Accepting That You Are Not Relationship Material

Ashlar wrote:Posting in this thread yesterday got my mind back into the shit-storm that was the past and got me drinking.

The one time things "made sense" about a relationship was a few years back. It sort of looked like it could work. It didn't work out primarily because of the person I was physically then (less attractive than I was at a later point, though at the moment I'm worse than either of those). And even when I was in better shape and moving towards better than that, the problem was that other people had changed and there was no going back. Like two lines that just never intersect.... the window where I was "relationship material" as in physically, mentally, and emotionally was very small, and the window where other people could be compatible with me was also very small, and they never overlapped.

If the person I am today were to become someone other people would view as "relationship material" I've moved past that window. There was a time for it, but what I've become is something of an artifact.

More specifically, at middle/highschool/college age I wasn't mentally or emotionally capable of a relationship, but a lot of opportunities were thrown at me. Then for a few years (like... 25 to 28?) I was actually looking for something, but at that age I encountered very few interests and just didn't stumble into anything. The now at like 32 all those people that might have made sense 5 years ago are breaking up/divorcing/looking to settle and expressing interests again and I could not give a ###$. If it's age or maturity based, that would imply I might fit in when I was "ready" with someone younger or older that was on the same curve, but that doesn't seem right either.

I've always been pretty nihilistic or morbid, and at one time that was slightly edgy teenage #######4, and at another time it was introspection and logic, and at this time it's sort of like I've stopped giving a $#%^ about anything and would gladly just throw myself at any obstacle without a care in the world. Like I'm finally free, and I realized freedom is equally pointless.

Maybe I just need a dog.

I Dream 5 wrote:I do think Schizoids would make great short-term partners. Although, most of us don't have much desire for sex.

Sexual contacts
Sexual life of the schizoid
The schizoid’s libido is clearly lower than it is in the general population. Some have no sex life at all, nor are they interested in having one. Others – and these probably represent the majority, do have a sex life, but it is limited.
They can go for long periods without any sexual interaction since their desire is limited. This sexual limitation also affects the quality of their emotional life with their partners, and the quality of their emotional life will also affect their relationship with everyone else. There is no data on the hormonal character of the schizoid.
If there were, it would probably reveal significant information.
Their reduced need affects those schizoids in a relationship, and those who are single. Sometimes,
the need may lead to sexual activity without affection. Once the sexual act has been completed, all interest in the other sex fades away, and that person is ignored and forgotten immediately. The schizoid believes that sexuality is overrated because he does not feel the need for it as strongly as other individuals do. Often, sexual activity only begins late in life, sometimes beyond the age of 30. And forget the rude and obscene jokes – schizoids are simply not amused by them..

Sexual orientation is probably about the same as it is in the general population, but the percentage of people who are sexually different may be greater. There is no truth in the theory that schizoids are asexual. In fact, thoswho are asexual represent the minimum .And this asexuality should not be considered a lack of sexual desire, but rather as a total disinterest in the sexual act. In reality, these asexual people still feel the desire for a partner but more as a friend, living in a platonic relationship. They are not sexually aroused by intimacy, and may even experience the sexual act as being invasive.

These people may tolerate their partner at a distance, but not too close physically.
Though the schizoid may reject physical intimacy, he/she will masturbate when alone.
The male schizoid may fail in relationships owing to the fact that he is unable to fulfill sexual and family expectations.
While the schizoid may succeed in establishing some sort of satisfactory relationships, he will still find it difficult to establish any emotional bonds. Thus, it is worth bearing in mind that the schizoid personality feels uprooted, detached and maladjusted.

Reynolds wrote:The schizoid’s libido is clearly lower than it is in the general population. Some have no sex life at all, nor are they interested in having one. Others – and these probably represent the majority, do have a sex life, but it is limited.
They can go for long periods without any sexual interaction since their desire is limited. This sexual limitation also affects the quality of their emotional life with their partners, and the quality of their emotional life will also affect their relationship with everyone else. There is no data on the hormonal character of the schizoid.
If there were, it would probably reveal significant information.
Their reduced need affects those schizoids in a relationship, and those who are single. Sometimes,
the need may lead to sexual activity without affection. Once the sexual act has been completed, all interest in the other sex fades away, and that person is ignored and forgotten immediately. The schizoid believes that sexuality is overrated because he does not feel the need for it as strongly as other individuals do. Often, sexual activity only begins late in life, sometimes beyond the age of 30. And forget the rude and obscene jokes – schizoids are simply not amused by them..

Sexual orientation is probably about the same as it is in the general population, but the percentage of people who are sexually different may be greater. There is no truth in the theory that schizoids are asexual. In fact, thoswho are asexual represent the minimum .And this asexuality should not be considered a lack of sexual desire, but rather as a total disinterest in the sexual act. In reality, these asexual people still feel the desire for a partner but more as a friend, living in a platonic relationship. They are not sexually aroused by intimacy, and may even experience the sexual act as being invasive.

These people may tolerate their partner at a distance, but not too close physically.
Though the schizoid may reject physical intimacy, he/she will masturbate when alone.
The male schizoid may fail in relationships owing to the fact that he is unable to fulfill sexual and family expectations.
While the schizoid may succeed in establishing some sort of satisfactory relationships, he will still find it difficult to establish any emotional bonds. Thus, it is worth bearing in mind that the schizoid personality feels uprooted, detached and maladjusted.

naps wrote:

Reynolds wrote: And forget the rude and obscene jokes – schizoids are simply not amused by them..

CloudShark wrote:

naps wrote:

Reynolds wrote: And forget the rude and obscene jokes – schizoids are simply not amused by them..

Is this part true?

Reynolds wrote:

CloudShark wrote:

Reynolds wrote: And forget the rude and obscene jokes – schizoids are simply not amused by them..

Is this part true?

I don't know to what extent that it is true in general for schizoid, but it is for me. Maybe I looked at dirty jokes like "those who can do, those who can't talk about it". To me dirty jokes just seem juvenile.

Reynolds wrote:I don't know to what extent that it is true in general for schizoid, but it is for me. Maybe I looked at dirty jokes like "those who can do, those who can't talk about it". To me dirty jokes just seem juvenile.

naps wrote:
I think there is a thread about schizoid humor somewhere.

naps wrote: Dirty jokes aside, I have a rude and obnoxious sense of humor. More than once, I've offended people for the sake of (what I thought) was a good joke. I'll also make jokes just to amuse myself, even if they are inappropriate. I think I am humor-impaired. A psychologist told me I use humor as an outlet for anger, which makes sense since all humor is hostile at it's core.

CloudShark wrote:It's easy to misjudge humour though isn't it? I've offended people by accident before when I thought they'd take it as a joke.

Reynolds wrote:Now there was a very mixed crowd there coming in and out of the eating area and there were a good number of kids there. This was not humor, but one time there was a guy there and as he was walking out near me every 3rd word out of his mouth was "###$" or some variation of it and I just thought it was not appropriate there so I said to him in my best tv announcer voice, "I'm sorry, but you've just used up your today's quota of the F-bomb. So please wait until tomorrow before using it again". His mouth dropped open, but he stopped swearing as a couple of people laughed and he never swore in front of me again.