Agitation?

hello. i was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder 2 years ago. some time last year (i do not remember when) i thought i was going into a manic episode because i was feeling agitated, paranoid, and generally more irritable than normal, so i took my anti manic medication (zyprexa).

i ended up more or less staying on zyprexa for almost the entire year. every time i stopped it to see how i was feeling, i would be feeling the same overwhelming agitation, irritability, anxiety and stress. it had even gotten worse, causing me to constantly clench my jaw all night and all day (which causes pain, especially when i eat), and excessive sweating.

i talked to my psychiatrist about it and the first time she suggested that it might be paranoia. later that year, the second time, she said that it might have been agitation due to invega, so she put me on propranolol and lowered my invega dosage. it seemed to work, but i kept taking the zyprexa anyway so i could sleep.

some time after that i was put on escitalopram and gabapentin to combat my anxiety.

last month, i decided to stop zyprexa again on a very strong impulse (i get impulses to quit my medications fairly often). i had a hypomanic episode, mild delusuions of reference, paranoia, mild hallucinations, and extreme irritability, ending in a meltdown and alogia. the entire time, my agitation was severe and only getting worse.

right now i do not know how i feel. i am experiencing anhedonia, apathy, and the same agitation as before (along with a mild twitch.)

my question is, is it normal as a schizoaffective person to be agitated all the time? is this paranoia, or some form of mild psychosis? does anyone else experience this?

thank you for reading all of this, and i hope you are having a good start to the new year.

I'm no doctor, but the agitation sounds to me like a symptom of hypomania. You should hook up with your psychiatrist again and mention this at your appointment.