Schizoids Dating Schizoids.

TheCollapse wrote:Participating in this board has made me wonder, how would a relationship be if a schizoid was to date another schizoid?
Do you think it would be dysfunctional to the level of just being pointless, or could it be so odd that it could work?
If you've got experience with this situation, how did it work out?

In my opinion, a schizoid-schizoid relationship would be as equally pointless as a schizoid-non schizoid relationship. There might be pragmatic benefits such as pooled funds, etc., but that would be about it.

Honestly, I don't get the impression that there are vast differences between schizoids and muggles. I almost get the impression that a relationship with a schizoid would contain many of the same characteristics of a relationship with a non-schizoid.

There are varying ranges of schizoid, however, from low schizoid to very high schizoid. A low schizoid would be a person who demonstrates only some of the schizoid traits, whereas a high schizoid might be one who demonstrates all of the traits very strongly. It's possible that one schizoid could find benefits beyond the pragmatic ones or that a relationship with a schizoid could be radically different than one with a non-schizoid. Maybe my impression is off the mark and a relationship with any schizoid is radically different from a relationship with a non-schizoid.

I actually feel like if I met another schizoid and we were able to overcome the massive initial hurdle of becoming friends, that we would actually end up being very good friends indeed. Without the pretense of emotional exchange, I think we would very much enjoy doing things together because the reason for social isolation in the first place would be all but lifted. It would be more of a collaborative experience than some binding emotional contract. No expectation. Mutual acceptance. Exchange of idea. That sounds pretty refreshing to me. The bond could become familial over time I think. Not maintained by "love" in the conventional sense, but familiarity and trust.

I've always thought that the best (possibly only) relationship I could have would be seeing someone maybe twice a month for a movie or whatever. Any more and I think I would get tired of them very quickly. I can't imagine a non being interested in such a relationship, but I think another schizoid might be more open to having something more untraditional similar to this.

anagram wrote:I can't think of a relationship as being anything other than an extension of a friendship. What are you supposed to do/be with another person on everyday basis, if not be friends? Share moments, ideas, receive feedback, support each other, etc. If a relationship is not a friendship that takes precedence over other human relationships in certain aspects (which may vary according to the agreed nature of a particular relationship), then what is a relationship?

Considering I don't really like my friends, and have done what I can to rid myself of them, I would say the difference (for me) would be that I actually liked spending time with them. Also, hugs.

Magic wrote:I've always thought that the best (possibly only) relationship I could have would be seeing someone maybe twice a month for a movie or whatever. Any more and I think I would get tired of them very quickly. I can't imagine a non being interested in such a relationship, but I think another schizoid might be more open to having something more untraditional similar to this.

That's sort of line of thought I was following.

I guess it could work, I can see the practical advantages of having a partner like:
- in case I have say a broken leg, I run into practical problems
- on holidays I like to visit the same hotels every year, I have experienced that after a couple of years (on my one ofcourse) they start to see me as weird and start getting signals that they prefer me not to come anymore.
- for the living environment it is better to hide being different, having a partner is more acceptable than living a solitary life (I personally had the experience that a married woman with little children talked to me simply to know more about 'this weird guy' whether she should be worried about her children or not (ofcourse not))
- getting old solitary (I am 48 now, so I start thinking about these things) will cause practical problems.

Ofcourse there will be practical things to consider like separate bedrooms but yes I can see a schizoid-schizoid relationship work.

I think the result would be a mirroring effect; based on the assumption that no Relationship is ever completly balanced. One (the dependant) would get to see first hand what the rest of society sees when faced with a schizoid individual (which could have harmful effects on that person. The other (the independant) would find the motivation to stay as rigid or even increase rigidness of their status. Birds of a Feather don't always flock together...

To me, the perfect relationship would be one with a large amount of distance, little to no intimacy and almost no physical contact.

That is hardly a standard relationship, and pretty pointless in my opinion. Of course no one is me, so it'd be different for everybody. I don't see why it couldn't work out in another situation.

TheCollapse wrote:Participating in this board has made me wonder, how would a relationship be if a schizoid was to date another schizoid?

Fun. We could have "who's silent the longest" competitions.

Do you think it would be dysfunctional to the level of just being pointless, or could it be so odd that it could work?

Why not? Look at it from a business perspective.

My girlfriend is social and I am not. She puts up with it and knows thats just how I am; example tomorrow shes going to a party and of course Im not. Ive been with her for 3 years and have never been to a party with her. She knows how it goes with me socially, deal with it or not. It is what it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGDq7bchbEU