Origins

Hi, I'm new. I've recently identified with Schizoid PD. It's been so nice to discover that my life experience has a name and that there are some resources out there. For so long I've just felt different from the rest of the population. In addition to identifying 100% with the accepted definition of SPD, I also find myself facing occasional, irrational anxiety related to social interactions. For this reason I identify a bit with Avoidant PD, but only in the aspect of anxiety (it seems contradictory to SPD, but perhaps I have a slight tendancy toward APD as well).

Well, when social interactions are not avoidable (and believe me, I will take irrational steps to avoid certain social interactions), I often have issues with eye contact, facial expressions, and body language. Namely, these things do not come to me naturally. I can immitate them with enough concentration, but I do not naturally scan the eyes for information. I do not smile very often. When I do make expressions there is a lot of thought behind them. They aren't natural. Well, despite this my main identity with with SPD.

To top it all off I find some obsessive behaviors creep up in my life and I have bouts of depression generally related to feelings of low self-worth, general hopelessness, boredom, insignificance, etc. This sometimes leads to thoughts of suicide (but no attempts).

Anyway, that last paragraph and constantly hearing things like, "You're so quiet" and "I wish you would come out of that shell" have really made me start thinking about the origins of schizoid personality types. I am wondering about the nature vs. nuture debate. I have a strong tendency to believe it is largely nurture, and I can identify aspects in my life that tend to support it.

What I am asking is for anyone who identifies with SPD and feels comfortable to provide some information regarding their demographics and background. Perhaps we can find some similar aspects in our lives. My answers are in parenthesis:

Age: (22)
Gender: (M)
Sexual Orientation: (Hetero)
Mother's Personality: (Eccentric)
Father's Personality: (Inward, Subdued)
Brothers: (1, Older, Rebellious Extrovert)
Sisters: (none)
Religion Growing Up: (Christian)
Current Spiritual Following: (Agnosticism)
Do you experience social anxiety: (Y)
Do you have trouble with eye contact, expressions, etc: (Y)
Do you have bouts of depression: (Y)
How close are you to your family [1 to 5 scale, 5 is "very close"]: (2)

Thank you, and hello everyone.

Hi there. I'll give it a go.

Age: (26)
Gender: (M)
Sexual Orientation: (Hetero by nature, Asexual by choice)
Mother's Personality: (Chaotic good (social worker))
Father's Personality: (softspoken, noninteventionary, liberal, likes archaelogy and theatre)
Brothers: (1, younger, very absent-minded (out of control even))
Sisters: (1, younger, gift of the gab, excels in interviews)
Religion Growing Up: (Christian)
Current Spiritual Following: (Atheism)
Do you experience social anxiety: (Y)
Do you have trouble with eye contact, expressions, etc: (Y)
Do you have bouts of depression: (N (new outlook))
How close are you to your family [1 to 5 scale, 5 is "very close"]: (2)

The only pertinent similarity I see is that we both have had "subdued" fathers. That could support autonomy.

I don't feel depressed anymore because I adopted a new view of the world. People just aren't worth idolizing.

Well I come from a repressed Catholic background and my father too is fairly inward, Subdued and passive.

Social anxiety and schizoidness doesn't seem uncommon.

With eye-contact generally I think I may hold it too long. Facial expressions are foreign to me.

(and believe me, I will take irrational steps to avoid certain social interactions),

Oh yeah, been there.

Age: (40)
Gender: (M)
Sexual Orientation: (non-practising Hetero)
Mother's Personality: (insecure extrovert )
Father's Personality: (dominating extrovert )
Brothers: (4, Older, all Extroverts)
Sisters: (5, Mostly Older, all Extroverts)
Religion Growing Up: (none)
Current Spiritual Following: (Atheism)
Do you experience social anxiety: (N)
Do you have trouble with eye contact, expressions, etc: (N)
Do you have bouts of depression: (Y)
How close are you to your family [1 to 5 scale, 5 is "very close"]: (1)

Thank you for the replies. So far it seems that we aren't close to our families. I kind of expected this but it's difficult to determine if this is cause or effect.

solitaire wrote:Social anxiety and schizoidness doesn't seem uncommon.

