Animals vs Human interaction

I am a nice person, very calm. I can interact well with people and have great conversation, but as many with this personality can relate to that the emotions expected from many people is something we cannot completely give. We can play the role and we know how to treat people, respect people. But, the emotions are just not really there or not enough.

I feel i interact well with animals, dog, horses, cats, etc. I'm able to give them love, feed them, be playful with them, etc. But, with humans nothing i do is enough. They say i'm too distant, secretive, cold, not caring, etc. I say in my head...If i didn't care why would i even interact with you or be around you? Why would i continue to keep you in my life? Why would i cook for you? Why would i enjoy just sitting with you? I always thought maybe they were asking for too much, but really i just lack the ability to really give the emotions, "have attachments." Learning how to now.

I get the right dose from horses and dogs and other animals. Seems they appreciate what you give and understand.

What i am asking is does anyone else relate? Do you feel like attachment and keeping up the interaction is easier with animals than with humans? Like the right dosage of closeness you feel emotionally comes from animals and humans it can be a bit overwhelming?

I hope someone can relate and that i don't sound like a cold individual.

animals are preferable to humans. Simply seeing one is enough for me. People are overwhelming and stifling. I think I agree with you.

Slab wrote:animals are preferable to humans. Simply seeing one is enough for me. People are overwhelming and stifling. I think I agree with you.

Do you think when people see how attentive we can be with animals (or something like that)... the person thinks we are being distant to he/she on purpose?

People cannot be trusted. Animals are always honest and their emotions are always real.

Oh wow!! I can relate to something finally on this forum..

I am the same, I can hold down conversation with people.. I do laugh, I find things funny and I am a caring and intelligent, I do have emotions..

As the poster above said humans can NOT be trusted, and they cant.. people are naturally selfish, people can not be trusted.. I do not even trust my own mother, Although I do get lonely or bored this year I am getting a dog and I hope this loneliness goes.. animals are very trustworthy they will not let you down and most dogs especially will die for you, animals will Love you for you, humans might love/like you because of your attractiveness or your money..

Humans are in too much of a rush.. they live around money, greed and power.. its all about what they can get with people, when I go out I am ALWAYS looking at people thinking your just stupid, why are you dressing like an idiot, why are you talking funny.. why do you have to act like an idiot, I look at people and think idiots.. people are stupid, they are greedy, selfish and needy..

I go to the pub at times and although I want conversation I avoid people because they are just stupid

I don't know... I've never been much attached to animals either. I'm OK with dogs, but I don't consider myself suitable for dealing with dogs right now.

I find some of Cesar Millan's ideas interesting, especially his ideas about 'calm-assertive energy'. Animals are much more spiritual than humans. They can feel your energy, and they will act upon it. Knowing this makes me feel uneasy around my dog sometimes. She can look through me, and her behavior sometimes mirrors my own, which can be confronting. I also feel guilty towards my dog about my energy. I'm supposed to function as a well-balanced leader with the responsibility to fulfill her needs, but I can't live up to that in my current mental state.

So, I wouldn't say interaction with animals, dogs, in this case, is necessarily easier. They may not judge me, but their honesty can really make me think sometimes.

Yep, I can definitely say I feel the same. I had already, in fact, realized that I could be truly emotional only with other animals, and wondered if this was common among schizoids. Glad to see this thread come about.

For that matter, I even feel like if I had to choose between a relationship with a human or an animal, the latter seems like a better choice because I wouldn't feel restrained. Like it's been said, animals' affection is always pure. There's none of the social constructs that humans have created in between, and that's what makes it so easy.

The funny thing is, people have always pointed out how I seemed to care much more for animals than actual people. One such small example is, I remember an abandoned dog came around my school when I was beginning middle school (my school was more like an open campus than a single building, and it was in a slightly rural area, so this wasn't all that surprising). He was clearly starving. I immediately sympathized with the dog and gave him a bit of food, and over the next days, I bought some dog food and started bringing it to school just to give it to him since he was still hanging around, until he apparently left. The hard truth is, I couldn't see myself doing the same for a starving person. It sounds extremely cruel, but I do feel that way.

