Hello

Hi, I've been lurking around here a bit, mainly in the schizoid forum and I've always considered myself to have a lot in common with the schizoid personality disorder. It seems to fit me to a T. So, I recently self-diagnosed myself and I feel pretty confident about that. Here's my characteristics from the DSM-IV

(1) neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family-
I have no desire for a relationship with anyone. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. Spending my life with someone doesn't appeal to me. On the contrary though I do feel close to my family, and I do love them. I never express this love though, saying "I love you", initiating hugs, ect.

(2) almost always chooses solitary activities-
All the time. I love to read and spend time on the computer. I find little enjoyment doing things with others. I even find that when I am with my family I do tend to isolate myself on the computer or in my books, whether I intend to or not. I certainly don't mind going to movies with them though, or doing some activities with them like taking a walk.

(3) has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person-I have no interest in having sex with another person at all. I'm Asexual.

(4) takes pleasure in few, if any, activities-I guess you could call them a few. This is all I do: read, play on the computer, surf the net, watch movies or tv, and occasionally listen to music or draw.

(5) lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives-I don't have any close friends, just a couple online, which I don't always chat with either because I sometimes find IMing difficult. My family and my pets are my friends.

(6) appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others-Sometimes yes, other times no. I've accepted compliments, but only because it is the expected thing to do. I could usually careless because it just doesn't matter to me. I think I can be pretty sensitive to criticism though, but I'm starting to learn to take things less personally.

(7) shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity-I'm sure I appear this way to others whether it's true or not. Most of the time I have a neutral face, but sometimes others misinterpret it as me being upset. I'm usually content at the time though. I only smile when I find something amusing or I'm really happy. People have told me to smile more, but I don't see the point in it if you're feeling neutral most of the time.

I also have no goals in life, other than to be able to pursue my interests. That's really all I need to be happy.

Now I have a couple of questions for you guys

1)Do you feel you can connect with a person more when they share your interest, online or offline?
2) Do you not mind talking if you're interested in the subject being talked about?

Hi, Ghostgurl,
It sounds like you could get a diagnosis for SPD if you wanted to see a psychiatrist about it. Certainly, you seem to fit the characteristics well enough, and there is nothing inherently wrong with self-diagnosis. The only thing is for it to be a disorder, it should seriously interfere with your life or at least make you extremely unhappy. Otherwise, you are just a very solitary person who doesn't show much emotion. Because you are different doesn't necessarily make you disordered.

Gary

ghostgurl wrote:1)Do you feel you can connect with a person more when they share your interest, online or offline?

I used to go to a cafe placed near an isolated park, so it was empty most of the time. They owner was of the silent type. I spent my breaks there trying to recharge my energies reading a book. One day I paid attention to the music and to, my surprise, I recognized some songs from The Arcade Fire, Wolf Parade and Modest Mouse. I live in Spain and these albums weren't even on sale yet, not to mention that I hadn't met anyone else that shared my musical interests. I talked with him for a while about other bands we hadn't listened to. I never came back. I had to settle for a popular cafe were no one knew me. A human presence is tiring for me, but often unbearable if I don't control when they interact.

Answering your question, I connect with a person that shares my interests in the sense that I reaffirm my loyalty to them, but that doesn't put the person in another category. It is often worse, as that person would expect some kind of bonding. They would only find coldness that they sometimes interpret as hostility.

ghostgurl wrote:2) Do you not mind talking if you're interested in the subject being talked about?

I enjoy arguing about a subject that interests me. I wouldn't open my mouth otherwise, as I can't stand small talk. But most people bring a subject just to state their opinion, which they often think as true as any other because they happen to hold it. They get defensive if you ask for their reasons. If I am with someone that argues intelligently and uses a healthy amount of irony, I will enjoy his or her presence and I probably won't regret having met him or her. That is rare, though.

I can relate to much of what you have said.

neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family-
I have no desire for a relationship with anyone. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. Spending my life with someone doesn't appeal to me. On the contrary though I do feel close to my family, and I do love them. I never express this love though, saying "I love you", initiating hugs, ect.

Exactly like myself I have had some previous relationships with women (they have always asked me out) but I didn't honestly enjoy being with them much, infact when I broke up with them I was relieved to be single again. I have never wanted to marry or have kids either I knew before I reached my teens. I do definately care for my family but like you said I don't show affection or show feelings or get emotional close like that.

takes pleasure in few, if any, activities-I guess you could call them a few. This is all I do: read, play on the computer, surf the net, watch movies or tv, and occasionally listen to music or draw.

