Hello

Hi folks,

Well I'm generally antisocial, preferring to be alone, very defensive of personal space, etc, but lately I've found that I am becoming more distracted than ever.

Whereas I used to be able to focus when I wanted to, now it seems that I go off on tangents very often, my mind wanders of its own accord. I periodically find myself thinking "okay, I must do finish this, it's important", but then within 5 minutes I'm distracted again.

So procrastination has always been an issue, but lately it seems to be becoming more of an issue.

Now some more about me. I won't go into too much detail, but basically I used to feel somewhat depressed (but not too much) about the fact that I am 'different', but I didn't ever really feel angry at myself. I was distressed at the state of things, without apportioning blame anywhere in particular. So although (for instance) girls annoyed me typically (enough to avoid them), I wasn't particularly angry at myself or them, I just got to feeling a little bit down about it.

Of course I tried to be a really good friend to all my 'friends', and of course they used me, because that's what friends do after all. Trade is mutual use, but friendship for me never felt like a beneficial trade, it was like something I ought to do, a duty.

Long story short, I decided one day that these friendship-trades were negative-sum for me, and so I stopped. Rather than advertise my services like people do when they meet each other, I now prefer not to hide the fact that I am different, nor that I am okay with that.

I have experienced that, when people see that I am perfectly happy to ignore them, their attitude seems to change. They must still deal with me socially (in work situations and such) but on a different playing-field. How they react to that tells me much about the type of person they are, which is helpful since I seem to be far too trusting of people.

Getting back, the mild depression I felt went away when I changed my world-outlook. The turning point was when I decided that religion was futile and decided to look into existentialism, with the specific intent to find a group of people who were passionate about life while rejecting all mystic hocus-pocus. The passionate group of people I decided to investigate were Objectivists, and that led to some interesting events, but I'll forgo recounting them for now.

About the present-me, I am now very focussed on becoming learned, not to impress people but because one might call it an enlightened state. Many turn to hope to overcome fear and dread, and religion's primary purpose is as a foundation of hope, because it is far easier to hope for better days if heaven awaits one after this bad life.

When facing a potentially-meaningless life, hope is hard. I now see hope is futile, an inefficient cure for fear or dread. For me, knowledge is a much greater salve. Knowledge rids one of the monsters under the bed, or the gods that must be appeased. Knowledge rids the world of malevolence (dispells Satan, etc).

And facing a meaningless life, knowledge does indeed prove to be a much greater salve than religious adherence. Tolstoy turned to religion and hope, and (my unsubstantiated opinion is that) in the end he did not reach the end of his life contentedly.

If so few have tread this path, that is all the more reason for me to walk it. Should I follow the 6-billion odd humans in ravenously seeking meaningless sexual encounters? Should I become "successful" by having a family and 3 children and 2 dogs? Should I be normal?

(end of dramatic prose)

So yeah, I seem very distracted lately. Any advice on that?

I should probably add that the symptoms of Schizoidism seem to fit me pretty well, but I have never seen a psychologist (nor would I unless I could ascertain that they knew what they were talking about). I don't know what I "am" but I don't care much for arbitrary designations anyhow.

Hi Verty, I find it hard to focus too and have so for the longest time. The last couple of introduction posts by new people have really surprised me in their similarity to my own symptoms. The only thing I can think of suggesting is meditation, not that I've tried it. I wonder if Ritalin would help? It seems to help people with AttentionDeficitDisorder.

Objectivism hey? I guess a lot of schizoid types would find that attractive, it's not like they have a lot of friend's to lose.

Randoids seem to me to be a self-rightous, unspontanious, humourless bunch, what with them always having to check their premises and all but I guess there are worse things... except for their art - it blows!

http://www.cordair.com/bokor/beginnings.php

Hi Solitaire

Objectivism hey? I guess a lot of schizoid types would find that attractive, it's not like they have a lot of friend's to lose.

Randoids seem to me to be a self-rightous, unspontanious, humourless bunch, what with them always having to check their premises and all but I guess there are worse things... except for their art - it blows!

I think what attracted me was that they were so blatant about being different. Over time I found they were too adversarial, always following the leader, etc.

