starting my new life

Hi, this is my first post here.

Im an Australian male close to 22 years old, and i have good reason to believe that i have some of the core parts of a schizoid personality.

I can remember being lonely most of the time when i was very young, and this began to distress me when i entered high school. in fact looking back in retrospect i can clearly see myself as someone who lacks the essential know how of the human relationships in my regular routine. i never felt that i was part of a group. there were also plenty of oportunities for me to express myself to gain more friends, and even times when i was invited into the socialisation of others, but did not keep it up.

there is also another recent factor which gives me a different kind of perspective. i have been able to track down some old psychological & psychiatrical counselors reports to learn a bit mroe about myself:
- i was considered odd by me peers
- i prefered mostly solitary activities
- i lacked a diversity of experience during adolesence
- i appeared perplexed by emotions of others
- my tastes and preferences in all things were highly idiosycratic
- i showed coldness and had yet to come out of a shell
- sometimes my speech implied i was slow
- i was an underachiever

As an example, this showed a young man who was unlikely to become an elibable bachelor.

however i am determined to wipe the slate clean, turn over a new leaf, and restart my life in a new part of the world. at the moment i am engaging myself in goal set physicall training, i am organising my education with correspondance mobile courses through mail, and begining study next year in Sydney technical college for a variety of things, i am looking seriously for a new form of employment that will result in a career and at least an income to clear my debts, im going to learn to drive, im going to move home closer to the big city, im going to go out to socialise more often, and im also trying to catch up to some of my old friends that i have left.

i will definately try to remake myself for the new century. is there perhaps anyone else out there who is trying the same? i would like to hear from you, and learn about your own treatment against this problem.

updates will keep coming

...

Hmm... From what you have described I cannot help but think that you may have Asperger's syndrome. I suggest you look into AS a bit.

Answers.com has a lot on AS, here is the link.

Yes, my problems have been consistant with the symptoms of aspergers syndrome, but im sure my condition is schizoid for a few reasons.

- i dont devote excessive interests into memorising dates and times
- i dont have hand flapping habits, but i do pick my nails and scratch my calluses on my palms
- i am not confused nor unreceptive of facial expressions
- i have not receeded into simple repeditive tasks

i am still having some difficulty breaking out of my shell, or as i like to call it escaping from my trap. i tried "going out" a while ago, but i found it mroe demoralising rather than helpfull because of the difficulty i have with socialising with strangers i am unfamilar with. although i have been successfull with this sort of thing in the past, i just cant see myself ever really being one of the usual crowd in these places - i just feel too different to some people