New guy, and trying to figure out if I'm Schizoid

bobalobugle wrote:

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

Caellic wrote: I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk.

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified.

i get anxious around people - not so much interaction like buying something in a shop, but if i have to be in close proximity - public transport is pretty much my worst nightmare. i don't trust people, i think people are physically repulsive and i get horribly anxious if i have to be around them.

I seem to be kind of cyclic in that regard. Sometimes I really feel quite anxious and my thoughts race unbearably when having to be close to people... othertimes I'm completely indifferent. I haven't pinpointed exactly what causes it which is annoying, I know if I have gone for a long walk I don't get it.. I also know that taking ghb in the past has completely eliminated it, in fact a lot of those times I would say I actually enjoyed being around people.

i wouldn't say i enjoyed it unless it was people i know quite well. it's funny - because there are times when i don't get anxious on public transport, for instance - which are the times like i mentioned elsewhere where i put up an invincibility bubble around me. if i have my walkman on and a book or something i can just focus on those - but if people do touch me then one look from me is enough to make them move. it's like i make myself so superior and aggressive seeming that they just leave me be.

yeah tell me about it. i still remember being at the bus station and some black guy. probably ex military. took his right index finger and stabbed me in my right shoulder with it. All because he thought that the guy in font of me had cut the line. When in fact that guy had set his bags down 30 minutes before. i think about his finger at least once a week. This was last year by the way. he said he traveled around the states to pick up cars. strange guy indeed. mabye he was one of those super under cover guys i like to follow around.

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

Caellic wrote: I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk.

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified.

i get anxious around people - not so much interaction like buying something in a shop, but if i have to be in close proximity - public transport is pretty much my worst nightmare. i don't trust people, i think people are physically repulsive and i get horribly anxious if i have to be around them.

I seem to be kind of cyclic in that regard. Sometimes I really feel quite anxious and my thoughts race unbearably when having to be close to people... othertimes I'm completely indifferent. I haven't pinpointed exactly what causes it which is annoying, I know if I have gone for a long walk I don't get it.. I also know that taking ghb in the past has completely eliminated it, in fact a lot of those times I would say I actually enjoyed being around people.

i wouldn't say i enjoyed it unless it was people i know quite well. it's funny - because there are times when i don't get anxious on public transport, for instance - which are the times like i mentioned elsewhere where i put up an invincibility bubble around me. if i have my walkman on and a book or something i can just focus on those - but if people do touch me then one look from me is enough to make them move. it's like i make myself so superior and aggressive seeming that they just leave me be.

I mean I enjoyed being around people while on ghb lol. The friends I used to see are complete alcoholics, so I would always be drunk when visiting them really. I haven't seen them in a while because I'm pretty sure the one fits NPD description very well.. and well, it gets irritating. Funnily enough we're quite similar in someways, kind of insensitive/silly sense of humour but the NPD side really pissed me off sometimes.

Yeah, I had already considered a career in comics, and I'm trying to get out of my house as soon as possible. Taking summer classes to graduate early. I think my parents might have an effect on the way that I am, but I can't be sure yet because I'm stuck living with them.

bobalobugle wrote:

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

Caellic wrote: I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk.

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified.

i get anxious around people - not so much interaction like buying something in a shop, but if i have to be in close proximity - public transport is pretty much my worst nightmare. i don't trust people, i think people are physically repulsive and i get horribly anxious if i have to be around them.

I seem to be kind of cyclic in that regard. Sometimes I really feel quite anxious and my thoughts race unbearably when having to be close to people... othertimes I'm completely indifferent. I haven't pinpointed exactly what causes it which is annoying, I know if I have gone for a long walk I don't get it.. I also know that taking ghb in the past has completely eliminated it, in fact a lot of those times I would say I actually enjoyed being around people.

i wouldn't say i enjoyed it unless it was people i know quite well. it's funny - because there are times when i don't get anxious on public transport, for instance - which are the times like i mentioned elsewhere where i put up an invincibility bubble around me. if i have my walkman on and a book or something i can just focus on those - but if people do touch me then one look from me is enough to make them move. it's like i make myself so superior and aggressive seeming that they just leave me be.

