Relationships are a farce, aren't they?

by **pleasnpetrichor** » Mon Sep 12, 2016 4:36 am

TheMayor wrote:I agree that there's nothing wrong with a business transaction dressed up as something more. It doesn't really bother me. The delusion you refer to is probably healthier than the lack thereof.

Hemingway would agree with you...

In spite of this introduction of emotion, Mr. Frazer went on thinking. Usually he avoided thinking all he could, except when he was writing, but now he was thinking about those who were playing and what the little one had said.

Religion is the opium of the people. He believed that, that dyspeptic little joint-keeper. Yes, and music is the opium of the people. Old mount-to-the-head hadn’t thought of that.

And now economics is the opium of the people; along with patriotism the opium of the people in Italy and Germany.
What about sexual intercourse; was that an opium of the people? Of some of the people. Of some of the best of the people. But drink was a sovereign opium of the people, oh, an excellent opium. Although some prefer the radio, another opium of the people, a cheap one he had just been using.

Along with these went gambling, an opium of the people if there ever was one, one of the oldest. Ambition was another.
An opium of the people, along with a belief in any new form of government. What you wanted was the minimum of government, always less government. Liberty, what we believed in, now the name of a MacFadden publication. We believed in that although they had not found a new name for it yet. But what was the real one? What was the real, the actual, opium of the people? He knew it very well. It was gone just a little way around the corner in that well-lighted part of his mind that was there after two or more drinks in the evening; that he knew was there (it was not really there of course). What was it? He knew very well. What was it?

Of course; bread was the opium of the people. Would he remember that and would it make sense in the daylight?
Bread is the opium of the people.

‘Listen,’ Mr. Frazer said to the nurse when she came. ‘Get that little thin Mexican in here, will you, please?’
‘How do you like it?’ the Mexican said at the door.
‘Very much.’
‘It is a historic tune,’ the Mexican said. ‘It is the tune of the real revolution.’
‘Listen,’ said Mr. Frazer. ‘Why should the people be operated on without an anaesthetic?’
‘I do not understand.’
‘Why are not all the opiums of the people good? What do you want to do with the people?’
‘They should be rescued from ignorance.’
‘Don’t talk nonsense. Education is an opium of the people. You ought to know now that you’ve had a little.’
‘You do not believe in education?’
‘No,’ said Mr. Frazer. ‘In knowledge, yes.’
‘I do not follow you.’
‘Many times I do not follow myself with pleasure.’
‘You want to hear the “Cucaracha” another time?’ asked the Mexican worriedly.
‘Yes,’ said Mr. Frazer. ‘Play the “Cucaracha” another time. It’s better than the radio.’

Although I would tend to disagree. Self deception is a bad thing, in general.

Dalloway wrote:A farce, a nasty habit, a toxic chokehold. For me every relationship I was able to witness up close is an argument against relationships.

BUT, not unlike Mr. Martin Luther King, I have a dream. And as long as I can conjure up an alternative at least in my mind, there is a possibility.
Don't you dream?

Ahh...Well said.

by **JackTheNewOne** » Mon Sep 12, 2016 5:49 pm

The need for relationships comes from the need for other people.
If you don't have a need for other people and you're fine on your own, then there's no need for relationships.

Or else, maybe you just want society's approval and admiration, and having a partner means that you have some value on society.
We all know that, by the eyes of the society, people who are in a relationships are in a higher degree than people who are alone.

by **naps** » Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:27 pm

What about those studies that proclaim that people in relationships, or those who are otherwise engaged socially on a regular basis tend to live longer and healthier lives?

Does this apply to schizoids or people who are not socially inclined? (I know if I was forced to regularly participate in social activities it would practically kill me.)

...or are these studies referring to the long term effects of loneliness in those who crave companionship but for whatever reason are unable to attain it?

by **JackTheNewOne** » Mon Sep 12, 2016 11:08 pm

naps wrote:What about those studies that proclaim that people in relationships, or those who are otherwise engaged socially on a regular basis tend to live longer and healthier lives?