After seeing too many arguments about whether one can justify going to rock concerts or listening to non-classical music, I decided to move on Objectivists generally seem to find themselves stuck between extreme liberty and extreme responsibility.

One can draw some parallels to a church. In the church you find extremes, from ascetics to sex-therapists for married couples. For objectivists, the differences between themselves and Howard Roark are like sins, and if they stay close to whichever leader they have found, they can somehow absolve themselves. It's like church-goers who behave well on Sundays but misbehave the rest of the week.

The only thing I can think of suggesting is meditation, not that I've tried it. I wonder if Ritalin would help? It seems to help people with AttentionDeficitDisorder.

I'll leave the meds until I truly believe there is nothing else I can do; I'll use them only as a last resort. Meditation is probably a good idea, but not in the mystical sense. I won't spend 1 hour of every day in my "special corner" or whatever, but trying to keep a calm mind is probably a very good idea.

I also wonder if one's diet can affect concentration. I think I eat relatively well, but perhaps there are changes I can make.

Objectivism 'the movement' just seems to all talk and no action. Except for Ayn Rand herself no one who has ever considered themselves to be an Objectivist looks to have achieved anything of real merit on the world stage - this speaks for itself really on the movements value. Real achievers just "do". The whole thing reminds me of that old saying "Those who can, do....those who can't teach!" There seem to be an awful lot of teachers in Objectivism.

Meditation is probably a good idea, but not in the mystical sense.

Well there are a lot of different aims involved in meditation but more than anything it is a skill of concentration, so if you could learn to concentrate on a mantra, or even a candle flame, maybe this skill would flow into everyday thought process'.

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Well there are a lot of different aims involved in meditation but more than anything it is a skill of concentration, so if you could learn to concentrate on a mantra, or even a candle flame, maybe this skill would flow into everyday thought process'.

That seems to be a very good idea. I'm going to try it out. Certainly if concentration is a skill one can learn, I should try to learn it.

I've discovered over time that I seem to take 2 months to learn a new skill. Knowing this has helped me become more resilient because I tend to be very impatient but I can stick something out if I know there will be results.

I discovered this when I decided to swim to increase my fitness. I got a book from the library on freestyle swimming and tried to improve my technique, but I could never get the kick right. No matter what I tried, my freestyle-kick gave no propulsion at all.

Well I continued to try futilely and precisely after 2 months it suddenly came right, bam!. I was swimming the widths of an olympic pool and I went from requiring 16 strokes to cross it to requiring 12, in one day. So I'll give this a good go and see what comes of it.

Objectivism 'the movement' just seems to all talk and no action. ... There seem to be an awful lot of teachers in Objectivism.

I completely and absolutely agree with you. I could not have put it better. Objectivists are so busy checking their premises and justifying themselves that they don't actually do anything. I suppose they are destined to be outcasts.

The only "objectivist" I know who seems to have done well is Nathaniel Branden, but my experience is that he is largely disliked by Objectivists. I have not researched the whole Rand/Branden affair-saga; I don't find it particularly interesting. Any movement should be considered separately from the people that started it, in my opinion.

PS. I'll let you know how the meditation goes in a week or two.

solitaire wrote:Objectivism hey? I guess a lot of schizoid types would find that attractive, it's not like they have a lot of friend's to lose.

I found it very appealing even before I became as convinced as I am today that i'm schizoid. and yet I can't help but agree with you guys,

I completely and absolutely agree with you. I could not have put it better. Objectivists are so busy checking their premises and justifying themselves that they don't actually do anything. I suppose they are destined to be outcasts.

What would do instead of talk? Walk the walk?
Being an outcast isn't appealing.

Being an outcast isn't appealing.

It is to some people, goths for instance. It might even be to some cutters.

It's one thing to be alienated but to pursue it as a life style choice seems, a bit extreme.
I prefer both sides.

It's one thing to be alienated but to pursue it as a life style choice seems, a bit extreme.

I agree. I call myself behaviourally asexual but that doesn't preclude me from having a sexual relationship with the right person; it merely reflects my dim view of the prospects.

Similarly, if I describe myself as alienated, I do so insofar as I think alienation is warranted. That shouldn't preclude relationships and what-not, it reflects my dim view of the prospects.

In my view, many people are not worth having a relationship with.