New guy, and trying to figure out if I'm Schizoid

I've been wondering for a long time about myself. I seem to possess a lot of the traits associated with this, but I have some exceptions so I'm not sure.

Does not experience strong emotions

I fall under this one pretty well. I can't get enthusiastic about things, birthday and Christmas included. I have one friend (online one) who I've told that I don't feel friendship for her and it upsets her somewhat, but I don't tell any of my other friends as they may not all be as understanding. The one strong emotion I do feel rarely is anger. It only pops up when I'm dealing with my dad (especially my dad...), or when some game I'm playing starts to really piss me off (I should be able to use the shield on A Link to the Past!) People used to pick on my when I was younger, and for a while I did care up until around 9th grade. The other strong emotion I feel happens almost every day and nearly all the time and it's humor, if that's a feeling. I love making jokes, writing stupid stuff, and would like to make comics in the future too. I enjoy humor sites like Something Awful, The Best Page in the Universe, and Angry Nintendo Nerd. This side of me makes me question weather I'm schizoid or not. Also, since I played video games during all the developmental stages of my childhood, rather than, you know, developing. It might be why I'm so apathetic.

Does not desire or enjoy close relationships

Well, I can say I don't have any to be sure. There are others willing to participate in one with me, like some friends and family, but I can't get it in me to respond back to them. As far as I can tell I'm not looking for any relationships and it hardy occupies my mind. There is one girl I know online who occasionally I feel like I'd want to have a relationship with (not sure why though...) but it's an on and off thing.

Avoids social activities that involve significant interpersonal contact

Hmm, I don't go outright and avoid these. There are times where I avoid them because I'm not in the mood, but generally I don't. I actually like when people listen to what I have to say. People tend to bore me though, so I don't try to talk to people outside of the group I associate with (nerds mostly) because I know I'd have nothing to say to them. When I do talk to others, it will usually be about video games, the internet, or comics. I can't seem to talk about other things because I don't care or don't know enough about it.

Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others

Well, I don't feel it, but I do recognize that I do have it. I probably don't think about it enough to make it an issue in my mind. I would rather be different from everyone else anyway.

Has no close friends

I fall under this one. I kind of have one. We've been friends since the 6th grade, but he lives 3 hours away. I don't feel any connection to him but it's still cool when I hang out with him and his hippie-like friend. I think it may be more of a "being around my type" connection though.

Indifferent to praise or criticism

Don't care when people criticize me because I know my problems but don't care about them. The only time I do care is when my dad or step-mom does it. I'm close to hating them both, but not quite there yet. I'd rather not be around them though. As for praise, though it doesn't make me feel any better I'd still rather hear people brag about me. I wouldn't mind someone telling others how awesome I am, and a lot of the times I pretend that I am super awesome, but it's only because it annoys other people or makes them laugh.

Aloof, cold affect

Not too sure what I could say here that I haven't said already to exemplify it, but yeah, I do tend to feel this way.

Exhibits little observable change in mood

I'm like this constantly, unless I'm making jokes and such. Everyone who doesn't know me thinks I'm angry or depressed but it's usually always that I'm bored and/or uninterested in what's going on.

Low sexual desire

For the most part, yeah. There are those slight moments that pop up but I'm not intent on acting them out. I'd rather mess around with machines and games, or write something stupid.

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For all those wondering about my dad and step-mom, since I don't mention them well, no, they're not bad people, just annoying people. There are those types of people you don't want to be around and they both fall under that category. My dad is stubborn, lazy, and asks the dumbest questions, and pesters me about things I already know but thinks I don't because I choose not to do it. He won't leave me alone when I want too and he's Christian so he's hung up on that "Obey your parents" crap. It's really wearing thin since I'm almost 18, I hardly do anything besides play games and use the computer, yet he thinks I'm like the average teenager who wants to go and do something stupid for a thrill, and here I am posting on a forum about mental disorders obviously showing that I'm not. I gave up with reasoning with him because he's pig-headed, and I don't intend to tell him anything about this. As for my step-mom, she has anger issues and nags too much. I hate people like that. I avoid both of them as much as possible and I can't wait to be free from them.
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Anyway, back onto topic. The main thing that will get me going is writing/drawing stupid and funny things, or learning something, but not in school. I hate school, high school especially. Haven't made an opinion on college yet. For the most part my life revolves around thinking up jokes, stories, joke stories, and comic ideas while playing video games when I don't feel like thinking about it anymore, or using the internet to learn more. I found this site because I wanted to learn more about why the way I am. If not this then I would probably be looking up the differences between Soft and Medium toothbrushes, which sound pointless, but I have a desire to know anything and everything about almost anything. Even if I find out that I am schizoid, I wouldn't care, because being like this has given me the sense of humor that I have, and an large amount of guts (balls as we guys would say.) I won't pop any pills and lose it. On top of that I don't care whether I'm like this or not, and currently not concerned with getting over it.

