Schizoids Dating Schizoids.

The only example of “being together” in Etherealstarlights summary was sex. Which sounded “legitimately […] perfect” to you.

If no one in a schizoid x schizoid relationship wants “dependence/responsibility/emotional attachment” how is it not apathetic? And how could therefore sex be something else?

I'm not nonsexual, I'm just apathetic about a desire for it the large majority of the time. The sexual element of a relationship bothers me when it becomes a responsibility or an obligation; to say that two schizoid people in a relationship would never have sex, I don't feel is necessarily a simple fact.

I just think it would play a drastically lesser role than in "normal" ones, and be more of a passive "if it happens, it happens. if not, whatever" kind of deal. At least that's how I'd see it.

The idea of a relationship without dependence, responsibility or emotional attachment is that it would seem that it would be a thing of convenience, rather than of obligation: when you are content in said relationship, and feel like participating in it, it's there. When you aren't, you are not forced to pretend due to the other party requiring attention or affection.

sometimes schizoids get lonely or long for interaction, but are too afraid to get attached. you know, they'd have a sort of an emotional relationship and not just a sexual one. they would place no emotional demands on their partner. maybe occasionally they could get together and watch a movie, discuss ideas, go for a walk, etc. not often, but enough to get to know each other after a while and feel comfortable with one another and be less lonely. be a little intimate but without getting too close, and their partner would understand perfectly if they wanted to pull away if they felt suffocated. if they were actually around each other enough (like if they were lovers and lived together or got together fairly often, i'm not sure about being friends), it would probably be a nice relationship for them.

I dont see how sex wouldn´t be apathetic.

To feel comfortable with one another is a form of attachment.

You would have to find someone who is on the same schizo-cycle. Otherwise one always has to play.

I think if two schizoids started dating they would get together once and then never see each other again because neither one could be bothered to become active and show an initiative in the relationship. Or maybe that's just me

No, but really, I think it would be a sort of a shared apathy. In all of my relationships with my friends (there are not many), I'm never the active person. I just drift, for weeks or months, until the other person contacts me because they want to see me. I mean, I like my friends, in a detached sort of way, but I don't really care if I can't see them for months. I'm really not interested in dating right now, but I think a schizoid person would be a good partner for another schizoid (in theory). One would have the coveted "in relationship" status without having to do anything for it. They would see each other once in a few months, maybe exchange a few e-mails in the meantime, and be content. I think the only one who wouldn't be satisfied with this arrangement would be the schizoid's family/close friends/society, who would think the pair are not acting couply/loving enough.

I'd love to try it. I can't imagine how it would happen, though. I rarely go anywhere to meet people and by definition my Ideal Partner is the same. Also I'd need to filter out all the theoretical physicists somehow.

EtherealStarlight wrote:like, they'd be so reclusive and passive that they'd never really do anything...

I like taking walks, and I don't mind the company if it's someone I'm comfortable with. I just lack the motivation to do so. So they'd only need a slight push every now and then, small enough to not be bothersome and big enough to be motivating. But one of the two would have to take initiative and become active in the relationship, which probably means that he/she would have to force him/herself into being so. Even if the role changed sides from time to time, it would still get tiring for both after a while.

Maybe it'll be worth the effort, maybe not. That will be their their call.

I long for a relationship, but at the same time I'm extremely individualistic, and I can't see myself giving this up. The frequency with which I'd be seeing a hypothetical mate doesn't seem to me like a critical factor. It might be every day, it might be once every few months. I can see myself feeling satisfied in both extremes. As long as my individuality (as well as my mate's) remains nearly unchanged, and as long as somehow there's an enduring sense that we're both participants in each other's lives (or else, what's the point?).

I can't think of a relationship as being anything other than an extension of a friendship. What are you supposed to do/be with another person on everyday basis, if not be friends? Share moments, ideas, receive feedback, support each other, etc. If a relationship is not a friendship that takes precedence over other human relationships in certain aspects (which may vary according to the agreed nature of a particular relationship), then what is a relationship?

TheCollapse wrote:Do you think it would be dysfunctional to the level of just being pointless, or could it be so odd that it could work?
If you've got experience with this situation, how did it work out?

I think it would be pointless. I did date someone briefly who was not very sociable. Not sure if he was schizoid but he had very similar traits. It ended up that we would go for weeks without talking or seeing each other. When one of us was willing to meet up, the other wasn't. There was no sexual attraction and when we did actually meet up, we would talk for an hour or two about philosophy or science, then get bored and go home. It obviously didn't last. It was really only ever friendship at best.

It's far easier to just have 'friends' you're not close to, have no real relationship with but who are willing to meet up once in a blue moon when you feel like it. There is always some expectation in a relationship that you should be doing something more or it should feel different to being with friends...it didn't (at least for me).

Ada wrote:I'd love to try it. I can't imagine how it would happen, though. I rarely go anywhere to meet people and by definition my Ideal Partner is the same. Also I'd need to filter out all the theoretical physicists somehow.

I'll give it up for you.