Who would be compatible with someone with SPD?

Both of my parents were extreme hermits (I became more so then either of them). So, I would have to say that I've seen a relationship between two SPD work out to continue this messed up string of DNA.

I've dated a couple of people, slept with more (I'm not asexual, actually environmental factors kind of gave me an over active sex drive. Damn you jeebus (agnostic) for giving me a penis and the lack of social skills to use it. Cruel jerk.), and have had a one sided love for the past year now (another cruel fate, give me a girl I actually like a lot then fling me into the friend zone before the moves can be put).

Anyways, out of this I've found that for myself the people that can handle me best have a couple of underlying things going on.

1.) Have their own life.
Anybody who attempted to live through me vicariously was bored and done with me in a week. Definitely had to have a hobby that had nothing to do with me.

2.) Has an external social network.
I can be a shoulder to cry on, but I empathize about as well as a pet rock.

3.) Does not shut up.
I don't know why this on this one. Just a pattern I have found.

4.) Has a sexual appetite.
? - Dated an asexual for a while. The relationship was not fun. I've always thought that a certain level of physical attraction was required to exist in the relationship. Didn't realize just how correct I was with this one.

5.) Can deal with the fact that I'm an asshole.
I think that kind of speaks clearly.

Blackthorn wrote:3.) Does not shut up.
I don't know why this on this one. Just a pattern I have found.

It makes up for your silence. Someone gotta keep the flow going.
Good points overall.

Blackthorn wrote:5.) Can deal with the fact that I'm an asshole.
I think that kind of speaks clearly.

I was going to add that I think it would probably be important that it be someone who doesn't get easily offended, or at least is tolerant enough and can manage to not take it personally even if they do get offended by something you did (or most likely something that you didn't do), but I guess this is just a rephrasing of the aforementioned.

I don't think a schizoid can ever truly be happy in an intimate relationship...

Placid wrote:I don't think a schizoid can ever truly be happy in an intimate relationship...

Your statement seems to imply that such schizoid you refer to could "truly be happy" under other circumstances. That doesn't seem to make much sense.

Why, another SPD of course!
Throw in the fact that SPDs don't tend to age physically or get fat/cranky, then it's a win-win all around.

anagram wrote:

Placid wrote:I don't think a schizoid can ever truly be happy in an intimate relationship...

Your statement seems to imply that such schizoid you refer to could "truly be happy" under other circumstances. That doesn't seem to make much sense.

That's true. They could at least be much more content being single though, which is what I was attempting to convey with that statement. Sorry if my post implied otherwise, I usually spend about 5 seconds typing one up.

Darwinschild wrote:

indifference wrote:I'm married and diagnosed with StPD. It's all about wanting to be with someone. Most schizoids can live without someone but I found someone I wanted to be with. There are still no showing of emotions etc but I love and care for my wife. I also try and show it, but it's difficult because most of the time I am empty...

The other thing is compromise... without this I would have no time to myself, which I need...

There are certain conventions in marriage that I don't know I can get used to. For example, I like the idea of living together but I would need my own bedroom and ideally, a separate studio apartment. I paint and work requires a lot of quiet and no distractions. Also, I like to have things organized a certain way. If someone moves in, he and his things would be infiltrating into my space, and I have yet to meet someone I like enough to even consider this as a possibility.

Does this seem like too much to ask for? Are you comfortable with the idea of sharing your sleeping quarters with another person every night?

I'm now used to it - it took some getting used to however. Space is a bit issue for me too but my wife understands my needs and gives me as much as I need (within reason).

As for sleeping next to someone, this is difficult but I want to be with my wife so I accept that I need to share my space with her, on occasions however I sleep on the sofa just to get a bit space.

Don't you think it would be worth it, to share some space with someone, just to fill the emptiness?

indifference wrote:Don't you think it would be worth it, to share some space with someone, just to fill the emptiness?

Honestly to me, it sounds more like reaching a point of resignation against your biological needs, or some sort of rationalizing...

indifference wrote:Don't you think it would be worth it, to share some space with someone, just to fill the emptiness?

I don't know. I guess that's why I'd be open to trying something like this (cohabitation that is, not getting married) as long as I can leave if I want. But that's part of the problem. Won't the other person get attached to you? I hate attachments, I want to be able to leave without hurting someone.
Does being with another person fill the emptiness? In my experience, it doesn't. But what do I know? I don't have much experience.
I'm inclined to agree with wooster. When I think of the criteria for a long-term significant other, it comes out as "basically schizoid". Someone who doesn't ask much from me, in return I won't ask much of them. Someone who won't be hurt by the things I do/don't do or say/don't say. And someone that I don't have to wear a mask with. I think that's the critical point. No masks allowed.