So yes, I do find it much easier to relate to animals. In many things beyond just social.

Domesticated animals like dogs and cats are basically completely honest with their emotions all the time. They wear their feelings on their face without anything held back. So if a dog is happy or sad or afraid, you know. I get along amazingly with even difficult animals in my experience.

People are more difficult, but a LOT of them really are not that far removed from those domesticated pet animals. They put on a show of things, but in truth you can read them if you spend the time learning how to do so.

One of the Nancy McWilliams papers talks about Schizoid Personality individuals being "more" authentic than the average person. I actually get a lot of comments along those lines. A girl I know and was out with Friday night made a related comment about how I seem to be the only completely honest out of everyone else at her little get together. And she's half correct. I do put on a face and a show for people, but I also genuinely engage in whatever conversation I'm involved in. I don't fake interest in things. When surrounded by a bunch of guys trying to hook up with these girls I'm hanging out with, of course I come across as the only real person, because I'm the only person not trying to get something out of someone else.

On that note, I think people with at least moderately high intelligence and SPD can learn the ropes of human interactions to some degree. It did take a lot of work over my life, it was trained not inherent, but eventually I kinda bridged the gap between interacting with animals and people. I think some people might be slightly offended by this conceptually, but it's not belittling in my own mind at least. We're all animals in some form. There's a reason most people can share empathy with a cat or a dog. We are incredibly distant, but we still have obvious roots. Animals are still easier, obviously, but I'm alright with people too.

It probably also helped that eventually over the 30 years of my life I met one human being where the feelings were at least partially mutual and I actually got to experience some amount of safe and acceptable emotional intimacy without feeling violated. Just a taste of that was very helpful in grounding me a bit. It's funny though, I went 27 or so of those years without that. Not even with my own mother.

Sweet Cherry Bomb wrote:Do you think when people see how attentive we can be with animals (or something like that)... the person thinks we are being distant to he/she on purpose?

This is a concern I have, especially with my family, mostly because I think that my interaction sets up expectations. They see all the time I spend sitting next to their dog and caring for him and then wonder why I don't have the energy to even speak to them.
And then...It's hard for me to understand the way people might respond to something or react emotionally, but I'm very aware of animal behavior and categorize a species' responses easily.
It takes a conscious effort to understand an animal's response, while more empathetic people just try to impress human responses onto animals.
So, maybe that's another reason they're easier to appreciate. There's more cognitive empathy without affective empathy. It never works that way with people.

ZonedOut
I very much agree i think animals are more spiritual... intouch with the 6th sense...or however you want to put it. They don't have the "ego" interfering. I heard something like animals don't have the same ego structure as we do that really they might not have an ego at all. Just an Id.

Vink
Yep very awesome i am not alone in this feeling. I've done the same with animals. I don't mind helping people like giving them food or advice. But, I don't want any deep dealings with people. I feel maybe i'm superficial at times. But, the honest truth of it all is... i have nothing to share that is deep. I could share stuff about my childhood, but i see that as pointless. There is nothing to gain by sharing that. I really feel like a vase.

Ashlar
Agree animals are very honest, it's not like a jigsaw puzzle.

I am very good at reading body language and actions. The problem is even if you are right about how someone feels doesn't mean they'll act on it. So it's helpful to an extent. I notice i carry a huge trait of indifference with my schizoid. (if you get my hint lol)

I do get angry when people think what i am doing means something when in all honesty it means nothing. I'm just doing what i am doing because i am doing it. I see everyone else that way.. they are doing something or not doing something because they want to not because their is a hidden message. But, many people aren't that way. They add meaning to things they do.

I am happy you found someone who understands how you are and is accepting of that. I think many people are looking for that schizoid or not. So congrats you found someone who understands your distance reflects nothing on her/him.

Slab
Very much agree


Thanks for the responses so far everyone.