How to be successful

Alex Foster wrote:My chief goal from day to day is to be left alone, which doesn't work out when people expect me to care about them and seek out their company. How do you get out of social obligations brought about by being personable?

The expectation to attend social events can range from difficult to frightening. I don't like it and get out of it whenever possible. If I feel my attendance is neccessary then I just go and ensure that I talk to the quitest, mousiest person in the room. You know that they won't ask you anything so you can just talk about bland boring $#%^ without really having to be interesting or care too much about what they think of you.

If you can not get that situation to work for you then just suck it up as best you can.

CVD wrote:I also cant remember names at all, even of people who I have known for some time.

I have the exact same problem. I don't care so why would I remember names? I don't do anything about it except tell people that I am terrible at remembering names, they don't really seem to care if I remember their name or not.

Dex,

You've divorced three times and you think you're successful? Kind of ironic isn't it? Hi, I'm Dex, I'm successful, but my last three marriages have been unsuccessful

And BTW, it's very rare for a schizoid to marry even once; you've married four times now. I highly doubt you are schizoid, in fact I'm certain you are not.

dex wrote:Just wanted to add a little something to my post. Unless you become really good at pretending, don't let anyone get too close, they will detect your faking and that could cause problems

Like it did with your three previous marriages?

Dex: Please read the whole post next time before you reply.
No where (NO where) in my post do I state that I lack goals. All I said was that Schizoids have very different (if any) goals. My personal goals are like that - different. I just want to live alone, doing my stuff and not having to be forced upon people coz of a job or school.

aloofiam wrote:Dex,

You've divorced three times and you think you're successful? Kind of ironic isn't it? Hi, I'm Dex, I'm successful, but my last three marriages have been unsuccessful

Agreed.
He sounds more like "Avoidant personality disorder".
SPD and 4 marriages just dont go together.

BTW dex, what do you really mean when you say you dont like apartments? I ask coz you are the first "schizoid" I hear about who doesn't like the fact that there are other persons living a few meters outside your "safe area".
Personally, I dont understand what you are talking about. I have my area, my apartment, and as long as no one enters my area, Im fine and can do all my schizoid interests. I have no problem living with the fact that other people lives in the building - no problem at all. And you know why? Because they do not bother me or my area. At it's "worst" they greet me, and whats so horrible about that? Its not like I have to stay around and chat with them for 10 minutes, or invite them into my apartment. My neighbors are very distant and uncaring (about my bussiness), and I am happy with that.

Nah, you sound more like you got APD (Avoidant personality disorder) with some characteristics of paranoia and/or xenophobia.

aloofiam wrote:Dex,

You've divorced three times and you think you're successful? Kind of ironic isn't it? Hi, I'm Dex, I'm successful, but my last three marriages have been unsuccessful

I said that I have a successful carreer. Not that I had been successful in personal relationships.

And BTW, it's very rare for a schizoid to marry even once; you've married four times now. I highly doubt you are schizoid, in fact I'm certain you are not.

I did not say that SPD was my only issue.

Artificial Lifeform wrote:Dex: Please read the whole post next time before you reply.

Please take your own advice. See above responce.

aloofiam wrote:

dex wrote:Just wanted to add a little something to my post. Unless you become really good at pretending, don't let anyone get too close, they will detect your faking and that could cause problems

Like it did with your three previous marriages?

Yes

dex wrote:

aloofiam wrote:

dex wrote:Just wanted to add a little something to my post. Unless you become really good at pretending, don't let anyone get too close, they will detect your faking and that could cause problems

Like it did with your three previous marriages?

Yes

Does your current wife know the real you or are you misleading her too?

aloofiam wrote:

dex wrote:

aloofiam wrote:

dex wrote:Just wanted to add a little something to my post. Unless you become really good at pretending, don't let anyone get too close, they will detect your faking and that could cause problems

Like it did with your three previous marriages?

Yes

Does your current wife know the real you or are you misleading her too?

She knows me. We are vertually the same.