Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

by **Nick_J** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:04 am

guess.who.loves.you wrote:"Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?"

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I discovered that I feel attracted towards people with schizoid personality. But why?

*SNIP*

Well, IDK, but I think that the schizoid personality adjusts to mine. Hmmm, maybe it sounds weird, but it's true.

Well, that was forthright, if you're ever in the UK do let me know. Nice girls are so hard to find.

I'm married and diagnosed with StPD. It's all about wanting to be with someone. Most schizoids can live without someone but I found someone I wanted to be with. There are still no showing of emotions etc but I love and care for my wife. I also try and show it, but it's difficult because most of the time I am empty...

The other thing is compromise... without this I would have no time to myself, which I need...

by **Daven** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:23 pm

I agree with Nick, wish I had replied earlier, as I'm also from the UK. If someone thinks that a schizoid partner is perfect for them that would likely suit me as long as they know what they're getting themselves into, but we're all individuals too.
This is probably a good place as any to find a schizoid person if you're not already one, not sure about the odds of something happening.

Have no idea where I would rate on the affection scale, it's very difficult for me to gauge that in myself, because what seems like affection to me might not to someone who didn't understand me, or might seem expressionless. If everything is perfectly relaxed I would be happy even if I'm not showing it.
Part of the problem isn't that I don't want to be with one person, it's just that one person has to be somewhat of an exact fit.

edit: oh and I do have cats, but it's not the same for me, some of my needs that I grew up with go unfulfilled.

by **Mrfeathers** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:34 pm

guess.who.loves.you wrote:"Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?"

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I discovered that I feel attracted towards people with schizoid personality. But why?

- I'm asexual (but if I'm in love, I would have wild sex if my partner wants to ), so that's great for most schizoids

- I'm not sociable, though I have great social abilities (I think I'm friendly and easy going, in fact, most people think I'm super extrovert). And if we have to socialize, then I would "do" it for him

- I'm comprehensive: I know schizoids need their own space, so I respect that

- I don't have a family, so no dinners with the family, no weddings, etc.

- I'm not ambitious, so I wouldn't expect much from him (if he's happy with a mediocre job and a simple life, that's perfect for me)

- I'm willing to give more. Obviously, I would expect some things from him: like displays of affection, not everyday... But maybe once or twice a week? That's not too much, I think

- To me, life has no sense (you know, "that friend of us": anhedonia), so I would perfectly understand his feelings

- I have been told that "I have the gift to deal with schizoids" (two schizoids told me that, in fact, one of them wanted me to be his girlfriend, unfortunately, he moved out to another city, so... )

Well, IDK, but I think that the schizoid personality adjusts to mine. Hmmm, maybe it sounds weird, but it's true.

I had a good laugh at that. Not at you personally, just the blatancy of it is very funny. I hope your efforts yield fruition, that would be very interesting.

Daven wrote:This is probably a good place as any to find a schizoid person if you're not already one, not sure about the odds of something happening.

I've noticed there seems to be a small audience of people that have an attraction to the spd mindset. I'd be interested to see how that plays out in reality.

by **Daven** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:53 pm

That's what I like about it. I'm blatent too. If I don't put any limits on myself, I'm blatently honest!
I think if someone can say what they think and want and nobody is surprised or offended or can make a snap recoil judgement on the blatency of it, could be a good thing.

I'd be interested how it plays out too, having a vested interest in it.

Hi Guess

by **laventeli** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:00 pm

i fell really hard (and for first time in my life) for a BPD (though i'm sure it was because of who he was as a person, and not because of that!). i can't say i know how feasible a long term relationship with BPD really is, but i can say i was the happiest i'd ever felt. he felt so much that it was very interesting for me to "adopt" his feelings and pretend they were my own. whenever he was reactive, i didn't react back, and so things would then quiet down pretty quick. i enjoyed being a calming influence, and i also enjoyed his innate intensity. and we both needed a lot of damn space!

at least, that's my theory. the relationship ended before i grasped the exactly why and how the dynamic worked so well.

or maybe all that was about love and not about personality disorders at all. i have not met another BPD so i have no idea if i would be as patient as i had been for the one i loved. and then of course one has also to factor in the similarities of lifestyles, living habits, likes/dislikes, etc ... basic relationship stuff!

by **Daven** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:10 pm

I've attempted a relationship with potential BPD and NPD as well, as you say, a factor may be the length of the relationship.
It might be that I'll entertain them for a few months, but in my case at least, I don't have the energy to sustain that kind of whirlwind indefinitely, even if it's nice that I might be able to weirdly fulfill them for a while. Also for a SPD person I'm probably quite sensitive and stubborn, so I think I would clash more on principles - and arguments never work out for me, so the relationship would die faster, basically as soon as they stopped caring about the relationship enough to counteract the arguments.

My happiest relationship is with someone that didn't place any demands on me at all, reasonably logical and moral and for the most part she probably kept her emotions in check or inside and seeming happy. I don't know if that is the best thing to have, because it's too important to me that the other person is happy.

by **kelphelp** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 7:56 pm

indifference wrote:I'm married and diagnosed with StPD. It's all about wanting to be with someone. Most schizoids can live without someone but I found someone I wanted to be with. There are still no showing of emotions etc but I love and care for my wife. I also try and show it, but it's difficult because most of the time I am empty...

The other thing is compromise... without this I would have no time to myself, which I need...

There are certain conventions in marriage that I don't know I can get used to. For example, I like the idea of living together but I would need my own bedroom and ideally, a separate studio apartment. I paint and work requires a lot of quiet and no distractions. Also, I like to have things organized a certain way. If someone moves in, he and his things would be infiltrating into my space, and I have yet to meet someone I like enough to even consider this as a possibility.

Does this seem like too much to ask for? Are you comfortable with the idea of sharing your sleeping quarters with another person every night?

by **Daven** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 8:31 pm

It doesn't seem too much to ask for to me, but it depends on the person. I agree about having possessions organised a certain way, someone's else possessions might not bother me, but if my own were interfered with then it would.
I'm comfortable and actually prefer sharing sleeping quarters with someone (as long as it's a partner, or pets, noone else), but then I do have some intimacy requirements and an aversion to total darkness.

I don't know if true or not but it's possible someone would feel distanced and lonely in bed if they weren't sharing sleeping quarters - maybe like not "true" partners if that makes any sense, because of a notion that the same bed should be shared unless there's a problem. I don't know whether or not that would be actually the case.

What if there was a marital type bed, but different bedrooms for possessions and living in? Would that make any difference because for example, that adequately satisfies the only part that seems like could it be a problem for a person to me.

by **Obumbrata** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 8:40 pm

I could do everything except share a bed. I just can't sleep in the same bed as someone else (not that I've tried many times). I could live with someone, have all their stuff around, no problem. It's not that I wouldn't want to have sex or cuddle, there's lots of fun things you can do in a bed with someone else, but sleeping isn't one of them. I'd have to wait until he/she falls asleep and then go to my own separate room with my own bed. I don't know how uncommon that would be for the other person. Are people ok with not always sharing a bed with their partners?

I like the idea of a conjugal bed, but with separate rooms for being alone when needed.

Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Re: Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Who is online