How would you react if someone told you they liked you?

IceBlock wrote:

smirks wrote:Oh goodness. That happened to me once...actually a couple times. It's so uncomfortable because you just know what their expectations are -- that intimacy that I just can't give, and then, you know, the disappointment on their end and honestly I just feel so badly about it all, because that probably takes some courage in the first place.

I think, "No, you go find a nice girl who can return your feelings. Stay away from me. I am bad news."

I couldn't have said it better. It's so uncomfortable. And when you actually say that "stay away from me" lines they think you're just shy and should be rescued. No one ever believes it.

Are you both women? I think women react differently to "stay away from me", because of the ways men and women are different. I get the whole "stay away from me" feeling a lot too, I try to repress it but I almost always end up trying to push someone away if I feel they are getting too close, whatever my other feelings are, that one always takes over. Usually though, I do it in a more covert way than "stay away from me you'll be disappointed" type thing, so they don't know I'm trying to push them away, and that's pretty successful I think, well successful at pushing people away.. not successful at getting into a relationship for sure..

It seems like I can successfully put a damper on things when people like me whenever I want to. I mean, I'm sure that's easier to put a damper on things than successfully maintain a relationship pursuance, right?
Maybe because women in generally like to be pursued as well, I think it's really easy for male pwSPD to put off a potential female partner, it's like easier than snapping fingers really. Does any male pwSPD have a different experience than me of trying to put pursuers off?

IceBlock wrote: No one ever believes it.

Tell them to ###$ off, it works better.

under ice wrote:

IceBlock wrote: No one ever believes it.

Tell them to ###$ off, it works better.

As a man I'd have to agree. If some men have an innate desire to look after and protect women, then telling them "stay away from me I'm bad news" surely will only increase their desire to pursue you. If a woman said that to me, I'd wonder why and it wouldn't put me off at all, at least. Whereas if she told me to get lost or that she wasn't interested in relationships or something like that, then I wouldn't pursue it. I think the 'rescue' thing would increase the desire for some men. I don't know, and maybe for some women? (I don't know how women feel at all).

The rescue thing works both ways, only women want to rescue bad boys with bad addictions.

under ice wrote:The rescue thing works both ways, only women want to rescue bad boys with bad addictions.

Yes! I've seen that a lot! Especially in younger women but I don't know about older women maybe they're less obvious about it. So it does work both ways, but different circumstances. There must be some women protectors in the same way as men too but I guess they are much rarer than the ones who want to fix bad boys with bad addictions?
How rare are the former kind?


I'm questioning my previous responses. If someone said they liked me, I have a tendency at some point to push them away if they get too close, if I feel like "they're good" or "I'm not good enough" and that they'll be disappointed, hurt, reject me or that I won't be good enough for them.

I'm not sure about the times where I don't push someone away, unless that is times where I tried to and they didn't stop pursuing anyway. There's also times where I don't expect anything to happen, and it does so it skips the "push them away" part. I think that might be more likely to happen with people who have pwSPD traits, but I don't know.... I don't have enough experience in the matter and I'm basing some opinions on one off experiences because those are the only ones I really have.

Women protectors...?
Maybe some middle-aged women who take lovers who are considerably younger? I really don't know.

I'm questioning my previous responses. If someone said they liked me, I have a tendency at some point to push them away if they get too close, if I feel like "they're good" or "I'm not good enough" and that they'll be disappointed, hurt, reject me or that I won't be good enough for them.

I'm not sure about the times where I don't push someone away, unless that is times where I tried to and they didn't stop pursuing anyway. There's also times where I don't expect anything to happen, and it does so it skips the "push them away" part. I think that might be more likely to happen with people who have pwSPD traits, but I don't know.... I don't have enough experience in the matter and I'm basing some opinions on one off experiences because those are the only ones I really have.

I think you need an interpreter, not a protector.

It's weird that this thread has not died off already.

I don't react to people that say that to me. It is meaningless.

under ice wrote:Women protectors...?
Maybe some middle-aged women who take lovers who are considerably younger? I really don't know.

I'm questioning my previous responses. If someone said they liked me, I have a tendency at some point to push them away if they get too close, if I feel like "they're good" or "I'm not good enough" and that they'll be disappointed, hurt, reject me or that I won't be good enough for them.

I'm not sure about the times where I don't push someone away, unless that is times where I tried to and they didn't stop pursuing anyway. There's also times where I don't expect anything to happen, and it does so it skips the "push them away" part. I think that might be more likely to happen with people who have pwSPD traits, but I don't know.... I don't have enough experience in the matter and I'm basing some opinions on one off experiences because those are the only ones I really have.

I think you need an interpreter, not a protector.

Probably, but I also need sleep, I have insomnia XD

What is the association with middle-age and youth that you are making there? Why not two young people or two middle-aged? or even vice, versa. In fact, shouldn't a younger man be able to care for a middle-aged woman? I don't see that age is the necessary determining factor at all, since youth doesn't necessarily equate to having problems, or being vulnerable, nor age the opposite. The traits of caring and dutifulness might with the latter and can be equally present with the former too, and they can be equally prevalent at any age.

OneRinger wrote:It's weird that this thread has not died off already.

I don't react to people that say that to me. It is meaningless.

I never really understood the thread anyway. I don't think people would actually say something like that unless they knew that you were off and you couldn't really realize it, and in that case I doubt they'd expect much of a reaction.

Velociraptor wrote:I don't think people would actually say something like that unless they knew that you were off and you couldn't really realize it, and in that case I doubt they'd expect much of a reaction.

Are you saying that when someone says they like you it is a covert put down?