It needs to make sense to me. Socializing often does not make sense to me as a fun way to pass my time when people frustrate me, so usually my defiance comes from my desire to not attend social functions that others deem important.

The other place that I am often defiant is anything involving tradition or traditional wisdom, but it's still the same idea. I just need to know why I am doing what I am doing, and if there is good reason behind it. Often I will question long-standing traditions or ideas and this makes people angry.

Not really. But then again, what defines defiance?

Is it defiance, to loose any motivation, to answer this post (or any other post you make), when you have some post going on, in the anti-social forum, about white-supremacy.

Yes, i think from now on, i will be defiant from anything you post pixiefox. Sad to say, but one has to have a standart.