how others perceive you

I've noticed that a lot of talk on the forum is about how we perceive other people and ourselves, however I'm curious as to what non-schizoids think of schizoids. I assume that most of us don't give a damn about what most other people think of us, but even with such indifference towards other people, we must have some idea of what others think of us "freaks". Afterall, the human race is a psychologically diverse organism and I suppose that despite our fundamental similiarities we have had differing relationships with other people.

As for my own experience, I have to say that only recently have I finally established my "true" character, meaning that I stopped experimenting in spicing up my social life. The people from my study groups usually get the impression at first that I am friendly, but shy. This usually changes over time and after about half a year people have trouble relating to me simply because they have no idea of what to expect of me despite going to the same classes for the last couple months.

However, in my high school days, I had a very extrovert group of people as my colleagues (it seemed like a mass case of ADHD ). I was usually regarded as highly introvertic and shy (I thought I was shy at the time), but I had moments when people would question that. For instance, at one social gathering, I was bothered by a group of girls to perform a partial striptease. After half an hour, I eventually did it so they would leave me alone. Of course my actions were misinterpreted as a sign of eccentracy. Furthermore, my overall distance to my own self, my cynical sense of humor and general "weird" behaviour made me quite popular despite never wanting popularity. The moment I left high school most of my contacts broke up and I was once again "a shy little boy" with little sign of my unwanted "fame".

This made me think that what others perceive of me is largely false. Besides a small group of friends, I suppose most people whom I met only noticed the masks I was wearing at a given occasion to adapt to the environment. This happens despite the fact that I'm bluntly honest towards others and true to my emotions. It seems futile to expect most people to understand me even after a long time simply because the idea of not really enjoying social activities much doesn't even cross their minds (although there are of course exceptions).

What are you thoughts and experiences?

For the most part, I don't know what people think of me. However, some people aren't shy and have no problem telling me, what they think.

From what I've heard most people just think I'm weird. I don't know how I'm weird, but it attracts people and they always want to figure me out or fix me.

I think the first thing they notice is my "lack of emotions." Every since I was a little kid I've been mostly indifferent, I can't help it and I don't know how to fake it.

Other than that, I don't know. I have a hard time grasping people think about me at all.

When I was younger I was thought to be a very shy kid. So shy in fact, that the school teachers thought I was mentally retarded to some degree. That's ###$ up. It was just assumed by them.

In middle school I was just backround filler. I did not really have a defined personality. I went through the motions.

In high school I started figuring out who I was on the inside. I grew long hair (I'm a guy), which wasn't too common in that school, though two or three other guys had had long hair too. Apparently, this scared people. I was very quiet for the most part, and my long hair combined with that made others think I was a killer. I was never bothered by anyone because they percieved me to be this lanky serioso murder. I was kind of taken aback by that when I found out. Nobody told me that is how I was thought of until after graduating. Some teachers were nice to me though. One in particular seemed to understand my demeanor. Needless to say, even though my face is not ugly, I never attracted any attention from girls.

Since high school up until now it is not so bad, I've got shorter hair now, and am not seen so much as a killer. I intimidate those who do not know me just from my blank face and posture, but I can be okay with that I guess. I have a very dry and absurd humor, so once I do feel comfortable with someone I tend to be seen as funny by them. I also have a large base of trivia from constant reading and wikipedia'ing, so I might appear more intelligent to others than I actually am. I just like trivia, but put a simple algebra forumla in front of me and I have no clue how to even begin solving it.

I could have written your post kretes. I too had an extroverted bunch of friends in highschool. These relationships started petering out towards the end, partly because I got sick of following them which is usually the case for me.

Like you said I guess most people just end up thinking we're a bit odd after initially thinking shy.

Other than that, I don't know. I have a hard time grasping people think about me at all.

I have a hard time grasping myself let alone what other people think of me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spf5MN0Mgxo

I don't quite get the youtube clip. I'm not sure how that relates to this thread.

I am not shizoid so I can give you my thoughts. First, since most of you don't go out often, there are probably not many people who have any impression of you. The schizoid who I know, very vaguely, gives the impression of being extremely shy and not comfortable with people. I have heard others say that he's 'weird'. His father refers to him as 'asocial', 'he doesn't get along with kids or adults'. His mother has always called him 'weird'. His appearance is rather nondescript. He's nice looking, regular men's hair, regular clothes, glasses, nothing that stands out one way or the other. He's 20, never had a date, never had any friends, mostly stays in the basement playing video games. He's very smart, with excellent grades but has nothing to do with his college classmates. Yeh, 'weird' is probably the most common description for him. But very few people ever see him.

So shy in fact, that the school teachers thought I was mentally retarded to some degree. That's ###$ up. It was just assumed by them.

I was thought to be very shy also. And a lot of people will talk down to me, where it's like they think I'm slow or something or I wont understand. Although at the same time when I was younger I was also thought to be the smart kid. Smart and quiet. At around 5th grade I'm sure people thought I was a little weird, I had very few friends and I never hung out or had really any friends at all at school. Like certain people I might have talked to out of school, but never at school. I think some people might have thought I was stuck up. I think I was also thought as a "goody-two-shoes". Anytime we'd go on field trips I'd sit by myself on the bus and the other kids would go aww she's sitting all by herself heh...even if I had wanted to sit with someone since I had no friends I probably couldn't have, but the thing was that I liked sitting by myself..funny thing is once I got older, everyone else started wanting to sit by themselves.

