longest intimate relationship if any?

Alex Foster wrote:Wow, nine months of physical intimacy. That sounds like a prison sentence to me. Respect.

and that was how it felt. i hated it. he was a nice enough guy, but i hated the physical side, i hated that he wanted to see me all the time, i hated that he was "there". i just wanted to be left alone.

but i was young, i was insecure, i thought i was a freak if i wanted to be alone, so i did stuff that was expected of me to stop the endless bitchy comments from other people. which was pathetic, in hindsight, and it screwed me up even more.

dogtanian wrote: i hated it. he was a nice enough guy, but i hated the physical side, i hated that he wanted to see me all the time, i hated that he was "there". i just wanted to be left alone.

That's how I thought a relationship would make me feel, which is why I never had one. People would tell me I didn't know what I was missing, but I had a pretty good idea.

dogtanian wrote: but i was young, i was insecure, i thought i was a freak if i wanted to be alone, so i did stuff that was expected of me to stop the endless bitchy comments from other people. which was pathetic, in hindsight, and it screwed me up even more.

Your reasons for getting into that situation are understandable--there are people who stay in relationships for those reasons their entire lives--good for you for getting out before you were *really* screwed up. *thumbs up*

thanks, but sadly it took me longer - i didn't have any more relationships, so to speak, but i had several more meaningless ... well, shags, to be blunt.

i think i thought that it was expected of a 18 to 23 year old to just shag about. i hated sex and i hated going out with people, so i would get blind drunk so as not to think about it.

after the age of 23 i spent about 3 years in and out of psych units because i'd managed to royally ###$ myself up.

but now i know i have to do what's good for me - i've cut down my acquaintances, i have only the friends i need (about 2 or 3 of them), and everyone else can take a long walk off a short pier. i know what's good for me and since i've realised i can do it without worrying about what others think, my stability has improved virtually by the day.

It sucks that you had to go through all that, dogtanian. About the only people I have sympathy for are fellow schizoids having to deal with 'normal' people.

dogtanian wrote:but now i know i have to do what's good for me - i've cut down my acquaintances, i have only the friends i need (about 2 or 3 of them), and everyone else can take a long walk off a short pier. i know what's good for me and since i've realised i can do it without worrying about what others think, my stability has improved virtually by the day.

That's been my experience since finding out about SPD, as well. Every day has been easier.

dogtanian wrote:i think i thought that it was expected of a 18 to 23 year old to just shag about. i hated sex and i hated going out with people, so i would get blind drunk so as not to think about it.

This is very sad

I guess if you had never gone into sex and alcohol you'd never ended up in Bedlam.

jradetzky wrote:

dogtanian wrote:i think i thought that it was expected of a 18 to 23 year old to just shag about. i hated sex and i hated going out with people, so i would get blind drunk so as not to think about it.

This is very sad

I guess if you had never gone into sex and alcohol you'd never ended up in Bedlam.

i think you may have a point. although there i just got it swapped for tranquilisers

but my psychiatrist formally discharged me today. i am officially stable