Happiness is a lie

Alex Foster wrote:I totally understand what you're saying--I'm the same way. I don't feel like life has a purpose, either and it seems to me that people who do think their life has a purpose are deluding themselves. I understand the concept of finding meaning in life, but it's not something I identify with at all. That's a typical schizoid thing, though. We just don't have the part that automatically connects with the human race in that way.

I think that only the intentions of living beeing can have a meaning. A life isn't an intention and thus cannot have meaning.
As for happiness I'm not a particualar fan of it. I prefer to do other things than try to be happy.

In yoga we strive for WAY beyond happiness. Since ancient times yoga (yoga = union of one's soul with all of Spirit) texts have spoken of the name for The Divine as "sat-chit-ananda": eternal, conscious, bliss .

Not happiness that's conditional upon little, temporary events in this world, but ecstatic, life-transforming joy that is buried in each of our souls [however trapped in mire they may be at any given moment (or year)].

I ain't been there yet, but even a little of the peace and light that I get keeps me hangin in there... through all the bizarre catastrophes of life.

Well I will be attending Yoga class next year as a part of my P.E classes (i decided for Yoga because it sounded interesting and was an alternative for the team sports).
This idea of bliss doesn't really tune in with me either. If I had to pick a metaphysicall idea as my goal, I would probabl pick "understanding". Seeking bliss seems too much like beeing a direct expiriencing participant instead of beeing an intellectual observer.

There is a line from Green Day that says: "everything isn't meant to be okay." When I heard that line for the first time, I thought people would be better off if they actually internalized that. You aren't meant to exist as a glossy magazine image of humanity, where you pull down six figures all while maintaining the perfect home and sex life. Your kids aren't all meant to be straight A, attractive, hetersexual, popular, gifted atheletes, perfect mini-mes that fullfill all of your wasted potential. Even relationships aren't meant to last forever (don't get me started on marriage...really). I think people have this image of the perfect happy life, and anything less than that ideal leaves them feeling as though they are lacking and not good enough. Their meaning is in chasing that artificial notion of the ideal life, as so many of you have stated. I also think that they tend to blame others when they aren't happy. If my daughter was straight, then everything would a-ok! I should have taken her to church more often. If my son hadn't dropped out of college, then I would feel better about myself as a parent. If my partner wasn't depressed then I would be happy, I must be a lousy wife/husband. People that depend on others to make themselves happy or prove something about themselves are kind of doomed, in my opinion. The ones that get through life with a general sense of contentedness are the ones who have more realistic expectations and don't look to others to fulfill these ideas they have about themselves. However, most "normal" people who value relationships don't seem to be able to do that. How many of them go around in a fog exclaiming, if I was smarter/thinner/funnier I would be a better person, and therefore, happier?

I think people that really do not care about others or relationships exist in a more stable emotional range. "Normal" people do have their highs, 'I'm going to have a baby!' and then the tedium sets in or the realization of what that goal or life stage actually means and they sink back down into the..."Oh crap, I'm not happy, what will make my happy now?" Having another baby? Dropping the pregnancy weight? Getting a job? They then have a new goal to work towards. I think maybe most people get some sense of enjoyment from that, of I'm working towards making myself happy, so I feel a little happy now in anticipation. Once they get there, bliss is fleeting. A new goal is required. For most people, I think it really is the journey (although I doubt they'd agree).

What's wrong with "good enough"? That's my question to most people. Very few things are "fun" to me. I like to write and I like to read fiction. I also like to study and take classes (I need the classes/schedule or I wouldn't have the discipline to study at all). If I won $50 million dollars in the lottery, I would live very much like I do right now, except that I would quit my job and take classes part-time with the anticipation of...NOTHING. Just for shits and giggles. All I really want is enough money to pay my rent so that I can sit home and read and write. I don't really see the point in relationships, because they just don't "work" in the way that most people want them to. They look at the next gf/bf as a potential soulmate, someone to grow old with. That's a nice sentiment if you go for that sort of thing, except that a lot of people just settle for anyone to grow old with instead of finding SOMEONE. I'm seeing a very nice, smart, beautiful woman. I have no intentions of spending the rest of my life with her. The relationship will not progress past what it is now. I'm perfectly fine with that because I do not love her or feel much for her beyond friendship. I doubt I would be too torn up if the relationship ended either. I place no happiness on the relationship, except convenience. When it ends, if I want another, I will have to go socialize and find someone new. That will be a pain in the ass. Therefore, I am not happy in my relationship, I am merely staving off the annoying point in my future when I will need to socialize to find a new gf.

I think what we (if I am schizoid) don't "get" is that while we find enjoyment/contentedness (pick whatever word floats your boat) in solitary activities, that those have MEANING to us because those activities pull us from our internal angst tpwards life in general, the "normal" people that we are surrounded by have different tugs on their contentedness. These people must seek out others for that same enjoyment/contentedness that we can get from opening a book, playing an instrument, staring blankly while contemplating our existence. If you don't like contentedness then how about "forgetting how stupid and pointless life in general is." I think that these "normal" people find their meaning in things revolving around others. So the "normal" person has many balls in the air and must keep grabbing them and tossing them back up so that they stay in their happy/content state. One of these is their family, one of these is their spouse/partner, a multitude of these are friendships, one of these is their worklife. Their meaning is derived from managing all of them, even though at any time they may be actively engaged with keeping ahold of and focusing on just one, before they toss it in the air to actively work on another. They have so many things to juggle that they hardly ever think about how pointless the world and life is, they are too busy thinking of keeping all those pesky balls in the air. Alas, when one of them falls!

That's a hell of a lot of work for no rewards if you aren't built like a "normal" person. Since my happiness/contendness/whatever isn't based on people, or myself in relation to people, I juggle nothing. I could wake up tomorrow and move to a new town, taking nothing with me. As long as I had money in the bank to get an apartment and furnish it, get a library card, and write...I would be just as content as I am right now. My life isn't built around juggling others or aspects of myself to present to others. I know most people would say, oh it's the simple things in life that make one happy. I'm not sure how looking at a grinning baby that's just passed gas should make me delighted at being alive. Or why I'm supposed to feel warm and fuzzy inside when someone wants to press their body up against mine and squish me. Hugs are just insanely weird.

The point of my long ass diatribe is that happiness is an illusion. It's like the present. The minute you say this is the present, it's in the past. Maybe that's a simplistic way of looking at it, but I guess I'm just a simple girl. I think people look for different things to relieve themselves of the burden that life is pointless and tedius. People that don't value other people just have a lot more time on their hands and fewer opportunites to escape that truth.

GnarledCynic wrote:This has nothing to do with the Kabbalah you probably heard of on television (aka mysticism and similar money-making #######4) nor is it about religion.
It has a lot more to do with science, actually, than mysticism\ religion\ philosophy.
From one cynic to another- this is worth reading. It is the most logical thing I’ve ever read, with a strong basis, and it actually relies on modern science

I read some of it (the pages under the "What is Kabbalah" heading)
and it mentioned "the Creator", "Him", "the spiritual world", "the
upper light", "upper world", etc. - concepts that appear to have
more to do with religion/mysticism than science. Also, how can it
be based on modern science, if it's ancient wisdom that has been
hidden for thousands of years?

There is nothing scientific about this! I was right- nonsense.


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