Schizoid or Autistic?

Hello everyone, I'm 22 and I'm from the UK, you can call me Dave.

I have been previously assessed for Asperger's Syndrome and was told after the long and mentally exhausting two hours that I was simply "socially awkward" but I don't feel I was being completely honest as my mother was there with me.

I personally believe that I have a Schizoid Personality Disorder, but all the traits of SPD are similar to the traits of ASD and my mother keeps pushing for me to get assessed for ASD. I've been to therapists before, but they have told me that there is nothing wrong with me. I am not looking for something wrong for me, but I am looking for an explanation as to why I am the way I am.

A brief personality overview, I am very nervous when it comes to meeting people, even if I have previously met them many times before, I have turned down many meet-ups with friends due to this. Even meeting family members causes me great anxiety. I have never really had many friends, even at school, I was always on my own up until about the age of 15 when I got my first girlfriend and it all went downhill from there, really, I stayed with her for a year or so and then I got another girlfriend straight after, which was a disaster also. I did have sex with both girlfriend's but I did not enjoy it very much, I've had a few one off sexual encounters which I also did not enjoy. I've been single since 3-4 years ago.

Also, I don't like to admit it but I am a self-harmer, but I have been clean for about 2 years which I am happy about. I started cutting at 11, but I used to scratch and bite myself from the age of about 6-7, I even recall at the age of about 6 writing a "suicide note" and leaving it on the bottom step for my mum to find, I don't really remember what I wrote, I just remember that my intention was to jump out of my bedroom window. Anyway, I'm trailing off now, I'm not sure of what else to write, if anyone has any questions or advice that would help me to find an explanation to why I am the way I am, please post them.

Thanks

Why do you believe you have SPD, not an Aspergers?

Can you "get" what people are saying or do you take things literally?

Do you have trouble understanding social situations?

Do you desire to be friends with people but are unable to do so and don't know why?

Do you have any specific interests that you pursue or talk about with other people?

Do you have a routine and get angry when it is disrupted?

RedSoviet wrote:Can you "get" what people are saying or do you take things literally?

Do you have trouble understanding social situations?

Do you desire to be friends with people but are unable to do so and don't know why?

Do you have any specific interests that you pursue or talk about with other people?

Do you have a routine and get angry when it is disrupted?

Try an eye emotional intelligence test. If you score far below the average score for most people it's a sign that you can't read emotions that well,which is more of a sign of autism. If so, then I would look to being reassessed again.

http://kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu/mite/

There may be nothing wrong with you but some sort of social anxiety. But really it's important that you tell the truth when you are being assessed if you want to really get to the bottom of it- so you should answer with your mom outside the room or tell her you could not answer accurately with her in the room.

I will say that really well functioning Asperger's can seem to not have as much trouble reading cues because they have been able to compensate for it by now.

Also-assess how you reacted in your childhood. Was it obvious you were 'behind' the other kids?

I thought i may have an autistic problem because growing up I always seemed to be socially behind other children. It would take me a year or two extra to reach the point that they were emotionally .Just things like quitting playing with dolls, noticing attractiveness in other people, being able to take care of my own hygiene, etc. However, I don't seem to have trouble reading cues at all or understanding language and abstract meanings. I definitely have the capability. I suspect I may just have pretty bad inattentive ADHD which makes it very hard for me to notice the cues...

Of course ADHD and Asperger's can start mimicing each other and most people with Asperger's have aDHD too.

I'm going with the theory that you're normal, although get tested if you must.

This is because:

Everybody takes a while to develop social skills. We often feel like other people have better social skills when in fact they don't. Some anxiety when you are still young might be because you recognise you are still at an awkward age.

You said you didn't enjoy sex. It takes some practice and maturity to enjoy sex. Before that it's all very awkward. Teenagers are still very self-centred and can't think of the communication and the to and fro of it.

I'm sorry to hear that you are harming yourself. Is there another outlet? Talking to a therapist is one option but if you don't feel comfortable getting into music or art or writing can help.

Keep practicing, keep trying with your social skills. Observe people who seem competent. Read some books or just some wiki articles about emotional intelligence and so forth. Anything which taps your interest. And again, just keep at it, and you will learn over time, regardless of whether you have a diagnosis or not.

SpeckledUnicorn wrote:Try an eye emotional intelligence test. If you score far below the average score for most people it's a sign that you can't read emotions that well,which is more of a sign of autism. If so, then I would look to being reassessed again.

http://kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu/mite/

[...]

I will say that really well functioning Asperger's can seem to not have as much trouble reading cues because they have been able to compensate for it by now.

that last point is important. i just did the test and i scored 30 out of 36 (the average is 26), but i'm diagnosed with aspergers (and adhd). one thing that i could notice though is that i would probably have gotten most answers wrong if i hadn't stopped to think each time. and with many of those faces i could explain why i chose the answer that i did (i don't think most people can do that. they just either know the answer or don't)

ps: they say that high scores correlate with "team-based problem solving". that's hilarious. i am not a team player... all my efforts in such situations are usually focused on either handing all the responsibility over to someone else or taking it all on myself, and on hiding and disguising that it's because i don't want to put up with other people's individual judgements and limitations. i got enough of my own to deal with already

Well I have pdd-nos so maybe I can chime in a bit. an old thread I know, but it's informative for anyone who is wondering the same:

ASD = Intellectual disability, little to no interest in socializing with others/social skills defect, completely self-absorbed in own world, restricted and repetitive interests and behaviors.

Aspergers = Normal or above average intelligence, interest in others (in an overly active/friendly sort of way), restricted and repetitive interests and behaviors.

pdd-nos (differs widely, but all the people I've met who have this usually display the following traits) =
Normal intelligence, at times self-absorbed in own world to resolve conflicts or receive ego gratification, no social deficit/some interest in others (but still highly introverted), restricted and repetitive interests and behaviors.

SPD = Normal intelligence, little to no interest in socializing with others, self-absorbed in own world, repetitive lifestyle, anhedonia and apathy.

SPD then, is related closest to an ASD, but with normal intelligence , and the addition of anhedonia/apathy, but develops due to abuse rather than a neurological basis.