I mean I enjoyed being around people while on ghb lol.

i must have a mental ghb

Ask yourself these questions:


Are you emotially introvert?
Are you emotially detached?
Do you have limited capacities to express either positive and/or negative emotions towards others?
Do you always chose solitary activities over group activities?
Do you have few or no acquaintances?
Do you have few or no friends?
Do you have very few interests?
Do you take pleasure in a very limited amount of activities?
Are you indifferent to social norms and rituals, or question these?
Are you occupied with fantasy and/or introspection a lot?
Do you lack a desire for having sexual experiences with other people?
Do you lack a desire to be a productive citizen?
Do you lack goals in life (or have very weird goals)?
You generally do not care about your future?
Do you have low empathy ^1?
Do you have low sympathy (especially "positive sympathy") ^2?
Are you a bluntly honest person and do not care if your honesty hurts others?
Do you view people as inauthentic ^3?
Do you have extreme and/or odd, moral and/or political beliefs?
Are you indifferent to praise and/or criticism of others?
Do you find it easier to communicate with people online than in the realworld?
Is humor (be it dark, evil or funky - doesnt matter) the only thing that makes you laugh and smile?

Are you emotionally introvert?

For the most part yes, or it could be that I have no one to share it with.

Are you emotionally detached?

Yep.

Do you have limited capacities to express either positive and/or negative emotions towards others?

It's not too hard, but usually I just pretend because I don't sympathize or don't care most of the time.

Do you always chose solitary activities over group activities?

Usually I will, but it's because for the most part I'm not interested. I have limited interests, so I end up doing solitary activities most of the time.

Do you have few or no acquaintances?

I have some here and there, but since it's high school that's pretty common.

Do you have few or no friends?

Yes, but I'm picky about them, so it could be partly my fault.

Do you have very few interests?

Let's see, video games, drawing, video games, writing, video games, sleeping, video games, eating, and Yu-Gi-Oh TCG (Nerd power.) Not too many...

Do you take pleasure in a very limited amount of activities?

Yeah, and sometimes I even don't have much pleasure in my interests. Well, except Yu-Gi-Oh TCG. I love strategy.

Are you indifferent to social norms and rituals, or question these?

Yeah. My parents raised my in Christianity, but I could never get into it at all, not because I didn't like it, but because I never had that "fire" inside me. Even those I was raised with anti-gay parents, I still don't care anyway.

Are you occupied with fantasy and/or introspection a lot?

Definitely, my brain is awesome.

Do you lack a desire for having sexual experiences with other people?

Not really, but it's a little low considering I'm 17.

Do you lack a desire to be a productive citizen?

Sometimes, but maybe I'm just lazy.

Do you lack goals in life (or have very weird goals)?

Are making comics weird?

You generally do not care about your future?

Technically I do care (as in I want to accomplish it) but I can never get myself to care emotionally about it and really get into it.

Do you have low empathy ^1?

I'd consider this a yes.

Do you have low sympathy (especially "positive sympathy") ^2?

Same as above.

Are you a bluntly honest person and do not care if your honesty hurts others?

I am blunt, but I do try not to hurt others without a reason. I do like crushingly defeating my enemies though, and sometimes hearing about bad stuff gives me a small thrill.

Do you view people as inauthentic ^3?

Hell yes.

Do you have extreme and/or odd, moral and/or political beliefs?

Nope.

Are you indifferent to praise and/or criticism of others?

For the most part yes. Though I'm open to people bragging about me.

Do you find it easier to communicate with people online than in the real world?

Yeah, text is my friend. I have more time to think about what I'm going to say online or in text of any form.

Is humor (be it dark, evil or funky - doesn't matter) the only thing that makes you laugh and smile?

Yeah, I don't get my kicks anywhere else.[/b]

Wow, colin, if i had not read this here i would have thought i wrote it myself, our situations are very alike.

my parents are not divorced, i have a father who annoys me and nothing more, at the same time hurting my mother with his compromising lifestyle.

I myself question the criteria of the personality disorder evaluations. Try to think, you are a complete individual, outside the bounds of any definition, but of many definitions.

the way you describe your life makes a point you have many of the traits of SPD, but ask yourself, do you really want to know exactly what you are? what do you think it will do to you?