what's on your mind? (off-topic thread)

xcagedsilhouttex wrote:My personality has changed drastically over the past year. I have become a caring, considerate and thoughtful person rather than the selfish and egotistical person I was.

What is the most contributing factor to this personality change? If you don't mind sharing...

I think the correct answer is to measure from who I am currently however I think I am struggling to let go of the person that I was

Measuring from this state ties in with the philosophy we are inherently good. It is a better way to go.
I guess the person you were, is an aspect of you that you no longer need?
Dropping those traits that make us feel bad about ourselves in the long run makes sense.

Anger is such useful emotion. Very energising.

Anger can be galvanizing, but it can also be paralyzing and destructive.

I think it depends on where it comes from and how you deal with it.

I need to access it more. Giving the impression of being too easy going has its drawbacks.
I am way more assertive when angry. Currently I need to draw on this .
My affirmation:

salles wrote:My affirmation:

I get what you mean but that image looks self-depreciating. I went through that phase. It's a good short term solution, but so is liquor. Is that Rollins or a knock-off?

Giving the impression of being too easy going has its drawbacks.

I solve that problem by doing my best to not appear easy going.

salles wrote:What is the most contributing factor to this personality change? If you don't mind sharing...

My psychologist asked the same question on Friday and I am not actually sure what the true answer is. The way I was behaving was not contributing towards the life I wanted and I wanted to see if there was another way. The parts of me that are coming out were always there but they were repressed by the facets of my personality that did not allow for them. Breaking it down into raw components has allowed everything to manifest and it's starting to take a healthy form. I haven't dropped any traits and I am not inherently good. I've transformed the traits into something new and I enjoy that I am a multifaceted person who can be in many states. In this way, I can be a person who can view things from multiple dimensions without judgement and with the knowledge that any judgement that does come out is a reflection of myself and not the other person.

naps wrote: It's a good short term solution, but so is liquor. Is that Rollins or a knock-off?

Its ME

Short-term solution is fine by me until I can find the time to go and meditate in a cave for 12yrs.

xcagedsilhouttex wrote:

salles wrote: I can be a person who can view things from multiple dimensions without judgement and with the knowledge that any judgement that does come out is a reflection of myself and not the other person.

That is a tough one to recognise and admit to. I have to dig deep to recognise it.
And tough in that it can be hard to exert boundaries without being judgmental to a degree.

I'm having quite a difficult time at the moment. Everything is peaceful and full of tranquillity in my life and it's at these moments that my anxiety comes crawling from the depths to prod me. The pattern in my life has been that good things happen and I am lured into a false sense of security only to have my house of cards collapse around me. This means that part of my mind wants to protect me from that assumed false sense of security by becoming hyper aware of any possible threats that could take it away from me. However there is hardly anything rational to be logically anxious about so currently I am living in a state of impending doom without knowing where to place it. The only places it knows where to roam are places of fear like the fear of sudden death and gaining weight.

xcagedsilhouttex wrote:I'm having quite a difficult time at the moment. Everything is peaceful and full of tranquillity in my life and it's at these moments that my anxiety comes crawling from the depths to prod me. The pattern in my life has been that good things happen and I am lured into a false sense of security only to have my house of cards collapse around me. This means that part of my mind wants to protect me from that assumed false sense of security by becoming hyper aware of any possible threats that could take it away from me. However there is hardly anything rational to be logically anxious about so currently I am living in a state of impending doom without knowing where to place it. The only places it knows where to roam are places of fear...

I edited out the fear of sudden death and gaining weight because my fears are different. Otherwise, I know exactly how you feel. It's probably why I'm so pessimistic about everything because that way I'm less likely to be disappointed.

Anxiety is like a gyroscope in my brain, constantly turning, always a low hum of unease in the background of my thoughts.

If I let my guard down, any problem I have I will look at with the worst possible outcome. And worse; I ruminate over what could go wrong and it escalates to the point where if I, for example, miss a bus it will eventually result in me being beaten to death in prison.

Lately I've been doing pretty well avoiding this by amping up my apathy. I don't have the energy to worry about all the problems/fears I have so I just stop caring.

I'm glad to know I am not alone in this type of thinking.

I haven't had this level of anxiety for a good while now and it's quite alarming. For the past few days I have been on the precipice of taking myself to A&E which is why I have been more quiet than usual as of late. The only thing stopping me is the fear of being put into the psychiatric wing for a while which is not a place I wish to go back to. Sometimes the only thing that will help is a tranquiliser of some sort which I am not allowed a prescription for due to my substance abuse dx. I agree with it to an extent but it can be annoying.

I am trying to distract my mind with random facts.