Do you avoid relationships and sex?

Ashlar wrote:I have serious fight or flight responses to flirting.

haha, me too!

ArcticGreen wrote:My councillor has really helped me to deal with situations like this, they still occur but it gets worse when I ask out someone on a date and they say no. Which sadly does happen a lot.

I'd find the opposite when it came to getting stressed - if I asked someone out and I/they said yes, I'd become extremely stressed even if I wanted to see them, because my issues mean on some level I didn't want to see people, lol. Especially I think if I felt like boundaries of how much control I had over me were genuinely at risk, and if they weren't I wouldn't care, so stress would probably mean I was "involved" rather than not involved.

I wasn't emotionally "there" enough for this to happen consciously until the last few years, but I understand it better now. I'm a lot better than I was now a few things have "given" in relation to some issues. I'm not suddenly 100% on top of everything, but I'm a lot better and have made a lot of progress on some things, which helps me be a bit more laid back in that sense, and hopefully now more able to hold a normal interaction while relationship kind of stuff might be going on instead of turning weird and making it look like I'm a couple of sandwiches short. lol

Ashlar wrote:I have serious fight or flight responses to flirting.

Flirting doesn't bother me if I'm going for sex at the time. "Emotional flirting" from most people bothers me, lol. Non-genuine "emotional flirting" from people (even if I'd otherwise be interested in them) makes me uncomfortable because its unnecessary and makes things awkward. As for what's genuine its ok for people to be themselves if they can. lol

I just realized I don't meant the same thing as others when I say relationship.
So I will just go ahead and say I don't believe in relationships.
I try to avoid attention when I can.

Unfortunately, I am not attractive enough for women to just want to have sex with me

So I am willing to play the dating game, but on my terms

I was going to list out some fight or flight stories, then I realized it almost seems and feels like I'm bragging when I get the list over a page long. I've got serious issues... and the stories didn't stop. A girl simply called my face cute on an online dating site and I couldn't handle that... and that was only a couple months ago.

The "best" story is probably sneaking out when a girl had me at home alone after a lot of drinking. She went into her room or the bathroom. I didn't say anything, I just walked to the door not even thinking, got in my car, and drove home, still very much not sober. She called. It went to voicemail. I went to sleep. The next day we talked briefly. I excused myself with, "I thought you were going to sleep. We were both pretty drunk, and I assumed you went to your bed to pass out." I knew full-well better, but it was the right decision for everyone involved in the long run.

I haven't entirely decided how I feel about sex yet but I enjoy being single. There are moments when I'm alone I actually savour it, when i see people getting together or breaking up I feel very satisfied about my being alone with no-one being that close to me.
I am open to having a relationship... I think? I could imagine being with a person and the person would have to be someone I respect, trust and was sure they wanted me physically and emotionally; basically if I ever have one it will be the one and only person on the planet I'll let myself be vulnerable to. Obviously a person like this can't just be bumped into and I don't yet have any interest in dating unless there's a mutual understanding that it doesn't have to go any further if one isn't interested.
This hypothetical person must be intelligent in that I can speak to them on an equal level, I can't imagine spending copious amounts of time with someone I have to talk down to. They must be physically attractive to me and the hardest one to find is that I must trust them.
In general though I enjoy being alone. I think always imagined this person will be someone that I can be alone with, I had a thought yesterday that this hypothetical girl would share my exclusion from fitting in with people. Maybe I need to find another schizoid?

Sex is very intimate, too intimate, I have before but never again want to let a girl that close to me. They get to know a part of me I want to keep secret. I have no idea why, I think if they know me in that way I no longer feel alone, and I want to be alone. I suppose it's for that reason people have sex, to not be alone.

I don't avoid relationships, but I'm too picky to meet anyone.

I do avoid sex.

I don't have to avoid something that I can ignore.
I've changed in that respect a lot. When I was young I wanted a relationship to be able to move away from home, I don't know if I could have done it alone...then. I had no trust in my ability to survive alone, and my family was all but supportive. I didn't move together with my bf immediately, but his existence helped me to leave home.

I avoid relationships (making and maintaining) and sex.

http://addicted2success.com/success-adv ... ds-behind/

And that's it.