During the middle, I got a little weirder so I lost some of the "being a smart kid" I stopped caring as much about doing good at school...Once I was in highschool I was the shy, smart kid who didn't care quite enough, but enough to be thought of as responsible I guess and not do bad things. During high school, I guess I was a mixture between the people who didn't do a thing and the people who studied and tried hard. Some people again I think might have thought I was stuck up, some just thought I was weird, some thought I was just really nice and quiet. In my own circle I suppose the certain people I would talk to always thought I was smart and just shy. One part of the people I talked to were the really smart quiet kids, and the other part were very weird off the wall people. A lot of the quiet smart kids knew or talked to the very weird kids and they pretty much sat in the library, so most of the smart kids didn't think much of any weird qualities and they were probably weird themselves. The other smart kids that didn't hang around there I never talked to much beyond superficial things and they didn't care if I was weird or not either. The outgoing kids I knew were very out there and blunt about everything, so it never mattered that I was too.

I had some people tell me once that I did eventually talk to that they had always wanted to talk to me, one person said they wanted to, but I seemed like I would be mean to them if they tried, but they had wanted to. So I guess to people who didn't know me, I might have seemed interesting...although I never thought so. I thought I seemed more quiet and nerdy maybe a little dorky. I think it might have changed in highschool, because of how I dressed...so I wasn't known quite as much as the smart kid anymore. Maybe they thought there was more to me than there was heh I don't know. I'm sure only a few people thought that though, because I still think I seemed pretty dorky myself. Other than that I have absolutely no idea...this is only what I think and maybe all I can be for sure is that everyone thought I was a quiet kid.

Ah but the teachers etc.. must have thought something was wrong...once I wore this sweater all the time and I started picking at the sleave (It was a cheap sweater with those one things..really soft but you know that gets all over anything) Anyway I picked at it so much that, that sleave was hardly even there anymore, but I still wore it all the time cuz it was comfy and I didnt feel like wearing my coat.. and then instead of just telling me I couldnt wear it cuz it was against the dress code (No torn clothing) I was called into the counsellors office "To talk about it".

I don't quite get the youtube clip. I'm not sure how that relates to this thread.

Most call me "Dope man"

Caellic,
I don't think that the dress code was the problem with the sweater. The concern was WHY you wanted to wear a thread bare sweater and pick at it. That's why you were called to talk with the counselor. Wearing a sweater like that, all the time, was a 'red flag' that something was wrong. The sweater was an outward sign of something not right inside. The counselor wanted to help you with what was going on inside, the reasons for this behavior.

I'm wondering why your parents allowed you to continue to wear this sweater and why they weren't more concerned about what it meant. Did they not notice?

Janie wrote:Caellic,
I don't think that the dress code was the problem with the sweater. The concern was WHY you wanted to wear a thread bare sweater and pick at it. That's why you were called to talk with the counselor. Wearing a sweater like that, all the time, was a 'red flag' that something was wrong. The sweater was an outward sign of something not right inside. The counselor wanted to help you with what was going on inside, the reasons for this behavior.

I'm wondering why your parents allowed you to continue to wear this sweater and why they weren't more concerned about what it meant. Did they not notice?

My mom allowed me to continue to wear it, because it was my choice. I was in high school what was she going to do? Ground me? hehe. Also the fact that she knew there wasn't any reason to concern about it or wonder what it meant, because it didn't mean anything. I wore it because it was comfortable and I didn't want to lug around a huge coat all the time and have to take it off or put it on all the time or what ever. The sweater was comfortable and that was it. No other reason at all. If they wanted me to stop wearing it for the dress code, they should have said..it's not allowed, so stop wearing it. After that I'd have just changed to the bulky coat..which is what they did although they could have just easily told me to stop wearing the sweater, they didn't need to have a talk about it hehe. Most wouldn't wear something like that, because most people care very much about what others think of their appearence, but I don't. I only care if I'm happy with the way I look, it's not their business how I dress or what I want to wear nor am I here for their amusement or for them to watch me. If they want to then they can go for it, I wont stop them, but I wont change into something uncomfortable just so they can have a better view.

Also I picked at it, because I had free time. If I was bored, I amused myself and that was amusing.. it's just like when people peel off paint chips from something. When you take off all the little things, it's kind of like fishnets, just squares of strings, but eventually from washing and picking it just got torn. Either way it was still comfy and thin.

If I had been going to something like a job, of course I wouldn't be wearing a torn up thing. Although it was just school, hardly important. I went there to get a diploma and that was it and that's exactly what I did. I don't see the importance of what I was wearing...that has nothing to do with my homework or how I study. I think the children and the adults there were far too concerned with how people dressed than actually learning. It's no wonder the education system is so screwed up (In america by the way, I wouldn't know how it is in other places.)

I was a kid, I liked to dress in things I liked that were comfortable, I also went through a stage of expressing myself through my clothing. My clothing is a lot less bizarre and I'm a pretty non descript person, but dressing a little extreme from time to time is a pretty normal kid thing. Also I think it's perfectly fine to dress out of the norm, the people in the 80's don't dress the way we do now, but I really doubt that makes them anymore wrong in the way they dressed than in the way we dress now.