Do you avoid relationships and sex?

I'm aware of all that. I don't feel left out, I've had a few relationships. I don't want a relationship anymore.

If I date someone its for three months tops, and I destroy it at the end because I hate it so much. I have absolutely no interest in sex at all, and all of my serious hook ups have been annoying to me and I just want to get them over with. It's like I do it because its strange that I don't want to.

PA11 wrote:Yes to both. Partially because I have no idea how to acquire either, and I have no desire to go the hooker route.

I'm actually kind of psyched.


Met a girl about 3 weeks ago at a charitable event that I did to get out of work (completely randomly), been on a couple dates with her over the past couple weekends.

What makes me happy is that she basically came out on day 1 and said she was independent with not too many close friends, but is generally ok at socializing with acquaintances. One of my biggest problems with trying to meet women is dealing with all touchy feely crap and trying to conceal my lack of a traditional social structure. She doesn't seem to care about either as she seems to be in the same boat, even if she's not schizoid.

Honestly, I only want to see her once a week, maybe twice, and talk to her sporadically throughout the week, and certainly not every day.

Anyone ever try to make something like this work? I don't want to ###$ this up.

PA11 wrote:

PA11 wrote:Yes to both. Partially because I have no idea how to acquire either, and I have no desire to go the hooker route.

I'm actually kind of psyched.


Met a girl about 3 weeks ago at a charitable event that I did to get out of work (completely randomly), been on a couple dates with her over the past couple weekends.

What makes me happy is that she basically came out on day 1 and said she was independent with not too many close friends, but is generally ok at socializing with acquaintances. One of my biggest problems with trying to meet women is dealing with all touchy feely crap and trying to conceal my lack of a traditional social structure. She doesn't seem to care about either as she seems to be in the same boat, even if she's not schizoid.

Honestly, I only want to see her once a week, maybe twice, and talk to her sporadically throughout the week, and certainly not every day.

Anyone ever try to make something like this work? I don't want to ###$ this up.

It seems like you've got it made. Maybe some day you can move in with each other, split the rent/expenses, never go on dates, get legally married without a ceremony, never have kids, and live with each other until one of you kicks the bucket. The good old schizoid American dream.

P0ppy wrote:I somehow just learned what SPD actually was, and it felt kind of nice to actually put a name on what I might have. Before, I thought I might have an avoidant personality disorder due to my shyness and social problems, but after reading about schizoid, it seems so much more fitting.

There are a few things I'm not sure about though. For example, I read that people with SPD usually don't have boyfriends/girlfriends and that they don't usually want sexual relationships. I'm the opposite. As stupid as it is, I'm one of those girls who likes male attention and likes being in a relationship. I will say, the boy usually gets mad at how distant and unemotional I am, which does, in fact, sound like SPD. So my question is, do you guys dislike being in relationships, and do you avoid sexual relationships?

When I can find a person who can adjust himself to my lifestyle, personality, and can fit in with my family, then I would be more open to relationships. I would not get into a relationship and have sex just to avoid being single. Divorce statistics are proof why that is a bad idea.

P0ppy wrote: So my question is, do you guys dislike being in relationships, and do you avoid sexual relationships?

I have been in a relationship before.(Many , many years ago) I hated it. Every time I was with my g/f, all I was thinking was, I just want to go home, be alone and do whatever the F#*k I want.

As for sex, well... I never wanted it. I always pretended I did. Whenever sex became a possibility, I would suffer terrible anxiety, and inevitable erectile dysfunction.

So.. The answer to both of your questions is Yes & Yes.

I have never been in a relationship (romantic/friend) and I have never had sex.

I don't think I could ever live with another person, i'm too used to being on my own.

sounds like a challenge
game ON

no, that's stupid
sex feels good
if they know what they're doing
and relationshits are funny to sh*t in

I can be pretty covert (not recently but that's a different story) and have mastered dating within my limitations. I'm over forty, I love sex and I am not a millionaire so had to learn.

The key here really isn't managing to date and coping with a woman's emotional demands (which are legion) it is coping with her reaction when she realizes how limited you are.

Emotionally healthy and mature women (sorry ladies no idea how it goes on the other side of the street) WILL leave you if they can. It is unlikely that they will form relationships with you in the first place, unless your mask tricks them while they are emotionally vulnerable due to some third party reason, such as a recent breakup.

When they do leave you it can sometimes be sorta sad and disappointing, it reminds you of your limitations. I avoid healthy women for this reason.

There are plenty of needy women out there that will overlook our "quirks" or even better not notice because they are excessively self involved for some reason (see an earlier post on I made referencing an old relationship for more details if you care for an example).

These damaged women need good hugs, quality sex and someone to reference at the office lunchroom when they talk about their weekends. You are capable of all that $#%^ with a bit of practice.

Do not under ANY circumstance date a woman that wants to "fix" you. It's intolerable.

I would like to apologize for the spelling and grammatical errors that are here, I have committed grave caffeine abuse and cannot sleep. Thank you for tolerating my stream of consciousness.

-- Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:50 am --

katana wrote:

PA11 wrote:

Rhab wrote:I have dated a highly attractive and narcissistic woman who was very controlling, I found this to be an ideal partner. It was a treat to have her make most decisions, dominate conversations in public and not emotionally intrude.

She left me for a more attractive and wealthier man.

I missed her intensely for some time.

Being able to piggyback off a girl's social life like that actually sounds strangely appealing.

Interesting. I've allowed friends to take over most "socializing work" for me in the past, though I'm ok face to face so I haven't tended to allow others to dominate conversations all the time, I neglect to keep up most social contact outside of those interactions so having other people doing that side of things was really helpful for me in the past. Unfortunately, its not necessarily a realistic way to live life in the long term and produces particular results in who you spend time with.

I'm not sure what I'd diagnose the friend with, lol but he was quite socially dramatic and didn't require too much interpersonal/emotional input, seemed quite happy not to take life too seriously.

Interestingly I've noticed I can actually get on with people who are like that (in some ways, lol - meaning outgoing chatty etc.) - I guess there are different ways different people get on with each other, and those kind of people are happy to carry the conversation and interaction which is something I can do artificially but it will tend to fall apart if im tired or stressed because its not my relaxed/natural way of being.

So yeah, i can understand that.

Also she was really pretty and fun to watch. That helps enormously.