The stranger exception

Acid Crystal wrote: but I'm not interested in (and even moderately disgusted by) sex, or anything that suggests sex, unless the experience can occur entirely within my own mind
AC

The "disgust" part though suggests some sort of trauma (?). For example i was horrified to watch a hard porn movie when i was 13, and this definately made me 'disgusted' with sex. But impressions can change. The emoptional commitment, itself, is another issue of course, with wider SP implications.

Control is always an illusion.

im sorry but control is not an illusion. its a way of life

prot wrote:

im sorry but control is not an illusion. its a way of life

You can, indeed, form the view that you are in control. But this does not mean that you have calculated correctly the state of the other person who in theory you have managed to control/have a controlled relation with. For all you know he/she may be thinking something about your attempt to have control, dismissing it alltogether and just playing along.

anotherworld wrote:The "disgust" part though suggests some sort of trauma (?). For example i was horrified to watch a hard porn movie when i was 13, and this definately made me 'disgusted' with sex. But impressions can change. The emoptional commitment, itself, is another issue of course, with wider SP implications.

For myself, I am pretty confident it is not trauma, as I have thoroughly analyzed my life looking for an answer like that, unless it occurred very close to birth and I cannot remember (this idea was postulated in another thread). I have certainly grown numb to it over the years, but I still dislike physical contact, and sex I see as being an extreme of that.

AC

being in control and control itself is 2 seperate.


control itself is not an illusion.

if you jump off a cliff on planet earth you will go down instead of up.


my issue is not with being in control but understanding it.



control is not specific its abstract. it not just a left turn its up down left right alltogether.

its not one propability. its most of them


its not somthing i have to activaly

its more like breathing

i dont plot, plan, phisically control, i just see most of the outcomes. i see it differntly. i am in no way smart. i just see different things


i predicted that alqieda was going to attack the u.s a year before they did. i had studied men before. but i had i had never seen anything like usama.

you can call up my best friend now. i told neumorous people to watch out for this man. i just know things

If by "control" you mean analysing a group of probabilities, while you are still in a situation where none of them have actually happened, then this can also be called simply "imagining possible outcomes". But then again those imaginations are still your own, and not really connected with what the state of others around you is.

Most people (who are mature) are non-violent, and empathic, at least to a degree. Being with such people negates the need to be always vigilant.

Int he world of children/teens, this is not the case. They have their own insecurities and they act with hostility due to them.

"imagining possible outcomes". But then again those imaginations are still your own, and not really connected with what the state of others around you is.

of course its connected everything is connected.

Scenarios of possible futures are one category of answers to the question, "what if"? Scenario-writing, as a discipline, has its own set of rules, chief of which is internal consistency. Achieving this requires that imagination be harnessed to logical rigor: the flight of fancy launched by asking "what if?" must follow a plausible path. Scenarios combine our fund of observations about the past and the present, our hypotheses about the laws of nature and society, and our creative imperative to expand our mental horizons.

But another category of answers exists for the question, "what if?" These answers come from our hearts. What if anything were possible? What would we want for the future? Creating an image of our preferred future is visioning. When a vision is created with conscious understanding of the possibilities with which it must contend, it can prove a powerful tool for strategic planning and personal motivation.

It is also critical for negotiation: everyone makes decisions based on vision, on their idea of a preferred future, even if that vision is never consciously articulated. While we cannot retrieve facts from the future, we can collect information on what the people around us think will happen in the future, and what they want to happen. Those opinions underlie individual and group choices and actions.

In a way, yes.

Lets say that you are person A. Then you are talking with person B.

What person A says to person B is not understood by person B in the same way person A meant it. Person B has to (ussually automatically) form a way to comprehend it, and due to this he transforms it in terms he can understand. But the original thought of person A was formed in the way person A examined it in his brain.
In reality the thought that reaches person B is not the thought person A mentioned, but one in which the variable of person B's own mental make-up influenced its reformation. In this way the communication itself becomes a communication due to the concept of communicating, and not so much due to the exchange of thoughts.

Similarily what you view of others is translated in your own terms. No one is infallible in his assumptions. Most people appear to not think that much all of the time, and on the other hand to be prepared to fend off something 'unexpected'. More calculative, and anxious, people on the other hand tend to think more, and then be never prepared to fend off something negative, because they were so preoccupied with it in the first place. This gives the illusion that they cannot defend against it, and therefore it is crucial to be more in control so as to avoid it. In reality the other people are not more able to defend against anything; they just accepted that they do not have to think so as to defend, and in their view the lack of ability to "calculate" something unexpectable is not that serious a threat (possibly this is why such people suffer from post-traumatic shock more, since they thought that this lack of control could not present a serius threat in the first place).

i understand perception. years ago.

what does perception have to do with control