Does it bother you to think about sex

Darwinschild wrote:Thinking about sex clearly does not bother most of the men here -- what bothers them is being limited to only thinking about sex and not being able to act on their thoughts.

That may indeed be it.

Darwinschild wrote:I think women are going to have an different view about sex because their experience with it is so different. I suspect that is also why gay-sex is popular with a lot of straight women.

So how is the view and experience for females if it is different? I would be interested to learn more about the woman's viewpoint too.

As for the latter point, for me personally, gay-sex is not popular with me because I'm intensely heterosexual. I don't have anything against men, LGB, or gay sex, it's just not my thing, I'm very attracted to femininity, in terms of sex/gender, as in, I fancy a lady or a tomboy, but not an effeminate man. As long as they have at least 50% "female" in them, I think I could be interested, referring to H, but not sure about H and T until I meet them in person.

Daven wrote:So how is the view and experience for females if it is different? I would be interested to learn more about the woman's viewpoint too.

This short Salon article puts it well.
http://open.salon.com/blog/kessy/2009/12/06/verbotene_liebe_women_sex_and_gay_men

I think about sex quite often. I would be bothered if I didn't think about sex.

Darwinschild wrote:Thinking about sex clearly does not bother most of the men here -- what bothers them is being limited to only thinking about sex and not being able to act on their thoughts.

Yes, I think you're probably right about this.

Darwinschild wrote:I think women are going to have an different view about sex because their experience with it is so different. I suspect that is also why gay-sex is popular with a lot of straight women.

I don't see the connection. As far as I'm aware, the thought or the sight of "girl-on-girl action" is extremely "popular" (or, let's say, effective) among most straight men. As far as I'm concerned, at least, if I were faced with a choice between having safe, easy sex with an attractive woman or watching two attractive women having sex in front of me (or maybe even one attractive woman and another not-so-attractive one), I would probably choose the latter. It wouldn't work if I weren't convinced that they were actually attracted to each other, though.

Darwinschild wrote:

Daven wrote:So how is the view and experience for females if it is different? I would be interested to learn more about the woman's viewpoint too.

This short Salon article puts it well.
http://open.salon.com/blog/kessy/2009/12/06/verbotene_liebe_women_sex_and_gay_men

Thanks, I read it, not sure I agree with a lot of it, seems like a personal opinion of the authors combined with things that are generally known (at least to me) to be true. I know women who are plenty grossed out by and biased against man-to-man sex, for example.. and the author quotes some things as women like to do type reasoning, that men (or myself) very much like to do as well.. which kinda nullifies it as being a woman only point in the way she makes it in that topic.

Men (or myself) have at least some if not most or all of those same thoughts and feelings she expresses for women as well. So it's weird in that, it seems both an author viewpoint and over-generalisation (if it's generalisation at all, it's possible I feel different to the general populace and possible I don't).

anagram wrote:As far as I'm aware, the thought or the sight of "girl-on-girl action" is extremely "popular" (or, let's say, effective) among most straight men. As far as I'm concerned, at least, if I were faced with a choice between having safe, easy sex with an attractive woman or watching two attractive women having sex in front of me (or maybe even one attractive woman and another not-so-attractive one), I would probably choose the latter. It wouldn't work if I weren't convinced that they were actually attracted to each other, though.

As another male pwSPD that seems to have a significant sex drive, I must say we differ substantially here. The former would be very attractive to me if I had a strong emotional attachment, and the latter, well, if they were strangers it would be very boring for me, and if they were friends I would feel happy for them. Given the choice? always the former, 100%.

On some level deep-down if they were bi-straight, I think it would be torturous for me to just watch, either they want me to do something (join in, as a third "female" if necessary) or else I would go and do something else, I suppose it would tease me too much to just watch, unless they were lesbians or perhaps uninterested in me, then I wouldn't care either way, it would still be boring though.


My conclusion then is perhaps, everyone is just individually different in the way they think and feel about sex?

Daven wrote:It doesn't bother me at all, although I am constantly aroused (60/24/7), I just get on with things and it's just an annoying feeling in my loins that I wish I could ease, and some regular nympho/satyr fantasies in the back of my mind. If I thought about it actively i would never get anything done, and I don't have any impulses to do anything about it, beyond hoping one day someone I like hunts me down, that also enjoys it, and the relationship isn't a total dramatic one-way mess, and then well, abuses my drive.

If I had a casual or ordinary partner, I would like them to jump me fairly often, just to ease my drive a little and for the pleasure they would derive out of it

Haha, pretty much the same; i think to have an above average sex drive and my fantasies usually involve some sex-hungry female, yet i'm not enough motivated to go out hunting since i can get by with what i have under hand.

Daven wrote:My conclusion then is perhaps, everyone is just indvidually different in the way they think and feel about sex?

Of course each individual is unique-- that is stating the obvious. We don't have the same parents; we grew up in different parts of the world.

However, just as each schzoid is unique in that no two people share identical life experiences, certain origins and patterns can be observed in behavior and thinking among people with the same personality disorder.

By extension, it can be said that despite our individual differences, women have the shared experience of being female, which is a very different social experience from the one shared experience by men of being male.

The evidence is staring at you in front of your face in the posts from male responders versus female responders.

In any event, I will be signing off this forum for a while. It was interesting chatting.

No. I'd actually say I to gravitate toward fictional characters because I can create a safe fantasy around them that won't ever involve real connection but I don't like doing that because there are side effects to doing this so I try to keep my sexual thoughts on real people. When I get too caught up in fictional characters I lose my grip on reality and start becoming too engrossed in my fantasies and I don't find that to be a healthy thing to do.

Jacking off is way easier than bothering with bars, dating and all that - for now atleast. Prostitutes would be another answer I suppose, but there's no way I'm going to sink that low

Noidea_ wrote:Prostitutes would be another answer I suppose, but there's no way I'm going to sink that low

It's impossible to have any real emotional attachment with prostitutes, they're mostly in it for just the money, or because they have a pimp or other issues (if they weren't in it for the money, but for the sex, they could do it for free), and their only purpose really is to part your money from your wallet.. you would have to pay me instead.. and I still wouldn't want to do it, and I'm almost thinking about sex right now, except forcing myself not to have fantasies about it. I'm not bothered, just lascivious XD