Does this apply to schizoids or people who are not socially inclined? (I know if I was forced to regularly participate in social activities it would practically kill me.)

...or are these studies referring to the long term effects of loneliness in those who crave companionship but for whatever reason are unable to attain it?

I think that people who feel loneliness are more inclined to addictions, as a way to cope with the frustration. They'll probably become sedentary too.

For those like many of us, who sees being alone as a preferable state, you can have a healthy life, do exercises, walking, etc. But alone.
The fact of having people around you doesn't mean anything, it's not like they give you "positive energy" or something like that.

Lone people also tends to think more and have some negative view of the world, which can lead to depression and in a severe case to suicide.

by **I Dream 5** » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:41 pm

Kimberly wrote:(Posted on reddit, but reposting here.)

This post is rather ironic. Being in a schizoid forum, posting about the lack of value in relationships and hoping that you can relate to me.

Relationship... It is some mutual validation, approval, shared moping and groping. Like a business transaction. Whats the big deal? She loves you? I doubt she is capable of even seeing you except through the lens of her needs and projected wishes.

I don't see how relationships are any different from a business deal, however much they may be sugarcoated. Moreover, people are sustaining such fickle notions of relatedness (most of which is based on need fulfilling), it seems to me that they too are actually alone but they don't know it yet. I think, even their 'bonding/relationship' is a farce. An illusion they wish to sustain so that as social animals they have safety in numbers. What they call in us schizoids a 'failure to bond', is in fact our recognition of the truth. That (most?) bonding is a farce.

TL;DR Do you agree that relationships are overrated? Validate my opinion, won't you?

Yeah...I agree. To me, relationships seem like a farce. I am not willing to compromise and go through various charades only to receive sex and someone to talk to. Sex just isn't that important to me, I've got porn for that..and someone to talk to isn't either. So there's my summary of things.

by **TheMayor** » Wed Sep 14, 2016 5:18 am

It's a bit cynical, but I tend to agree strongly with Hemingway's character. Illusion and deception are foundational elements of life. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Consequently, I'm not going to down talk relationships because the majority of society hasn't given sufficient thought to the mechanisms behind them. The McRib might be made of grade D meat and low quality lard, but that doesn't mean I'm going to call someone dumb for thinking it's tasty. Though if you think that relationships are more harmful than I do, then this analogy doesn't hold.

by **biteme** » Fri Sep 16, 2016 2:06 am

TheMayor wrote:It's a bit cynical, but I tend to agree strongly with Hemingway's character. Illusion and deception are foundational elements of life. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I agree relationships don't seem any more of a farce than any other human activity. But I'm also a hedonist, so if it gives pleasure then it's worth pursuing.

The most powerful relationship in my life now (assuming we're not just talking about intimate ones) is with my daughter who is nonverbal and only capable of very limited movements. I probably understand very little of what goes on in her head--not that I'm great at understanding people in general. Her intelligence is normal though and I know something's going on there. The big motivation is that I recognize that she really needs me and that gives some purpose to my life. It also makes me try to understand someone else in a way other relationships have never done.

by **Holodeck** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:49 am

Old thread but figured I'd chime in...

To me it's about being there for someone and them being there for me.

My guy and I have sort of an agreement. If I need my alone time, he leaves me alone (even if it is for hours). Occasionally he'll get me to participate in things, but he knows my social limits and doesn't push.

He knows I'm schizoid, and we knew each other for years before we dated. He has high-functioning aspergers and many of my quirks don't seem to bother him. We both are open-minded, logical, and overly honest with one another, so we tend to value each other's opinions over most, because we know we won't get offended by one another. I personally can feel an emotional intimacy towards friendship (and tend to have these emotions around him. Clarifying that I do, because I don't typically have emotion unless I'm not face-to-face), but not as much towards romance/sex.

by **under ice** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 6:21 pm

Some people think it's sensible to be in a relationship and it probably is so.

Relationships are a farce, aren't they?

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