I Have Remorse

Edited by Mod

Nobody has any advice on what i should do with myself? 78 views ..

I just want to know if it's something i should be so depressed about doing.. this is the worst I've ever felt, and i feel it 100% of the time, seriously if anyone can give me answers i'd appreciate it.

Hi imsouseless,

It's good you got it off your chest. If you want to make peace with yourself, you should talk to your sister, apologize to her, ask her if this affected her and how she felt about what you did, tell her how you felt all those years and hope that this will restore the purity of a brother-sister relationship. I hope you will do it and I hope it will be good for both your sister and you.

WM

WiseMonkey wrote:Hi imsouseless,

It's good you got it off your chest. If you want to make peace with yourself, you should talk to your sister, apologize to her, ask her if this affected her and how she felt about what you did, tell her how you felt all those years and hope that this will restore the purity of a brother-sister relationship. I hope you will do it and I hope it will be good for both your sister and you.

WM

Hey, thanks for the reply I've been checking my inbox all the time haha.

Yeah i'd like to but i don't want things in my family to change, we've been through a lot, but that's a story for another time.

What i really want to know is if me doing that makes me a bad person, and should i be feeling this guilty because i'm comparing my self to child rapists and child molesters (am i a child molester?)

I've read your OP very carefully because I wanted to get a clear idea of what happened. From what you described, it does sound like hormones and teenage stupidity. You are certainly not a rapist and not a child molester. It also doesn't sound like your sister understood the meaning of what happened when it happened, but of course I don't know that. That's why it's best to talk to her to find out if what you did affected her or not, because if it did affect her, you should apologize.

WM

If you have access to a therapist or counselor, I would strongly encourage you to talk to them about it. You mentioned other things having happened in your family that makes you hesitant to bring it up with her, so it would be better if you could sit down and talk with someone confidentially and lay out the whole story and all its complexities. The therapist could help soothe your anxieties and fears, and also help you come up with a thoughtful plan of action as to maybe ask for her forgiveness (if that's something that is deemed suitable).

It sounds like you are destroying yourself with the guilt and pain of your actions... I think asking for your sister's forgiveness is going to help, and forgiving YOURSELF is going to help most of all. The most important thing here is getting yourself to a point where you can relieve yourself of the guilt and pain. And honestly, it really shows how sincere and good you are inside by how deeply your actions are grieving you right now. But you can't go back and change anything... you can only learn from past mistakes and then move on from there. It'll also help to check in with your sister if possible to ask for her forgiveness and see if it caused her any harm or trauma. If it did, seeing your shame and guilt and hearing you ask for forgiveness will certainly help her in the healing process. And you seeing her heal with help you in turn. And there's always a chance she didn't remember at all or wasn't bothered by it at all. So that could be freeing as well.

So my suggestion is, if you decide to actually talk to her without seeing a counselor first, I'd say to get her alone and ask her if she remembers when she was X years old and you guys used to play around sometimes. Gauge her reaction. Depending on what she says, you could then say do you remember anything bad happening? She what she says. If she remembers, apologize and ask if she could forgive you, and if it has negatively affected her in any way. If she doesn't remember, you could say well I touched you inappropriately a few times, and I feel really bad about it and just wanted to make sure it hasn't affected you. I'm sure she'll appreciate your openness and honesty in coming forward even if she didn't remember.

Best of luck, and don't be so hard on yourself.

what you did was wrong and stupid, but you obviously feel guilty over it and should repair the situation soon. You can't keep repressing what happened. You need to talk to someone.

Alright i'm just going to add that i didn't do this 7 years ago, i'm a teen now and it happened about 3 weeks ago. Should i tell my mum? I can't deal with this guilt anymore..

I am moving this to the Remorse Forum as it is more appropriate there due to its content.

I think it is extremely important that you tell an adult that this has happened as it needs to be addressed urgently for both of you. Please tell someone like your Mum. You have been honest here which is really good and very brave of you but you also need to be honest in 3D. Please tell her and let us know how it goes.

Cracked

CrackedGirl wrote:I am moving this to the Remorse Forum as it is more appropriate there due to its content.

I think it is extremely important that you tell an adult that this has happened as it needs to be addressed urgently for both of you. Please tell someone like your Mum. You have been honest here which is really good and very brave of you but you also need to be honest in 3D. Please tell her and let us know how it goes.

Cracked

If i do tell my mum, she'd probably disown me. Probably call the police too..

If i talk to my school counselor she'd probably report it to the police as well. I'm such a waste of space, this has practically ruined my entire life.