Still upset.

I posted a few months ago about something that I did: remorse/topic78774.html

and most of the people were so kind and helpful, but I've been reading about other incidents where people were convicted of a child molestating another child, and I'm so hurt by all of this because it seems that what I did is considered molestation. I was always hoping it wasn't. Because of that, I feel like I want to tell me mom or someone, but I have such a huge fear of going to jail. I'm not sure if I would go to jail or what, but I think I would. Because of this, it makes me feel like I should tell just to go to jail, but I don't want to! I hate the thought of spending years in jail or juvie (I was 14 when I did this). I feel like I should be punished. I just don't know what to do. I'm so completely depressed.

I think you are punishing yourself more than you deserve to by how bad you are feeling about this. I stand by what I said in my initial reply to you and I dont think you deserve punishment for this. Yes you were unwise but you did not assault them, or not in my opinion.

Keep talking here - can you think of anything that might be making you feel so guilty and bad about yourself other than the incidents you have talked about?

Cracked

I guess I just feel so badly because the spanking thing started out as a game, but eventually I liked it and did it because I liked it and to get them to spank me back because I liked it. I know I stopped them when I was older, but still. I just feel like I molested them. This may seem stupid, but I'm playing a star wars game lately and I feel I can't be a Jedi in the game because I'm a bad person. I've always liked being the "good guy" but feel like I can't anymore.

I think the most important thing you need to do is to forgive yourself and let yourself let go of the past. If you were a bad person you would not be feeling bad about this like you are. No one is all bad or all good - we are a mixture of the two and it is OK to be like that. I still dont think you hurt them even if you enjoyed it and I think it is important you try to forgive yourself.

Cracked