Well I'd have no idea, because as far as I know I dont have SPD. Mostly you can never be too sure unless you go and get diagnosed and even then I don't know..sometimes I'm not sure all those therapists really know what they are talking about. But I wouldn't know I've never been to one.

When I was younger, I actually found stuff about SPD, because I wanted to know why I was the way I was too. I was the 2nd quiestest kid in school, but back then I was also really depressed. What I have that others here don't is I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk. I have it so bad that I dont even like to go and pay a cashier...I wont do that yet if I'm tired in a store I will feel perfectly fine sitting on the floor right in the middle of the store..

Heh, I think parents thing with "Obey Your Parents" isn't just a Christian thing, so even if he wasn't you'd probably still have the same problem. My mom feels the same way sometimes about thinking I want to go out or something, less now that I'm older. She sometimes thinks I'm secretly depressed, because I don't do what people normally will go do.

As far as toothbrushes are concerned, I'm not sure about that one either, but my dentist always gives me a soft toothbrush though.

Anyway, you sound like your fine with the way you are and doing good, so I guess your right on track.

Caellic wrote: What I have that others here don't is I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk. I have it so bad that I dont even like to go and pay a cashier...I wont do that yet if I'm tired in a store I will feel perfectly fine sitting on the floor right in the middle of the store..

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified. I'm think pretty good at spotting the kinds of people I know I can't trust by the kinds of facial expressions they use... pretty good at seeing through people on average I think. also feel like I probably have a minor persecution complex going on, but that again is justified in that I think people think I'm not a very nice person since I look so pissed off all the time, so they treat me accordingly. If you don't look all happy and cheerful on the outside, people'll think you're evil and out to get them... it's sad that it's so engrained in this culture, can see it everywhere.

Like some adverts I saw recently on tv. An incompetent bank manager who is grossly overweight and badly dressed, treats his customers with a complete lack of respect (a "nationwide" bank advert for those in the UK, everytime that advert finishes I think... yes yes, nationwide is great and every other bank is $#%^, I get it). The customer of course, is well dressed, slim and not bad looking (the good guy). At the end of the advert he of course ditches the incompetent bank ran by the ugly fat badly dressed person and walks into a nationwide branch.

Another advert where 2 women are in an elevator, both who were trying for the same promotion (i think). The ugly one won the promotion and says to the good looking woman "I think we both agree they chose the right person" and smiles maliciously.. well, the wording is way off but thats the message.

Anyways.. I think you get my point, ugly/pissed off = evil, good looking and not looking pissed off = good, regardless of objective reality. (yeah this is obvious to most, just thought I'd have a kind of mini-rant of sorts)

edited to reflect accurate name of bank :p

Well we seem to have had the same interests at some point in our lives (I played and completed LTTP several years after it came out, read all the pages on Maddox's site several times over 4 years ago but haven't been on there recently, have been reading SomethingAwful.com in some form or other for 5 years and watched all the ANN episodes last week - the best was the TMNT movie review) and I like ridiculous jokes and stuff like that, writing garbage that probably isn't even funny but needs to exist (have been doing this in Notepad for years). Oh, and I also spent my childhood playing video games and watching kid's shows. Maybe this is common to the schizoids of our generation.

My parents are annoying too. I consider myself a lot less annoying than any other kid my age, so it baffles me when they always seem to get annoyed over little things that don't merit annoyance. They don't realise how good they have it, seriously.

Gareth Williams wrote:My parents are annoying too. I consider myself a lot less annoying than any other kid my age, so it baffles me when they always seem to get annoyed over little things that don't merit annoyance. They don't realise how good they have it, seriously.

Well my mom doesn't quite get annoyed of me, but as far as they don't realize how good they have it, I think that goes with my mom too.
My mom has called me spoiled before, which now I'll be okay with 'cuz I'm 19 still living at home. Heh but if she was ever mad at me that's what she will say is that I'm spoiled, but truthfully I'm cheaper than most. I don't buy cellphones, I dont buy mp3 players, ipods etc..., I dont need "the latest fashion" in clothes, I dont buy purses, I don't need name brand...I wouldnt even know if it was name brand or not, I dont need 100 dollar pair of sneakers or anything like that..oh and I didnt go to prom so no 100 dollar prom dress, I wasnt interested in graduation so no paying for class rings or anything like that. The most I get is books, half the time I'm paying for from bday money, rents movies which is for her benefit too, and the internet. Anytime she gets mad enough its always "Well shes just so spoiled, I should just take her computer away" Heh its the only thing she can take away from me..she cant ground me..I'm already home so yep my mom doesn't realize how good..she had it either. Heh I wont say she has it good now just because she has to still live with me, but still wasted all that complaining for nothing.

