im an abuser

Hi Reversal, I think it is a good idea to leave your sister alone and work on the topic with a professional to sort it out for yourself. It might turn out your sister needs qualified help, and it would be the responsibility of your counselor, therapist or whatever to make sure she gets it. This is none of your business, unless you are a superhero.
In my opinion it was a mistake to play that games with your little sister, too much inbalance of power. You crossed a red line, but that is what children do. The time will come when she is ready to tell her part of the story. 
My sister is 4 years ahead. I hated her for really good reasons when she left home. Our relation changed when she was out. We were no longer forced together, free to choose each other. I had good times with her. One day I told her my part and she understood, apologized and even compensated. Way to go.

@Remis Fargo. I see. I have to say i feel a bit more restful now reading this. I can't imagine hating someone else within a family for years on end. That being said, I'm nervous as to what 'her side of the story' may be. I don't want her to have took pleasure from the experience but i don't want her to have took resentment either.

Reserval I don't think you are a abuser.

IMO you and your sister were both feeling unloved and invalidated. You both were looking for affection/ closeness, in a bleak, unloving, cold, isolated environment.
Your relationships with your parents seem strange, your father maybe, there were sexual undertones to his 'play'.
Children need love, they need TLC it is essential to their mental well-being, if they don't get it they take it from wherever it is to be found, so you and your sister you indulged in sexual play achieving a type of closeness, albeit inappropriate.

You were both children, do not feel guilty.

It sounds like your sister was not forced to do anything.
If I was your sister I would be feeling embarrassed remembering the things we did. She seems resentful & angry. Its not about whether she enjoyed it or not, it was a form of comfort to you and her at the time.
She's probably angry with herself not you.

Friends of mine lived in a bleak environment as children, as young teenagers brother and sister had sex a few times. It stopped as they got older, they both got b/fs and g/fs of their own, and married last time I heard they were living normal lives.
They did not end up as child abusers.
In a very unloving dysfunctional family, incest is can happen. The children are not looking for sex so much as loving contact.

Do you fancy people your own age now? To touch a child in a sexual way now, now that would be abuse.

@ Greatexpectations: Nicely put, and I agree.

Reversal, I slept on it. I knew a 16 year old abuser, peer of mine, and witnessed him bragging, eons of flat denial and some lame self affliction poses at last. I dropped him, not because of what he had done, but because I was fed up with the way he dealt with it. The person he victimized is one of my best friends today.
Your posts are not what I expect from an abuser, and I will stop to reply to this thread, because I do not want you to read its headline over and over. Thanks for sharing, tc and see you around.

@great expectations. Thanks. My household was not what i would say 'bleak'my parents (and us consequently) were always awkward towards ourselves and other people. Perhaps the real reason was the lack of childhood friends. The ones we did have were manipulative and controlling so we didnt contact them much. Anyways, at least i can stay in the same room with her without feeling deadful. Hopefully we will communicate again soon. And yes do very fancy peers my age now. Amusingly, it take some effort to commicate among them because of my awkward upbringing, but i'll get there I think everything thats needed to be said was said here. Thank you for your replies. I will follow suit with Remis Fargo and stop posts here. From this point on feel free to post similiar stories. I might be visiting periodically, Goodbye.