Paranoia in therapy?

I'm wondering if anyone here can relate. I've been seeing this therapist for about a year. I'm struggling to open up and make progress because I am constantly thinking that she wants to get rid of me, that she is bored, thinking ill of me, that she is harboring a resentment against me. Then I get angry for the lack of progress.

I find that I end up blanking out and being forgetful as a result.

Does anyones worry or overthinking or paranoia ever get in the way of therapy? If so, what do you do about it?

I have stopped seeing therapists several times because of this. After a recent stint in the hospital, the doctor there convinced me to try another therapist out.
I think we need to let meds get us to a point where we can at least fight back the paranoia and be open and honest in therapy. We need to get to that point first because therapy is going to be useless if the therapist can't be trusted. And the therapist needs to realize this and take advantage of the sessions where we can trust them.

I have lied to my therapists and doctors my entire life, because I didn't trust them. I didn't want to tell them the scary things. I thought they would hospitalize me against my will and put me on heavy medications that would dull me and turn me into a zombie. Basically, I thought they would remove my control over myself. I'd also not go to therapy, refuse to see a psychiatrist, only take certain medications, and only have my GP prescribe them. None of this is good!
I'm only starting to tell the truth to my new therapist. I'm realizing I'm not medicated properly, not in a good place, and that this therapist isn't going to put me in the hospital unless I threaten to kill myself or someone else. It is important to tell them you are afraid to tell them the truth so that they at least know they aren't getting the full story. It's a beginning.

Thank you for the responses. I have started to let my therapist know about the paranoia that I have about being in therapy, and that has opened some doors. Like you guys said, the truth is the way to go, even if it seems hard at the time. Otherwise, they can't help.

-- Sun Jul 10, 2016 5:35 pm --

Thank you for the responses. I have started to let my therapist know about the paranoia that I have about being in therapy, and that has opened some doors. Like you guys said, the truth is the way to go, even if it seems hard at the time. Otherwise, they can't help.

i def relate. im just now starting to open up and its been like a year. im worried everyone is thinking ill of me, trying to get rid of me, etc.