Need advice for relationship with SPD friend

LoneWanderer wrote:Although I still think he's justified in posting this here though (although thats just my opinion).

Yeah, I wouldn't say he didn't have his reasons. But I do think that (besides all this incidental derailing) he's mostly going to get disheartening and misleading comments here.

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:Although I still think he's justified in posting this here though (although thats just my opinion).

Yeah, I wouldn't say he didn't have his reasons. But I do think that (besides all this incidental derailing) he's mostly going to get misleading or disheartening comments here.

Does it matter if the replies are disheartening though? He seems intelligent enough and aware enough to understand that what applies to one person with SPD doesn't apply to all people with SPD (and hence his friend).

Shake your dicks ladies, this pissing contest is over

So far most people in this thread have been helpful, even if what they say isn't what I want to hear, that's why I've posted this. To get honest opinions. Assuming those opinions actually pertain to the topic. I'm no moderator, so of course I have no say over what goes on here, but I can say that argueing over something petty like this is childish.

I appreciate the help from LonelyWander, non-cartesian and Twentyseven, and I will note that I'm slightly amused that anagram's supposed departure was so short lived

LoneWanderer wrote:Does it matter if the replies are disheartening though? He seems intelligent enough and aware enough to understand that what applies to one person with SPD doesn't apply to all people with SPD (and hence his friend).

Do you want me to count how many times you needlessly stated something that is simply your opinion, which happens to differ from mine?

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:Does it matter if the replies are disheartening though? He seems intelligent enough and aware enough to understand that what applies to one person with SPD doesn't apply to all people with SPD (and hence his friend).

Do you want me to count how many times you needlessly stated something that is simply your opinion, which happens to differ from mine?

You're both repeating yourselves. You just happen to have no serious opinion to repeat, other than that you don't believe I should have posted this, which I've noted and responded to. Dunno why you felt the need to come back again, your stance obviously hasn't changed.

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:Does it matter if the replies are disheartening though? He seems intelligent enough and aware enough to understand that what applies to one person with SPD doesn't apply to all people with SPD (and hence his friend).

Do you want me to count how many times you needlessly stated something that is simply your opinion, which happens to differ from mine?

Again with the attacking. Why are you being so combative?

And I didn't needlessly state something, I asked a genuine (non-rhetorical) question, which was "does it matter if the replies are disheartening"?

And if you're referring to this comment: "He seems intelligent enough and aware enough to understand that what applies to one person with SPD doesn't apply to all people with SPD (and hence his friend)." then the fact that I put "seems" means that I wasn't stating it as fact; it was just my opinion.

Jakez wrote:Dunno why you felt the need to come back again, your stance obviously hasn't changed.

Well I said I'd leave you alone...

@LW: Man... chill.

@op, good luck sry if was unhelpful

anagram wrote:

Jakez wrote:Dunno why you felt the need to come back again, your stance obviously hasn't changed.

Well I said I'd leave you alone...

@LW: Man... chill.

*takes slow, deep breaths* Okay i'm chilled.

Twentyseven wrote:I would not like a letter. Sure, it lets you think about it without being pressured... but whatever my answer was I would think of the next meeting as a very loaded thing. I try to avoid tense situations, high emotions, expectations.

If my answer was "no" I would probably try not to answer at all - by avoiding the person. If the answer was "yes" the thought of going to that next meeting would still be uncomfortable for me. But I don't know your guy, I only know me.

Asking me directly would definitely not be comfortable either, but it would make sure there was an actual answer and keep it from taking weeks or months to reach you.

Assuming your answer was yes (and for the purpose of this question that I'm writing the letter to you lol), what if I explicitly stated that I'm not expecting anything different from you, that I'm not asking us to force a change in our relationship. That all I wanted was to clear the air, and just continue as normal, just see what happens.

That's seriously how I feel. I'm not asking him out through it, or expecting us to start makeing out or something, maybe that'll come later, maybe it won't. All I want is for him to know how I feel about him, so that if he does like me, he can feel safe enough from rejection to tell me. If he doesn't like me, well I'd like to make it clear I won't be offended and definitely won't push him to change his mind (/do things that make him uncomfortable). I'm very sensitive to what bothers people, I'd never do something that I got the impression would violate his personal space.

no-mans-land wrote:@op, good luck sry if was unhelpful

Well you didn't really help me, but you asked a genuine question which I was fine with answering, and perhaps it will help other people in the thread take me seriously. I am prepared to be committed to this guy if he'll be somewhat receptive; I can honestly say I love him. Can I live without him? Yes. I'm not 12 years old, however I do know that I've never felt this way for anyone before.