I do hardly anything, I go on the computer to go on the internet (most of the day is common), play videogames (that isn't as much these days), watch a movie or tv, ossasionally I'll see a movie in the cinema and have a drink in the pub I listen to music as well but thats it, thats all I do. Going to college doesn't count either. I don't get much enjoyement out of these things really what I can say though is I enjoy a really good movie or videogame. Nothing much else comes to mind. I mean most people get excited about going abroad on holiday and I'm lucky to of been abroad so many times and to be still 22. However I don't seem to enjoy these holidays as much as others or my own family though I wish I did . I'm not saying I hate these holiday far from it but feel I'm not as hyped about them as most. It's when it gets into the 2nd week of the holiday I really feel I want to get back home so I can be alone all day. If I couldn't go off on my own at night when on holiday I would crack. Spending all day with my family for nearly 2 weeks can feel draining

shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity-I'm sure I appear this way to others whether it's true or not. Most of the time I have a neutral face, but sometimes others misinterpret it as me being upset. I'm usually content at the time though. I only smile when I find something amusing or I'm really happy. People have told me to smile more, but I don't see the point in it if you're feeling neutral most of the time.

Same here I have no emotion most of the time and it doesn't show (straight faced) I'm told I look sad or angry especially by people outside of my family the fact is like you said I am content perfectly fine. However people seem to think something is wrong with me because I don't smile every 10 seconds. I don't get very excited over things very much not even on my own Birthday last month or Christmas. I'm just very calm over pretty much everything. This comes down to myself and most people with the Schizoid personality/disorder being "unflappable" (not being easily upset, angered or excited).


1)Do you feel you can connect with a person more when they share your interest, online or offline?

Sort of I mean talking to someone who likes something your into is ok but I never want that person to become "close friends" with me even if we can get on well, I never take peoples numbers to hang out nor do I stay in contact with people outside of college especially. I admit the very few friends I've had (most were loners too) I only saw them to play videogames really I've never had any "close" friend I think.

2) Do you not mind talking if you're interested in the subject being talked about?

Again talking about something I'm into is ok but I find even talking about something I like is pointless and boring or when I hear others talking about it I don't enjoy talking much I guess. What ever I may be about.

Yea thats SPD.
You are almost like me.

1)Do you feel you can connect with a person more when they share your interest, online or offline?
Yes.

2) Do you not mind talking if you're interested in the subject being talked about?
No I mostly don't mind talking about things that I like/I am interested in.

ghostgurl wrote:1)Do you feel you can connect with a person more when they share your interest, online or offline?
2) Do you not mind talking if you're interested in the subject being talked about?

1: on a relatively superficial level. if i get dragged to a party or gathering (for instance weddings etc that are hard to get out of) and someone has a shared interest then i find it easier to talk to them on the day. but it doesn't make me want to see them again. if i do, fair enough, we can carry on the chat about mutual interest, but i wouldn't go out of my way to initiate it. as someone else said, sometimes it makes it harder because the person expects that because you like the same record or book you must be soul mates or something - if you share an interest people seem to want to claim on your entire self.

i have 3 people IRL (as well as my little brother, to some extent) and 1 or 2 online who i have some kind of connection with, but the IRL people it seems to be more about having known eachother for years because i have very very little in common with 2 of them. the online people i often block on MSN and stuff because i can't be doing with chatting to them, even though they seem ok really.

2: oh yeah, i can waffle for ages about purely intellectual stuff. i really enjoy my degree and am reasonably ok with giving presentations in class and quite happy with contributing to class as required. i can also waffle about the subject matter out of class. for instance my parents are both historians by nature and my did is a vicar and did theology so intellectually we have a lot in common (i do politics, philosophy and history) and i can talk to them for a long time about those things. it's just as soon as they start bringing up anything "family" or emotion type stuff, i shut down.

dogtanian wrote: ... so intellectually we have a lot in common (i do politics, philosophy and history) and i can talk to them for a long time about those things. it's just as soon as they start bringing up anything "family" or emotion type stuff, i shut down.

it's a pity that with people, you always have to take the whole package, cause when someone starts seeing you as a friend, they expect you to keep in touch and care about a whole lot of other stuff and i don't have the energy, nor the desire to do so.

(then again, in a perfect world ( to my standards), i still don't think i would talk much)