Need advice for relationship with SPD friend

LoneWanderer wrote:Well yours definitely aren't helpful

That's your opinion.

but why aren't mine?

And this is mine.

I can only talk about this from my own perspective (naturally). Don't know how much that will help, but I'll try.

This one is very important for me:

LoneWanderer wrote:- People asking questions about me, or already knowing too much about me. One of the traits of schizoids is that we're "secretive". If he feels you're getting too close, it may cause him to withdraw.

I don't volunteer any important information about myself to anyone (not family, not friends - when I've had them). If people ask me questions that are too intrusive I will outright lie. Asking personal questions is a great way to make me uneasy.

I would not like a letter. Sure, it lets you think about it without being pressured... but whatever my answer was I would think of the next meeting as a very loaded thing. I try to avoid tense situations, high emotions, expectations.

If my answer was "no" I would probably try not to answer at all - by avoiding the person. If the answer was "yes" the thought of going to that next meeting would still be uncomfortable for me. But I don't know your guy, I only know me.

Asking me directly would definitely not be comfortable either, but it would make sure there was an actual answer and keep it from taking weeks or months to reach you.

Any hint of intimacy sends me running for the hills. Someone who was slightly interested in me asked me out for a coffee once (via text message) and I ended up avoiding him until he moved out of town.

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:Well yours definitely aren't helpful

That's your opinion.

but why aren't mine?

And this is mine.

But my opinion doesn't need explaining, whereas yours does.

LoneWanderer wrote:

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:No offense btw

None taken. I know you mean well, but I don't think your comments are helpful either.

Well yours definitely aren't helpful, but why aren't mine?

Because of pointing out that people's comments aren't helpful. In fact, you've basically derailed this topic. Good job.

Zomonada wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:

anagram wrote:None taken. I know you mean well, but I don't think your comments are helpful either.

Well yours definitely aren't helpful, but why aren't mine?

Because of pointing out that people's comments aren't helpful. In fact, you've basically derailed this topic. Good job.

Their unhelpful comments derailed this topic.

Zomonada wrote:Because of pointing out that people's comments aren't helpful. In fact, you've basically derailed this topic. Good job.

^ This.

And:

LoneWanderer wrote:But my opinion doesn't need explaining, whereas yours does.

Not really. The only difference is that you're demanding an explanation from me, while I'm not demanding one from you.

--------------

LoneWanderer wrote:Their unhelpful comments derailed this topic.

You're humble, aren't you?

anagram wrote:^ This.

And:

LoneWanderer wrote:But my opinion doesn't need explaining, whereas yours does.

Not really. The only difference is that you're demanding an explanation from me, while I'm not demanding one from you.

The only person who can decide whether or not our replies have been helpful is Jakez who has already expressed that my replies have been helpful. How does putting "22 - thats the number of times you've used SPD or schizoid" help Jakez.

I've done nothing but try to be helpful.

EDIT: And yes I am humble - very humble infact. I don't understand how I seem to be coming across as the bad guy? All I've done is try to help this guy, and then I JOKINGLY called you and no-mans land out for putting two completely irrelevant comments. I don't understand why i'm being attacked (i'm not trying to play the victim, I genuinely feel attacked).

LoneWanderer wrote:How does putting "22 - thats the number of times you've used SPD or schizoid" help Jakez.

I thought it was an obvious allusion to Anagram's previous comment: "If I were you, I'd forget about SPD, and instead post about your story in the relationship forum, with more details about him (and yourself, for that matter) as a person. Just say what it's really about."
If at first you don't succeed, sometimes you have to try being less subtle.

LoneWanderer wrote:I don't understand why i'm being attacked (i'm not trying to play the victim, I genuinely feel attacked).

It's not like I'm trying to attack you.

See how it started; learn a lesson.

You're welcome.

javert wrote:If at first you don't succeed, sometimes you have to try being less subtle.

Yup.

javert wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:How does putting "22 - thats the number of times you've used SPD or schizoid" help Jakez.

I thought it was an obvious allusion to Anagram's previous comment: "If I were you, I'd forget about SPD, and instead post about your story in the relationship forum, with more details about him (and yourself, for that matter) as a person. Just say what it's really about."
If at first you don't succeed, sometimes you have to try being less subtle.

Oh. Well I didn't see that. Although I still think he's justified in posting this here though (although thats just my opinion).

-- Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:20 am --

anagram wrote:

LoneWanderer wrote:I don't understand why i'm being attacked (i'm not trying to play the victim, I genuinely feel attacked).

It's not like I'm trying to attack you.

See how it started; learn a lesson.

You're welcome.[quote]

I was suprised that in Misery-crowns thread about Cluster B PD's that so many schizoids responded that they'd probably have NPD or ASPD if they had a Cluster B PD, but now i'm not so surprised.