what's on your mind? (off-topic thread)

I'm on Klonopin and it barely takes the edge off. I don't know what the answer is.

Distraction does help.

^^ anxiety is a bitch. Compared to my friend I am not overly anxious, for no reason. I am powerless to help her when it takes hold.

Today I am so f'ucking relieved the staff party is over. It was as expected.
People often say its never gonna be as bad as you imagined. They are wrong, but one can modify their reaction to how bad it is, through alcohol. I escaped after 4 x vodkas. The others were only warming up. I did my bit.
Alcohol being a depressant for me has caused the mood to plummet. Hope to soar upwards to a steady state of apathy again soon.

^at least you did your bit and now you can withdraw into peaceful solitude.

I found out the person that I liked and pushed away is now seeing someone else and organised a couple of dates to try and get my mind off of it but now that they are drawing closer I completely regret my decision and would rather be alone.

I think it's also the type of dates. I'm not serious enough for adult dinner dates. I just want to joke around and have fun.

^It sounds like the dates are too serious and you're putting too much pressure on yourself as well. Maybe try get the person back? Is he the one that took you camping way back?

If I were you, I'd ask the first guy to wear his underpants back to front and draw a Hitler mustache and in exchange say that you'll come wearing no bra and perfectly sculpt your minge into a hitlerstache. Something so silly they will either play along or expose themselves as a bore. Then you can choose to flake?

The other day a girl sent me a picture of her in brand new agent provocateur (perfectly angled, knee slightly forward, probably took 100 shots to get it right) and asked me for a dirty pic. (I don't get the sexting thing) so I sent her a picture of myself in short shorts squatting over a half eaten apple. "There you go you horny minx, touch yourself to that". People are strange. I act crazy half the time but I suspect I'm more sane than them. How the hell can people be so composed ALL the time.

xcagedsilhouttex wrote:I found out the person that I liked and pushed away is now seeing someone else and organised a couple of dates to try and get my mind off of it but now that they are drawing closer I completely regret my decision and would rather be alone.

I hated that. When you like someone but it's too overwhelming to get closer to them and they eventually say "###$ it." Why can't people understand this and give me the five years it would take to warm up to them and get comfortable?

Squaredonutwheels wrote:I sent her a picture of myself in short shorts squatting over a half eaten apple.

If you had worded that differently I could have used it as my signature.

naps wrote:
I hated that. When you like someone but it's too overwhelming to get closer to them and they eventually say "###$ it." Why can't people understand this and give me the five years it would take to warm up to them and get comfortable

Right? I'll even be generous enough to halve the five years and sit in semi-awkwardness at two and a half years but no... that's too "long".

Killing time by watching the new Amazon delivery tell me my house is two stops away, then next, watching the truck pull up and getting a knock at the door. It's pretty neat to see but they don't appear to be in the same rush as UPS. Not that I really care about any of this as long my package gets here.

I'm entertaining myself by shamelessly flirting with my doctor. He gets so awkward that it becomes ridiculously entertaining. Apparently I might be in here for a couple of days. My blood pressure and sugar levels are insanely low and I have been eating so I have no idea why. I might be overdoing it on the exercise.

I think it's rather sad that hospitals have become such a part of my life that it is no longer abnormal.

Sometimes I wonder why people give presents. Not people in general or presents in general (nothing mysterious about that), but certain people with certain presents in certain situations.

Today I got a present that's comically useless to me in particular (though the person couldn't have known it). It probably wasn't very expensive, but it wasn't cheap either. And the person totally didn't need to give me anything (not by any cultural standards, much less so by my own). And the present was just bonus on top of a pretty big seasonal cake (which they give me every year). Why?...

At least it was funny. And luckily I wasn't home when they stopped by, because I probably wouldn't have been able to contain my laughter... It was a really useless present for me (and also not really useful for anyone else I know who might possibly have a use for it, because they either don't want it or already have it). But comicality aside, I think food is a more sensible generic choice. If you won't eat it, then someone else will, and you get to choose who.

Giving things when you can't be virtually certain that those things will end up being of some use to someone after you've given them just seems like guaranteed wastefulness. I kinda feel like that's the actual social meaning of giving presents: a sign that you can afford to be wasteful, and that you're okay with it. And if you're not, then shame on you.

Which maybe answers my question. I guess the reason why I got this present today is because, in their early years, that person was made to feel ashamed for not doing enough or not having enough.

A couple of first rules for my marriage was nobody over for the holidays and that I need a list of things to buy or you buy them yourself. I don't want to put on an act nor do I want to be wasteful.