Side Note* My mom has never taken away my internet, she has absolutely no follow through and isn't strict at all.

Well my mom doesn't quite get annoyed of me, but as far as they don't realize how good they have it, I think that goes with my mom too.
My mom has called me spoiled before, which now I'll be okay with 'cuz I'm 19 still living at home. Heh but if she was ever mad at me that's what she will say is that I'm spoiled, but truthfully I'm cheaper than most. I don't buy cellphones, I dont buy mp3 players, ipods etc..., I dont need "the latest fashion" in clothes, I dont buy purses, I don't need name brand...I wouldnt even know if it was name brand or not, I dont need 100 dollar pair of sneakers or anything like that..oh and I didnt go to prom so no 100 dollar prom dress, I wasnt interested in graduation so no paying for class rings or anything like that. The most I get is books, half the time I'm paying for from bday money, rents movies which is for her benefit too, and the internet. Anytime she gets mad enough its always "Well shes just so spoiled, I should just take her computer away" Heh its the only thing she can take away from me..she cant ground me..I'm already home so yep my mom doesn't realize how good..she had it either. Heh I wont say she has it good now just because she has to still live with me, but still wasted all that complaining for nothing.

Side Note* My mom has never taken away my internet, she has absolutely no follow through and isn't strict at all.

Ha. My mom would never take away my internet because that would mean i have to use hers. LOL. And when i ever use anything of hers, it breaks. Not the computer being broken. The quote is "you broke the internet". LOL.


Im like. ORLY

bobalobugle wrote:

Caellic wrote: I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk.

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified.

i get anxious around people - not so much interaction like buying something in a shop, but if i have to be in close proximity - public transport is pretty much my worst nightmare. i don't trust people, i think people are physically repulsive and i get horribly anxious if i have to be around them.

dogtanian wrote:

bobalobugle wrote:

Caellic wrote: I actually do get anxious and get anxiety over some things. Not for the same reason most people do though, I just do and can't help it. Which was even more confusing to me and irritating. I could understand if I was like having anxiety over being afraid that they might not like me, or I might say something stupid or things like that, but I had anxiety for absolutely no reason I could think of except the fact that I was near a person and had to talk.

I can feel very very uncomfortable if I feel someone is trying to interact with me on more than a superficial level. I also have a lot of distrust for the average person, but I feel it's somewhat justified.

i get anxious around people - not so much interaction like buying something in a shop, but if i have to be in close proximity - public transport is pretty much my worst nightmare. i don't trust people, i think people are physically repulsive and i get horribly anxious if i have to be around them.

I seem to be kind of cyclic in that regard. Sometimes I really feel quite anxious and my thoughts race unbearably when having to be close to people... othertimes I'm completely indifferent. I haven't pinpointed exactly what causes it which is annoying, I know if I have gone for a long walk I don't get it.. I also know that taking ghb in the past has completely eliminated it, in fact a lot of those times I would say I actually enjoyed being around people.

There are occassions where I wont be anxious, especially if it's something I do all the time and I'm comfortable with it. It also depends on who the person is, what the situation is and all of that stuff. I still get anxious easily though. Like between ordering food, or going up and buying something, its a lot easier to order food. Although Im really quiet heh so I make sure to sit at the end of a table anytime i go to a restaurant. I don't like having to repeat myself 50 times or having to yell because everyone is deaf.

ColinBlueMoon,

It sounds as if you have some schizoid tendencies but it also sounds as if your relations with your parents are rather strained and causing you some stress. Also at your age, you'll have to soon start thinking about a career or college or at least getting a job if you ever want to be able to move out of your parents house. It could be that the way you feel ...or don't feel... is as much situational as anything else. You sound like an independent fellow and probably need to get your own place.
It also sounds like you have a real interest in writing and drawing comic book stuff. Which is really cool, I think. I've had a fascination with comic books for 45 yrs.! I also like to write and draw and for me going to college and getting my art degree was one of the best things I've ever done.
Graphic novels of all sorts are very popular these days. Joke books of any sort are perennially popular, so if you are interested in such things, it seems like it could be a good career for a schizoid. Maybe you ought to look into some college or art school. there are also opportunities for video game designers, though I think that tends to be a team effort and might be more difficult for anyone with schizoid characteristics.

Gary