Secrecy and Privacy

How secretive are you? How much do you value your privacy?

Are you ever secretive about things that most people aren't?

How do you react when your privacy is invaded?

Also, do you think any of this relates to modesty? How modest are you?

I just want to lay low.
Rather than being modest for the same of being not proud, I don't get any pleasure from praise.

*sake

For some reason the edit button doesn't work.

naps wrote:How secretive are you? How much do you value your privacy?

Are you ever secretive about things that most people aren't?

How do you react when your privacy is invaded?

Also, do you think any of this relates to modesty? How modest are you?

I try to put every person i have contact with in its own "relationship bubble" and i try to keep those bubbles as small as possible. means i try to keep a relationship on the most simple level as possible and try to avoid contact between persons of different bubbles.
for example:
if we play computergames together, you will have full access to my entire computergaming history and internet activitys related to computergames. but i wont ever tell you even a part of my real name nor anything else that has nothingto do with gaming.
i have the same job for 16 years now, except of my boss people dont even know my full name, age birthday, where i live and so on.
befor i broke contact with my parents they knew basically nothing about me except where i life and that i do computerstuff and what kind of job i have.

thereason for this is protection. if one part of my life gets disrupted in a serious way, i can just abandon this entire bubble and there is no way that the rest of my life is affected by it.

"privacy invaded" would mean i made a mistake at some point and someone from one bubble was able to see another bubble or even have contact with someone of an other bubble.

my reaction would probably damage control of some sort, depending on the situation. the worst case would be abandoning "damaged bubbles".

and that has nothing at all to do with modesty, i dont tell people things to keep the bubbles separated.

I'm a very private person, but not so private that I don't contribute to this forum.
I'm happy to share my opinions, but keep my thoughts to myself - not because my thoughts are weird (I'll reveal that they are really quite mundane), but because they're mine and are no business of anyone else.
I'm arrogant enough to consider myself modest.

Are you ever secretive about things that most people aren't?

Definitely. Most people seem to be ok with allowing others to go through their personal stuff (with permission) or disclosing personal information about themselves on social networks. I'm not, even if there's nothing really compromising there. You want something from my desk? I'll have to look for it for you, you can't go in there yourself. You want to look at what I do on my cellphone or personal computer, or worse, use it yourself? Not happening. I have only disclosed very few personal things about myself in the few social networks I've had, things I considered trivial and nearly nothing that could identify me aside from my name. Probably the thing people have noted the most about me is that I never use my personal picture as a profile picture whenever there's one. I'll always choose some avatar, even if that social network is used purely for real-life business.

How do you react when your privacy is invaded?

I'll visibly get upset, which isn't common to see in me, so people often know they've overstepped their boundaries when they get that reaction out of me.

Also, do you think any of this relates to modesty? How modest are you?

I don't think any of this is modest. This is, if anything, arrogance, even paranoia if you want to go that far. The only way in which this is modest is because I'll behave the same way I described previously when it comes to others, so people will often call me overly modest when I do stuff like asking them twice if it's ok to go through some of their stuff to look for something. But it's not out of pure politeness. It's because I want others to do the same with me, and I want to set that standard with them.

I been traveling in over crouded countries, for months, and i don't mind other people around me, as long as they keep to them self (as they always do), and don't enter my personal spher.
As long as people behave in a good manner, im fine.

At home i value privacy, and i don't like anyone hanging around, if they have no specefic reason to be there. I just tell people to go, i am a awfull host.

I have the feeling, that most people have secrets about their well being. Im not secretive at all, i don't care what people think about me. But on the other hand, i can see why all the sociopaths and narcissists, i used to know would keep it a secret. They kind of live of their ego. Don't want to spoil that.

I usualy react cold and distant, when someone invade my privacy, and i don't like it. I tell people to go, if they have no valid reason to be there. It is very disturbing on my brain.

I live very modest. I have no interest in luxury, and i never spend more than i have. I think modesty is a good quality, along with stoic qualitys.

What about you naps? What is your take on this?

Thanks for all your answers.

I'm very secretive. Not that I have a lot to hide, but things that people are usually very open about are very awkward for me to discuss or reveal. For some reason I was thinking this is a form of modesty, but I think that's the wrong word. I don't know if there's a word that would fit. Maybe paranoid.

I guess I'm most in line with what Vink said. I don't have to worry much about people looking at my computer because no one is ever here to do so. It has happened, though. A friend was checking something online on my computer once and when I came in the room, he had one of my folders open and was telling me how there's a much better way to organize my files. I said "What are you doing? Don't do that." in a very terse tone, and it must have been potent because he backed off immediately. I'm surprised he didn't cop an attitude because he hates when people get snotty with him, but I think I made it pretty clear that it was a sore spot for me.

I hate when people hover over me, and on the rare instances when people ask me "What's on your mind?" I just shrug and start to plan my escape.

On the incredibly rare instances when I'm on my phone in public, I find it difficult to talk freely. Even if it's just a simple call to a client saying I'm running late. It's not shyness, or shame or anything like that. By overhearing what I'm saying I feel sort of like I'm letting the people around me into my head. I don't want anyone in my head. I wonder if part of this is OCD. I don't like strangers touching me or breathing on me or anything. I prefer to be separate, totally.

I had a houseguest this weekend, and I spent some time scanning my apartment for things I might have left lying around that I wouldn't want anyone to see. There was nothing to find, really, but just having someone in my apartment feels like an invasion of my privacy. This is my space, where I hole myself up 90% of the time, and having someone here unnerves me the way a normal person would be unnerved to find a stranger sleeping in their bed.

I also relate to the "bubble" thing that Necrionos was talking about, although this applies more to when I was more socially connected years ago. I feel like I put on a different false face for different people. It's also a way of compartmentalizing them, making it easier to keep them at arm's length.

I thought this topic might resonate more with the posters here, but now I'm realizing that an event in my teen years, when my parents stole and read my private journal might have a lot to do with it.

Necrionos wrote:i have the same job for 16 years now, except of my boss people dont even know my full name, age birthday, where i live and so on.

That's pretty impressive. Almost all my coworkers know my name and a lot know my birthday. I was able to keep my birthday secret for a couple years though. I don't mind people knowing because an anonymous face is less likely to move up the ladder and I could always use more money. Some coworkers think they know where I live, but I haven't actually lived there in awhile. I just play along if it comes up in conversation because I feel no need to tell them I moved. One of them is probably going to show up one day then I'll tell them "oh yeah, I don't live there anymore"

naps wrote:I thought this topic might resonate more with the posters here, but now I'm realizing that an event in my teen years, when my parents stole and read my private journal might have a lot to do with it.

I've never kept a journal, as I consider my thoughts too private for a page to know them (although I'll repeat my previous statement that they're really not particularly weird). Freedom to think whatever we want without restriction is the only true freedom we have.
However, perhaps contrarily, I have no objection to the State knowing everything else about me. So 'revelations' about State surveillance make me yawn.