Insipid conversation

AC and dogtanian, that irritates me no end. Usually, as soon as they make the 'Poor Tiny Tim, all alone at the holiday,' face I say, 'No, it's all right. I like being by myself.'

To which I receive a couple responses:

1. A look of incredulity, as if I must just be saying that so as to not appear lonely

2. 'But no one wants to be alone on Christmas!' Proving that either they truly can't imagine a person who'd be happy alone or that they know Christmas gatherings are experiments in social hell and I shouldn't think I can escape them since everyone else has to be tortured, as well.

Alex Foster wrote:Proving that either they truly can't imagine a person who'd be happy alone or that they know Christmas gatherings are experiments in social hell and I shouldn't think I can escape them since everyone else has to be tortured, as well.

Haha...you know, it's interesting that you say that. Do you ever find yourself wondering if people just come together and all suffer for each other? Instead of mutually beneficial relationships, I wonder if society causes humans to form mutually harmful relationships. I suffer for you, and because of that, I expect you to suffer for me. In the end we both lose. Is this simply nothing more than my own biased schizoid viewpoint on social interaction?

AC

Alex Foster wrote:AC and dogtanian, that irritates me no end. Usually, as soon as they make the 'Poor Tiny Tim, all alone at the holiday,' face I say, 'No, it's all right. I like being by myself.'

To which I receive a couple responses:

1. A look of incredulity, as if I must just be saying that so as to not appear lonely

2. 'But no one wants to be alone on Christmas!' Proving that either they truly can't imagine a person who'd be happy alone or that they know Christmas gatherings are experiments in social hell and I shouldn't think I can escape them since everyone else has to be tortured, as well.

slightly off topic, i was watching wife swap the other night, and there was a woman who had kids, but no man, and who was fiercely independent and didn't want a man in the household because she ran it how she liked, she could be how she wanted, and men were always trouble.

the other wife was a real homebody, very dutiful, did everything for her husband (who, frankly, was a total $#%^ who apparently still thought women were only good for domestic drudgery and sex on tap) but she told the single woman she needed a man. when the single woman denied it, the couple just couldn't believe/accept it. they were saying she was in denial and how could any woman live without a man, blah blah.

it's not exactly schizoid but i could totally relate. i tell my mum i like being alone, i like doing social things alone (ie i go for meals by myself, i go to films/plays/concerts by myself, because i like it better that way) and she thinks i'm either lying or deluded.

i'm neither. i just prefer my own company.

Acid Crystal wrote:

Alex Foster wrote:Proving that either they truly can't imagine a person who'd be happy alone or that they know Christmas gatherings are experiments in social hell and I shouldn't think I can escape them since everyone else has to be tortured, as well.

Haha...you know, it's interesting that you say that. Do you ever find yourself wondering if people just come together and all suffer for each other? Instead of mutually beneficial relationships, I wonder if society causes humans to form mutually harmful relationships. I suffer for you, and because of that, I expect you to suffer for me. In the end we both lose. Is this simply nothing more than my own biased schizoid viewpoint on social interaction?

AC

I've wondered that as well--if people really enjoy being social or if they're pretending because they think they're supposed to. I really believe some people enjoy being social. Most people seem to need other people to some degree, it seems. That's why solitary confinement in prison is considered a punishment. I mean, if ever you'd not want to be around your peers it'd be in prison, right? But prisoners prefer being with their fellow inmates over being alone twenty-two hours a day. Boggles me mind, it do.

dogtanian wrote:

Alex Foster wrote:AC and dogtanian, that irritates me no end. Usually, as soon as they make the 'Poor Tiny Tim, all alone at the holiday,' face I say, 'No, it's all right. I like being by myself.'

To which I receive a couple responses:

1. A look of incredulity, as if I must just be saying that so as to not appear lonely

2. 'But no one wants to be alone on Christmas!' Proving that either they truly can't imagine a person who'd be happy alone or that they know Christmas gatherings are experiments in social hell and I shouldn't think I can escape them since everyone else has to be tortured, as well.

when the single woman denied it, the couple just couldn't believe/accept it. they were saying she was in denial and how could any woman live without a man, blah blah.

I don't get why some people cannot invision another person feeling/believing something other than what they do. If that makes sense. It's like some people think no one else has thoughts. Or that the only conclusions that can be reached are the ones they've reached. When someone says, 'I just can't imagine feeling [insert feeling here]!' I'm tempted to say, 'That's fine because I'm not you. When I AM you I'll feel the way you do, m'kay? Have a nice day!'

dogtanian wrote:it's not exactly schizoid but i could totally relate. i tell my mum i like being alone, i like doing social things alone (ie i go for meals by myself, i go to films/plays/concerts by myself, because i like it better that way) and she thinks i'm either lying or deluded.

i'm neither. i just prefer my own company.

That should be our tagline. I'm schizoid! My own company is all I need!

Alex Foster wrote:I've wondered that as well--if people really enjoy being social or if they're pretending because they think they're supposed to. I really believe some people enjoy being social. Most people seem to need other people to some degree, it seems. That's why solitary confinement in prison is considered a punishment. I mean, if ever you'd not want to be around your peers it'd be in prison, right? But prisoners prefer being with their fellow inmates over being alone twenty-two hours a day. Boggles me mind, it do.

i know that for years i pretty much pretended. but now i'm sick of pretending.

i agree about solitary, that would be great for me! i got asked the other day if i was sent to a desert island, which three people would i take? and i said no-one, just books, films and music.

When I was eight my teacher explained to the class what solitary confinement was and I thought it sounded great!

Then at fifteen our teacher went around and talked about what each of us would be like when we grew up, ending with me, 'You're the only person in this room who would be fine in solitary confinement.' And she said it was pride--telling the class I was the only independently minded person there. I was proud someone'd noticed.

dogtanian wrote:... but she told the single woman she needed a man. when the single woman denied it, the couple just couldn't believe/accept it. they were saying she was in denial and how could any woman live without a man, blah blah.

it's not exactly schizoid but i could totally relate. i tell my mum i like being alone, i like doing social things alone (ie i go for meals by myself, i go to films/plays/concerts by myself, because i like it better that way) and she thinks i'm either lying or deluded.

my parents are the same. I have never mentioned the word schizoid, but i have dropped hints. i have told them that i hate those social events cause they're boring (actually the people, not the concept, or at least not that much) and that i'd probably be counting down the hours-to-go anyway.
They think it's a phase and that i should go cause that's wat young people should be doing...

My sister’s even worse, she tries to hook me up and because i hardly ever show interest in anyone she has reached the conclusion that i am way to ‘picky’.
... and i guess she’s right, i am hard to please

Alex Foster wrote: Most people seem to need other people to some degree, it seems. That's why solitary confinement in prison is considered a punishment.

to punish a schizoid, they 'd have to be a bit more creative (clockwork orange style )

paradox wrote:my parents are the same. I have never mentioned the word schizoid, but i have dropped hints. i have told them that i hate those social events cause they're boring (actually the people, not the concept, or at least not that much) and that i'd probably be counting down the hours-to-go anyway.

so are mine. they're totally convinced that alone = lonely. i have tried to explain but really, i just don't really bother because they'll never understand it.

Yes, there's no point. But I don't blame them, as I just can't understand why they feel confortable when they socialize. At least we understand the difference. For too many years I thought there was a mind like mine trapped beneath justifications, so I had to push harder to know them. There's an abyss between us and 'normal' people, and there's no other way to live than accepting it. Which I am quite sure you already know.