I am finding this out as well. What has confused me is that APD distinguishes itself from SPD in the topic of social anxiety. It says that such anxiety comes from fears of rejection, embarassment, criticism, and disapproval in social interactions. When I experience social anxiety I don't seem to have those fears. The anxiety simply creeps up and influences my behavior.

Age: 38
Gender: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual (celibate for the past decade)
Mother's Personality: Extrovert
Father's Personality: Introvert
Brothers: none
Sisters: 1 -Extrovert
Religion Growing Up: Christian
Current Spiritual Following: Taoism
Do you experience social anxiety: Yes
Do you have trouble with eye contact, expressions, etc: Yes
Do you have bouts of depression: Yes
How close are you to your family [1 to 5 scale, 5 is "very close"]: 2

The eye contact question needs some explanation. I use aggressive body language to keep people away from me. This often entails staring directly into peoples eyes for longer than they find comfortable.

What has confused me is that APD distinguishes itself from SPD in the topic of social anxiety. It says that such anxiety comes from fears of rejection, embarassment, criticism, and disapproval in social interactions. When I experience social anxiety I don't seem to have those fears. The anxiety simply creeps up and influences my behavior.

Yeah likewise, I can't say I relate very well to APD symptomology, I'm not a 'sweaty palms', nervous kind of guy but there is an anxiety there all the same. I mean if you're not comfortable in certain situations i.e. with people, and you find yourself in that situation you are going to feel some kind of stress or anxiety aren't you? Maybe stressed is a better word.

One APD thing I do have though is a dislike of telephones, I've always been a master at ignoring them. I spent years without one and it was great.

I often have issues with eye contact, facial expressions, and body language. Namely, these things do not come to me naturally. I can immitate them with enough concentration, but I do not naturally scan the eyes for information. I do not smile very often. When I do make expressions there is a lot of thought behind them.

So would you (would like to hear from others, too) say your eye contact and facial expressions could ever be perceived as very emotionally expressive when you put more thought behind them or for any other reason? Or are your expressions always on the subdued side?

I'm trying to understand someone who I think is avoidant or schizoid. His facial expressions (across the classroom) were extremely expressively emotive. He's from another culture and that could possibly explain some differences.

Thanks.

quiet-loner wrote:The eye contact question needs some explanation. I use aggressive body language to keep people away from me. This often entails staring directly into peoples eyes for longer than they find comfortable.

Hi quiet-loner. Well what I mean is that I don't naturally look to the person's eyes during a conversation. My natural tendency is to either look at their mouth or not look at them at all. I can look at their eyes if I concentrate on it. It feels uncomfortable. I often notice (particularly in women) that their eyes move back and forth intensely as if they are trying to read something. I don't understand this, I know I don't do that. Most of my attention is focused on supressing my discomfort to maintain eye contact. I feel if I don't act normal, then they will start asking questions and that requires talking about myself.. which I'd rather not do.

Do you stare at their eyes so they will stop talking to you? Or do you do this when they aren't talking to you? Is it natural or are you doing it consciously?

Ilse wrote:So would you (would like to hear from others, too) say your eye contact and facial expressions could ever be perceived as very emotionally expressive when you put more thought behind them or for any other reason? Or are your expressions always on the subdued side?

My expressions are always subdued (mainly I'm concentrating on eye contact). Very rarely do I experience emotions during a conversation so I just don't make natural expressions. Yet I can pick up on when I am supposed to make a reaction (ie. in response to what the person is saying), so I make an attempt but I often feel it is too subtle and possibly inappropriate.

Ilse wrote:I'm trying to understand someone who I think is avoidant or schizoid. His facial expressions (across the classroom) were extremely expressively emotive. He's from another culture and that could possibly explain some differences.

I don't think it is such a great indicator of those personality disorders, but it sounds opposite of what I experience.